Hollyj Posted March 12, 2018 Share Posted March 12, 2018 Dude, you supported this nonsense for three years. You need to aim much higher . Link to comment
shessofly Posted March 12, 2018 Share Posted March 12, 2018 I was thinking with my heart, not my head. That's all I can say. I think that dynamic is eventually what led to us becoming somewhat distant in the month preceeding the breakup. I honestly began to feel bitterness towards her, in that I was the one literally doing and being responsible for everything, and never felt any gratitude or the same sense of affection. For example, on the Valentines days we were together, I went literally all out for her, and she didn't do a thing for me, not even a card/letter; nothing. Birthdays, christmas, the same. It got to the point where I was frustrated, voiced to her my frustrations and asked that she do more to show me that she genuinely loves and cares about me, and about 3 weeks after that conversation I was told that she was leaving me for the new guy. No...you were thinking with your head - the wrong one. It takes more than a pretty face and a bangin body to make a guy or gal a "9 out of 10." I hope you understand that. This lady did not possess any characteristics that scream quality gf yet you took her in and funded her lifestyle for a number of years. No job, no friends, clingy, needy, insecure and looking to you for fulfill her happiness...? No sir, not a 9 beyond her looks (shallow). Given all that information I'd say she's with the guy that's more on her level and you really should leave this in your past and find a quality lady. Go a little deeper than the skin when rating someone's relationship worthiness. Link to comment
Ctk2014 Posted March 13, 2018 Author Share Posted March 13, 2018 No...you were thinking with your head - the wrong one. It takes more than a pretty face and a bangin body to make a guy or gal a "9 out of 10." I hope you understand that. This lady did not possess any characteristics that scream quality gf yet you took her in and funded her lifestyle for a number of years. No job, no friends, clingy, needy, insecure and looking to you for fulfill her happiness...? No sir, not a 9 beyond her looks (shallow). Given all that information I'd say she's with the guy that's more on her level and you really should leave this in your past and find a quality lady. Go a little deeper than the skin when rating someone's relationship worthiness. Indeed I did. Hindsight is 20/20. Just have to share this: This morning, she came back to my apartment complex's office to sign the paperwork to officially get off the lease. I stopped in the office later this afternoon to sign the documents, and the apartment manager looked at me and said "you really used to date that girl? I don't even know her, but you're WAY better off without her". Apparently, she brought the new guy to the office with her. The manager said they looked like trash and were literally all but having sex in the waiting area. Said he was repulsed, and that I should never look back to that trash. Makes me feel better. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted March 13, 2018 Share Posted March 13, 2018 I think you should focus more on why you choose someone like this. it says a lot about you, and your self esteem. You never answered my question regarding her interacting with your colleagues , and their partners? There are so many great woman out there, I hope you don't pick another one like your ex, due to your own insecurities - having to support someone, so that they will stay with you. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted March 13, 2018 Share Posted March 13, 2018 But didn't you say you wanted a trophy wife? Link to comment
Ctk2014 Posted March 13, 2018 Author Share Posted March 13, 2018 But didn't you say you wanted a trophy wife? I did, and do, but I want trophy wife but not a child. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted March 13, 2018 Share Posted March 13, 2018 Why do you want a trophy wife? Link to comment
Ctk2014 Posted March 13, 2018 Author Share Posted March 13, 2018 But, in a more general sense, and back to the original topic, do relationships like my ex's normally last? Ones where they rocket forward at the speed of light...saying I love you, introducing to family members, leasing and moving into an apartment together, talking marriage...all within a few weeks of the beginning of a relationship? Link to comment
boltnrun Posted March 13, 2018 Share Posted March 13, 2018 My ex cheated and then left me for the girl he had been cheating with. Eight years later, they're still together.. Do you hope it's a rebound? Already answered your question. See above. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted March 13, 2018 Share Posted March 13, 2018 Why not answer my questions? I can't believe you would want her back. She is really bottom of the barrel. Have you considered counseling for low self worth? I would be curious as to your upbringing and attraction to these types of women. What is appealing about a trophy wife? Why don't you want an equal partner? Link to comment
