sodramaticx Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 This guy and I were friends for 2 years, but during that time he would always make an excuse to distance himself saying he needed space and this always happened exactly when we were getting along really well. Then months and months later he'd always come back like nothing had happened. Last time he came back again after not talking to me for 5 months and we started hanging out again. This time when he said he wanted to distance himself I told him he had to do it to my face and he took me out to eat. Then at the end of the night he kissed me and said he wanted to try us dating. Then I had a day off work and I stayed home, he didn't ask me to be with him and I didn't either. Except that night he freaked out saying how if I really liked him I would have chosen to spend time with him on my day off. Now he says we're just too different and won't talk to me. I really can't understand why anyone would be like this, if you like someone you don't keep distancing yourself over petty things, right? I just can't understand his mentality. I don't know what to do anymore Link to comment
thealchemist Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 He has no idea what he wants so trying to understand his motives is useless. Unless you want to be his plaything whenever he gets bored I would distance myself from him. Link to comment
DaisyMayPorter Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 Yikes, I’m sorry to hear this. He freaked out over you not spending the day off together when he didn’t even mention it beforehand? Yikes. Why was he distancing himself from your friendship? It sounds like he likes you, but then he can’t handle it. Very immature. Not good for you. I hope you are dating others as well cause this guy sounds like he would be a lot of work, and You deserve better than a guessing game. Link to comment
SweetGirl28 Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 Sounds like he likes you when it's convenient for him, or he's bored. Let go of him. He's not even being a friend to you. Link to comment
ShatteredMan Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 He's trying to figure out if he can use you as a "Plan B" while setting his sights on someone else. Walk on. Link to comment
sodramaticx Posted February 20, 2018 Author Share Posted February 20, 2018 He keeps telling me he has trust issues and needs to deal with them, which would make sense if he hadn't been saying it for 2 years. Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 . I really can't understand why anyone would be like this, if you like someone you don't keep distancing yourself over petty things, right? I just can't understand his mentality. Because the boy has issues. There is nothing to understand. He has something going on that prevents him from being in a relationship. That's all you need to know. Period. He runs away because he has issues and returns because you allow it. . just to do it all over again. Link to comment
katrina1980 Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 He keeps telling me he has trust issues and needs to deal with them, which would make sense if he hadn't been saying it for 2 years. I know it's confusing but as reinvent said, the "boy has issues." One thing I have learned throughout the years is that many people do - trust issues, relationship issues, commitment issues, intimacy issues, sexual issues, all sorts of fears and phobias that prevent them doing lots of things they might otherwise have a genuine desire to do. There are also people who may pretend they have "issues" so as to play you, string you along, or whatever serves their purpose at that particular moment. Your job isn't to figure out their issues or fix their issues; your job is to pay attention to their actions and how they treat you, and if a man isn't treating you the way YOU want and need him to treat you, then you walk away and find another guy. There is a popular saying that is often expressed on these forums "we teach people how to treat us." By you allowing this man to waltz in and out of your life whenever it suits him, you're teaching him that his behavior is okay and acceptable to you, and, as such, he will continue the behavior. If you're not okay with it (which you really shouldn't be if you respect and value yourself) then for heaven's sake, stop allowing it! It's YOUR call to make. It really is that simple. Link to comment
sodramaticx Posted February 21, 2018 Author Share Posted February 21, 2018 This is very true, this whole time I let it go because we were really just friends and if a friends needs space who am I to say no. But this time he crossed the line and I don't think I can ever pretend that it didn't happen. I wish we could be friends one day but the truth is I can't even picture that happening, it's just sad. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 "People" don't play push and pull games like this guy, nutcases do. Go no contact for good and delete and block him so you can experience normal guys who don't play games.He keeps telling me he has trust issues and needs to deal with them, which would make sense if he hadn't been saying it for 2 years. Link to comment
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