I am feeling so depressed right now :(

[Pelotte]

Hi,

 

My ex broke up with me 2 months ago, it was our first relationship.

He kept insisting that we should maintain contacts, talking about how we could be friends down the road, how he was still glad he met me, how I made him happy during the relationship and getting upset when I mentioned I would probably block him in order to heal.

He said we were "adults" and that I couldn't block him anyway because he had deactivated his facebook accounts for weeks now.

I, on the other hand, was completely heartbroken and wasn't interested in a friendship at the time, because he said very mean things to me (I posted my story if you're interested).

 

 

When I last saw him to give his stuff back, I said he would be nice to block me or at least unfriend me on fb and he rolled his eyes and said "but why ? Yeah... whatever ..."

 

Today, I found out he did reactivate his accound because I came accross some pictures of him on my news feed

Anyway, I immediately blocked him and hours later, he blocked me back...

 

I know it's silly, but that made me really sad. I haven't cried for weeks, but today my eyes are red and puffy I guess it's because I realise he's detaching himself from me, and that hurts so badly :( How can someone I cared so much about become a stranger ? That is so depressing. We used to share so mu, I don't understand. I keep reliving the good moments and I can't believe it's over

 

I was doing better, journaling and focusing in my life. I didn't miss him at all in the last few weeks because I felt my life was good as it was, and my studies were going well and now, it's as if I am relapsing and I don't know what to do or feel ...

Will the pain ever stop ? I can't wait to be over him !

 

Thank you so much :)

[1tym]

Keep crying and afterwards you will feel better. Temporary but still moment of peace is better than nothing.

[limichelle]

Im sorry OP you are going through this. Its okay to cry it out. Let your heart heal!

[DanZee]

The guy was a jerk. You should block him on everything and not contact him because having any contact only hurts the healing. You shouldn't focus on the good times, because he told you he didn't care for you and you weren't his type. And he said a lot of insulting things that a guy should never say to a girl he cares for.

 

So I would tell you to focus on the bad things he represented and forget about him. This was only your first relationship. There will be others, and hopefully your future boyfriends will be much nicer than this one.

[Pelotte]

Thank you so much, I needed to hear that. I will definitely stick to NC and I have no urge to talk to him.

I don't know why my brain obsesses over the good times even though he behaved poorly :(

I would like to know how do you move on and how you handle the bads days ?

Thank you :)

[Carus]

I don't know why my brain obsesses over the good times even though he behaved poorly :(

I would like to know how do you move on and how you handle the bads days ?

Thank you :)

This for you Pelotte* ~

 

Hope it helps.

 

Carus*

[Pelotte]

Thank you so much !! :) I will definitely have a look !

 

I am still surprised he noticed I blocked him only after a few hours ... I thought by this point he didn’t care about me at all and that it would be unperceived.

 

Usually, I don’t notice when people I don’t care about block me because I don’t give them attention anyways. Am I reading too much into it ?

I think he did it as a «retaliation» which is kind of petty when I think about it.

 

I am sorry I know I shouldn’t care and I am sure it’s a matter of time, but for now I still think about him a lot 🤦🏻♀️

[MissCanuck]

When you have bad days, remember how awful you felt when he listed all the things he didn't like about you. Then you will remember why you are going to be happy this jerk is gone.

 

He sounds ridiculously immature. How old is this guy?

[Wiseman2]

Sorry to hear this. What was the breakup about? After someone breaks up with you, they have zero say in whatever you choose to do. Why are you letting him control and manipulate you like this. Go no contact immediately and delete and block him and all his people from all your messaging and social media apps. It's your call, not his.

He said we were "adults" and that I couldn't block him anyway because he had deactivated his facebook accounts for weeks now. I, on the other hand, was completely heartbroken and wasn't interested in a friendship at the time, because he said very mean things to me

[Pelotte]

When you have bad days, remember how awful you felt when he listed all the things he didn't like about you. Then you will remember why you are going to be happy this jerk is gone.

 

He sounds ridiculously immature. How old is this guy?

 

He's 25, and turning 26 next month actually... I think he's immature as well, but what makes you say that ?

 

Yes, that's true :/ My friends think he doesn't deserve me.

[Pelotte]

Sorry to hear this. What was the breakup about? After someone breaks up with you, they have zero say in whatever you choose to do. Why are you letting him control and manipulate you like this. Go no contact immediately and delete and block him and all his people from all your messaging and social media apps. It's your call, not his.

 

Thank you very much ! Yes, you're totally right. He turned out to be a bit manipulative in the end of the relationship when he felt things didn't go as he planned...

To put it briefly, the relationship was going "well", we never fought, there was no abuse or cheating, but he said his feelings for me changed, that he was kind of afraid of commitment, he said the fact I was not his type helped :( : He didn't like my hair, my hands, and he felt I was too "calm" for him, not "athletic" enough ...

(I posted my story if you want a longer version)

 

At the end, he left me a note when he gave me back my stuff saying "The truth is I love you but I was scared so I rejected you" which is utter nonsense to me...

 

My therapist said he was a bit manipulative.

And since I know him, I know he had a lot of un resolved issues regarding his childhood, his parents ... (i told him he could benefit from a therapy plenty of times because i was worried).

 

He believed in "the One" and thought a relationship could be 100% perfect and passionate all the time. And my best friend, who knows him as well thinks the break up was due to his personal issues$

 

Don't worry he's already blocked everywhere :) And I know when he broke up with me, he allowed me to leave permanenlty. But it seems like he wants his cake and eat it too, that's why he insisted that we could remain friends, and I think that's what the note was about to keep me hung up on him. But that's only my opinion

[MissCanuck]

He's 25, and turning 26 next month actually... I think he's immature as well, but what makes you say that ?

 

Yes, that's true :/ My friends think he doesn't deserve me.

 

Because he cited your belly and your hands (?!!) as things he didn't like about you. Then can't understand why you don't want to be his friend.

 

A mature man has a filter and sensitivity, and would not insist on remaining social media "friends" after they dump you, much less criticize you the way this one did.

[Pelotte]

That's true.

As stupid as it sounds, sometimes my heart still have "hope" we will get back together and he will be the kind and compassionnate guy I fell in love with whereas my head knows well he can be a jerk and I am much better off without him !!

 

How do I get rid of that stupid hope ? I am trying as much as I can to fill the void, I started working out, studying more, volunteering, and organizing a journey in Australia. I realise now how much I lost myself in the relationship. I just hope time will help me build a life where he doesn't matter anymore