How do you make yourself feel better?

[catfeeder]

That is a good question! I have no idea. I used to talk myself into more stress but I learnt my way out of that. I should pay attention next time and learn some positive soothing self talk. I have a book I want to get (after I have read all my other books) called good mother messages. I believe it’s about learning to self talk in a way a good mother would have done to you as a child.

 

Good. Learning not to add more stress with your self talk is half way there, so instead of just neutralizing yourself, turn your critical voice into one of a comforting and inspiring coach. What would you want for your highest 'adult' intelligence to say to the 'child' part of you that's reacting to stressors?

 

There's a difference between reacting versus responding. Reactions are automatic while responses can be thought through and decided upon. So when you feel yourself reacting, recognize that your adult Self need not operate on emotions alone. You have a wealth of life experience that can the adult in you can use to coax, calm and motivate the child to 'see'. From there you can opt to aspire toward that vision.

 

Self talk is a habit, and like any other habit it can be changed by replacing it with more advantageous habits. While I understand the concept of trying to replace a 'mother's' voice, it kind of smacks of a need to rewire history from a resentful place. The message being, "I had a lousy mother, so I need this book..."

 

Adopting an inner coach can build the confidence that says, "I have untapped power that I'm capable of using..."

 

To each his own, but I just found the coach more inspiring than potentially contaminating the independent emotional charge behind my messages.

 

Head high, you're doing great.

[Wiseman2]

That's correct, a PO box is not a home address, but you can have whatever you want forwarded there.

I rung the DVLA to get details on where my postal address could be and it must be a home address. A PO box is not suitable.

[thornz]

That's correct, a PO box is not a home address, but you can have whatever you want forwarded there.

 

I’d rather put the cost of a P.O. Box and forwarding towards a better place to live if I was going to fork out extra. I’ve found somewhere that is £100 extra a month so that’s not a massive jump up. I’m keeping my options open and I informed the camera department of my work address like they advises when I rung them, so they can send the summons there.