Syndonia Posted May 22, 2018 Share Posted May 22, 2018 Please could I ask for some advice? I've been in a strange kind of half friendship/half relationship for some time now, and I've known for a while that my feelings for him are stronger than his are for me. For him, it's just casual - whereas I've fallen head over heels for him. So I need to get myself out of this situation and move on. It's become apparent that he feels I'm too attached - and he's right. I'm trying to distance myself, but the only way I can describe how I feel is like it's a bereavement, but I still see the person I'm grieving for as we move in the same circles. On Friday night, we are both going to be at the same social event - a monthly event that I generally really enjoy. I will be alone this time. I think he is likely to turn up with another woman - or if he is alone, that he will keep his distance from me (we're usually very flirty when together). Inside I will probably be feeling terrible, but I don't want him to know that. Does anyone have any insight on how I can handle my feelings, and how I should approach this? I feel like I'm going to have to go into some kind of 'role' to get through the evening with my dignity intact, but I'm not sure if that's the right thing to do? Link to comment
Cope Posted May 22, 2018 Share Posted May 22, 2018 The right thing to do for who? If you won't be able to handle it, don't go. NC is the best way to get over someone and even though it's an event you usually enjoy, it happens monthly, so missing it a couple of times is nothing compared to the "damage" a meeting with him will cause. Also, have you guys broken up or is it just you that's "trying to distance" yourself? Link to comment
DanZee Posted May 23, 2018 Share Posted May 23, 2018 There's no easy answer. It's mind over emotion. You can will yourself to be cordial on the outside while sad on the inside. There are no tricks you can do, just willpower. To distract yourself, hang out with your friends, and if this is a dance, dance with other boys. Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted May 23, 2018 Share Posted May 23, 2018 Is it absolutely imperative that you go this month? I would probably skip it this time if it's going to be this hard on you. And there's no shame in that; taking space for yourself under such circumstances is understandable. Link to comment
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