My boyfriend ignoring me

[Bowandhat]

But I wanna know why his doing it again and I hoped that maybe someone else whose kinda like him could explain why they would do this to someone. But I think I know the answer and I just dont want to face it.

[katrina1980]

But I wanna know why his doing it again and I hoped that maybe someone else whose kinda like him could explain why they would do this to someone. But I think I know the answer and I just dont want to face it.

 

Have you asked him?

 

I'd start there.

[ThatwasThen]

But I wanna know why his doing it again and I hoped that maybe someone else whose kinda like him could explain why they would do this to someone. But I think I know the answer and I just dont want to face it.

Well, it's pretty sociopathic that he'd be doing this when you're in the middle of your exams and needing to study.

 

I think you'd do well to just message him that you're breaking up with him for good this time and then do your best to forget about him. If YOU end it then at least you'll have given yourself closure. He's immature and he really should quit trying to form anything serious with anyone when all he wants is to be casual and indifferent.

 

I'm sorry you've found yourself with such a turd.

[DaisyMayPorter]

Stop contacting him completely. Not just today, but tomorrow and the next day and the day after. Don’t look at his Facebook messages. He knows you are trying to reach him. He hopefully will come around in a day or so. Just stop contacting him.

[SweetGirl28]

I know it hurts you to not hear from him. Try to focus on your studies.

He will be in contact again I'm sure. Then directly ask him why.

Maybe he was being lazy not replying and as the msgs kept coming, he got annoyed.

No one knows why , but him.

[ThatwasThen]

First red flag: "I'm not ready to be in anything serious"

Second red flag: Ignoring you for days and not responding to messages he's clearly read.

 

I don't know about anyone else but if at the four month mark someone isn't displaying a need to be nice to me then I need to be gone from them.

 

It takes two secs to say, "I'm here, I'll be in contact with you soon, just doing ____"

 

It may hurt like hell but I'd be giving myself the closure and him the e-finger.

[DaisyMayPorter]

It takes two secs to say, "I'm here, I'll be in contact with you soon, just doing ____".

 

I agree! That’s why I think she should stop contacting him. He’s completely disrespecting her.

[SweetGirl28]

First red flag: "I'm not ready to be in anything serious"

Second red flag: Ignoring you for days and not responding to messages he's clearly read.

 

I don't know about anyone else but if at the four month mark someone isn't displaying a need to be nice to me then I need to be gone from them.

 

It takes two secs to say, "I'm here, I'll be in contact with you soon, just doing ____"

 

It may hurt like hell but I'd be giving myself the closure and him the e-finger.

 

This cutie I'm into has not replied to my last msg for an hour now! Lol

And he disappears mid conversation . Yet he initiates all the conversations. Go figure lol

I'm not sweating it, and OP, try not to either. You really need to focus on your studies. Do not let this affect your progress with school. He's choosing to ignore and it's not nice, but some guys just take the easy road away and think nothing of it, unfortunately.

[katrina1980]

How long have you two been dating? Particularly if it's only been a few months, I probably wouldn't even ask if anything is wrong. Him telling you that he's tired and wants to go to bed, only to go play his video game, sounds a lot like he doesn't feel like he can simply have time to himself or not worry about giving you attention. And if you're the type to log on to check if he is in fact asleep has me thinking he's probably justified in thinking so. Don't put him in a position where something needs to be wrong for him to not chat over SMS during a workday.

 

I am going to have to echo what j.man said, all of it but especially the bolded

 

Also you said he's done this before, before your second date? Okay that was four months ago.

I agree ignoring is rude, but why not just talk to him about it? Let him know that a simple "babe I'm in the middle of something, get back to you later" is all you need.

 

If you feel he treats you well aside for this, then seriously, just talk to him.

 

You don't have be hardnosed or demanding about it, just tell him what you need, calmly and rationally.

 

Communication is key! Learning that myself actually.

 

Are you familiar with the John Gray Mars/Venus series of books and articles? Men pull away sometimes, try to not take it personally.

 

I know easier said than done sometimes but chasing a guy when he's needing lone time (caving), never turns out well.

 

I do agree ignoring you is rude though, so just talk to him. And try to limit your texting also, send one and then wait for him to respond.

[katrina1980]

OP, my boyfriend needs space/lone time sometimes, which I can instinctively sense and I leave him alone.

 

How do I sense it? I will send him a text or email and he will take longer than usual to respond.

 

That is my cue to back off, leave him alone for a bit.

 

Hours later he will respond and everything is fine!

 

He's also told me how much he appreciates my leaving him alone too.

 

He's had women continue to text and it annoys him to no end.

 

He eventually ended it with these women.

[j.man]

Some of you would be absolutely triggered if you saw the SMS ratio between my lady and myself. Just because I don't respond doesn't mean I ignored her. It's a completely different split of concentration to skim a message than it is to respond. Maybe not for everyone, but definitely me. And if I'm going to get crucified for bothering to check if it's an urgent matter that requires a response and then not doing so because it doesn't, you better believe actual ignoring comes next. And, I mean, there are only so many hours in a day. I don't know just how much you can "spread out" 8 consecutive texts.

 

Now I can't speak to whether this guy's a Georgia peach otherwise, but I can see an understandable, even if not ideal, reaction in asserting ones own space.