Wove! True Wove!

[Kerryalex]

Going through a divorce.

 

I’ve been thinking about it. Being that half the population ends in divorce. There’s 7billion people on the planet. That’s 3.5BILLION people who end in divorce!

 

Or.. well. Maybe not all countries. Okay, maybe not 3.5 billion, but a lot!

 

Maybe some couples in other countries commit Harry or some weird tradition like that but the sentiment is still there.

 

 

 

People spend SO much money on getting married. The in-laws, friends, family put a lot into gifts, donations ect.,

 

Just so much money goes into one wedding.

 

Instead of putting so much money into a marriage, why don’t they put it into the divorce? Because THAT is expensive!

 

Depending on the divorce of course, but most I would say - just go ahead create a divorce account just in case.

 

Have friends and relatives pull together money, instead of buying gifts, put money into the divorce pot.

 

 

 

Then I thought how weird a reality that would be.

 

 

 

Facebook and social media would be different.

 

 

 

“So-and-so and so-and-so are getting married. Please donate to their divorce fund, because the in-laws won’t do it

 

We were trying reaching a goal of $10,000 to get a decent lawyer, but thanks to your generosity we exceeded our goal of $30,000! This is going to be the BEST divorce ever!”

 

 

 

After three years say, the couple are in the process of divorce; loved ones who donated get invited to the divorce.

 

Invitation cards, and RSVPs are delivered months in advance so everyone can get a chance to respond.

 

 

 

And of course, people will about going..

 

 

 

Susan: I don’t think we should go. I think it’s wrong to go. Let’s just not go honey okay?

 

Henry: No. I’m going to this divorce goddammit!

 

Susan: But we weren’t really close friends

 

Henry: I put money into this divorce. I’m going. The way I see it, I bought tickets to this event. She is a hard core alcoholic and he is a serial cheater with bisexual midgets. I’m getting front row seats to this show!!”

 

Susan: oh okay… since we paid for it.

 

 

 

However, there are couples that stay together and remain happy in their marriage.

 

(I have to say ‘happy in their marriage’ as a caveat because we know that some stay in miserable marriages for whatever reason)

 

Those who stay together in misery can give their divorce fund as an inheritance towards their children’s divorce I suppose.

 

 

 

But for those who have stayed together and have no intention of ever divorcing.

 

They are going to be strong and in love till the day they die. Good for them!

 

They should use their ‘Divorce money’ and throw a HUGE orgy in Utah. Yes. Utah. Because I think Utah is an appropriate place to throw an Orgy. Not much going on out there and I do believe people turn a blind eye to that kind of thing..

 

Being that in Utah, a man can have MULTIPLE wives to divorce…. Polygamy is legal in Utah. (I’m not going into that subject right now. It’s too much. Sensory overload. Can’t think about it right now.)

 

 

 

But for happy marriages they can sum their lives up in one big orgy, with whatever they want, S&M, Toga pary, wild strippers of all kinds, drunken debauchery Caligula style. Be creative. Let loose. Go crazy!

 

 

 

…

 

 

 

Creative outlet. Thank you. Hope you enjoyed. Was meant to be sardonic, funny and HUGE closure for me. For those I have offended, try to understand. This is how I get through life.

 

By thinking up wild things. No midgets were harmed in the writing of this post.

[Seraphim]

Stats are not half for first marriages. It is about 37%.

 

Been married to my true love for 24 years on the 30th.

[Blackey]

HAHA Kerryalex! thats a very funny and creative idea with some truth behind it :)

One of the greatest ways for outleting pain is by channeling it into creativity in any way or form!

You got great means to survive this brutal war called divorce!

Stay strong brother!

[boltnrun]

Polygamy isn't legal in Utah.

 

I wonder instead if we can ask for a refund on the expensive (always ugly) bridesmaids dress, the Instant Pot we gave them as a wedding gift, the hotel rooms and the bachlorette trip to Vegas.

[maew]

I wish I had saved up for my divorce the day I got married. I am absolutely having a divorce party once it's over and done with, and inviting all of my friends... believe me, they will be celebrating right along with me lol

[Trinity11]

Maybe couples should make themselves a hard times fund. A little each week, that in the event they feel like they need to create a spark, go on holiday or whatever, they have "counselling" money. Save the relationship before it snowballs into something people feel like they should give up on??

[Kerryalex]

Thanks for the info guys.

- So I will have to change my story as divorce rate is only 37% and polygamy is not legal in Utah.

I should have researched that more.

 

I also agree with Trinity about the hard times fund.

 

And I shall to have a party when my divorce goes final! Can't wait!!!

[Kerryalex]

HAHA Kerryalex!

You got great means to survive this brutal war called divorce!

Stay strong brother!

 

I'm a chick but hey brother's fine too 😁

Lol. Seriously. Thank you for the encouragement.

[HeartGoesOn]

Can you clarify what "Wove" means?

[boltnrun]

Can you clarify what "Wove" means?

 

I think she's saying "love" in a baby voice.

[Kerryalex]

"Mawwage... Wove twue wove"

is a line from "Princess Bride"

The priest had a lisp.

[sky09]

My vote goes to this thread being stickied lol I've thought of a divorce party (with rsvps and all) before as well. They say "happy wife - happy life", but I say "no wife - happy life".

[Wiseman2]

Real closure will come when the divorce is final and you don't have any reminder or interaction.

Going through a divorce. HUGE closure for me.