Ctk2014 Posted March 13, 2018 Author Share Posted March 13, 2018 Why not answer my questions? I can't believe you would want her back. She is really bottom of the barrel. Have you considered counseling for low self worth? I would be curious as to your upbringing and attraction to these types of women. What is appealing about a trophy wife? Why don't you want an equal partner? I don't have low self worth, and I never said I want her back. I posed a question to get thoughts, not for someone to tell me I'm retarted, no offense. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted March 13, 2018 Share Posted March 13, 2018 I never said you were retarded. I believe you do have low self worth, why else would you need a trophy wife to make yourself feel more important. I agree with the other poster regarding your shallowness, as this woman has no redeeming qualities other than her appearance. I also believe you want a trophy wife, as it is someone that is dependent on you financially, and less likely to leave - didn't happen with this one though. In the end, she couldn't be bought. Nothing wrong with therapy. I would think it would be a good way to understand your choices in a partner. Why don't you answer my questions? Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted March 13, 2018 Share Posted March 13, 2018 No, her relationship with her new boyfriend probably won't last. But it won't matter because she'll have no problem finding some other sucker to latch onto. Link to comment
shessofly Posted March 13, 2018 Share Posted March 13, 2018 But, in a more general sense, and back to the original topic, do relationships like my ex's normally last? Ones where they rocket forward at the speed of light...saying I love you, introducing to family members, leasing and moving into an apartment together, talking marriage...all within a few weeks of the beginning of a relationship? They can. My ex is going on 5 years with the lady he immediately hooked up with. Their relationship went from 0 to 100 within weeks. They got pregnant within 6 months of dating, moved in with each other and the whole 9 (except marriage). I bumped into them the other day and low and behold - kid #2. So yes, it can happen but there's no way to tell who will make it and who won't. Thankfully I assumed it was permanent and stuck to the process of getting over him. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted March 13, 2018 Share Posted March 13, 2018 Men usually want trophy wives so they can show them off to their friends and coworkers. They think their friends will think "Man, ctk must be some kind of stud! Look at his hot young wife! And look at her $20,000 ring! Ctk must be hung AND loaded!!" They want their friends to envy them. And, OP, that is why it appears you have low self worth. A confident man wouldn't need to show off to the world. Topic? Maybe your ex got tired of feeling like an object that only existed to boost your ego and went with someone who wants her for her mind or her nature, not just her hotness. Link to comment
Ctk2014 Posted March 13, 2018 Author Share Posted March 13, 2018 Men usually want trophy wives so they can show them off to their friends and coworkers. They think their friends will think "Man, ctk must be some kind of stud! Look at his hot young wife! And look at her $20,000 ring! Ctk must be hung AND loaded!!" They want their friends to envy them. And, OP, that is why it appears you have low self worth. A confident man wouldn't need to show off to the world. Topic? Maybe your ex got tired of feeling like an object that only existed to boost your ego and went with someone who wants her for her mind or her nature, not just her hotness. Yes, she was a trophy and I liked that. I loved her too, so it wasn't just "showing her off to the world", but if I can have a gorgeous girlfriend, why not enjoy showing her off too? Nothing wrong with that. I heard this morning, without even asking, that the new relationship seems to be falling through, and looks like it might be over pretty soon. Apparently she's having regrets about the new guy, regretting doing all that she's done for him, and apparently he's bat s*** crazy (seeing people in the closet at night, etc). So, new relationship seems to be fading, we'll see if she tries to come back or not. Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted March 14, 2018 Share Posted March 14, 2018 Yes, she was a trophy and I liked that. I loved her too, so it wasn't just "showing her off to the world", but if I can have a gorgeous girlfriend, why not enjoy showing her off too? Nothing wrong with that. I heard this morning, without even asking, that the new relationship seems to be falling through, and looks like it might be over pretty soon. Apparently she's having regrets about the new guy, regretting doing all that she's done for him, and apparently he's bat s*** crazy (seeing people in the closet at night, etc). So, new relationship seems to be fading, we'll see if she tries to come back or not. Would you feel validated if she did? A woman like this isn't a catch. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted March 14, 2018 Share Posted March 14, 2018 Would you feel validated if she did? A woman like this isn't a catch. Yeah, but all his buddies would be jealous!!! And apparently that's important to the OP. Link to comment
.jpg.1626fbc48c04fd9021fd315819807524.thumb.jpg.882936eb5901fa05cf31c75617acde2e.jpg)
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.