MooseMoosen Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 I have been dating a guy for almost 4 years. He was preparing for proposal and then I told him I wasn't ready. I love him but I know I am not ready for it. One reason is that I have a massive fear of being cheated on. I am not even sure if it's because of him, my father (who cheated on my mom) or just because I am a broken person who cannot trust a man. Whenever he goes out, I get very uncomfortable... To a point that is embaressing to think about. I won't even pretend at this point... But I can't control the feelings I have. Sure, I could pretend I am 100% okay. He could easily not know, but that doesn't change that him going into a position where he could cheat ruins my days or nights. It'a gotten to a point where he has said it is okay for me to tell him not to go somewhere without me. But, I can't see myself doing that. It seems controlling. And if I am with someone, why would I control them? He is going on vacation to a tropical location where he is for sure going to be around hundreds on singles who are drunk and barely clothed... he may even be one of those people. And I can't even stand that IDEA. I've told him how I feel because I am tired of pretending to be okay about these things. Breaking up isn't an option, I've tried, for him. But he won't let me. And trust me when I say that. I am in a loss in what to do. I want to allow him freedom but I just can't. I don't know how to operate like this. I have thought about seeing a counselor but I feel like they would just tell me the same things that I know. "Just hide your phone" "Have a ladies night" "Get a new hobby" Remember that you trust him" "Cheaters will cheat regardless of location" None of those give me peace. I know a lot of people will judge me, I have judged myself on this too... But if anyone has overcome any type of feeling like this, please help me out. Sorry if this was all over the place, my mind has been going in circles. Link to comment
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