Please help - 3rd date went from wonderful into a nightmare

[boltnrun]

I tell myself "This is a reaction to stress I've created in my mind and has no basis in reality".

 

I'll also tell myself "This is an intrusive thought and is not real".

 

Can you try that? Because your "symptoms" have nothing at all to do with herpes.

[fwdthinker]

Check out the work of Dr. Sarno on YouTube and his excellent audiobooks. Also you my have a lot of grief you are carrying around that needs to be released. Try Brad Yates/EFT. And finally look up "The Anxiety Guy" on YouTube. Each of the resources deal directly with anxiety and its physical effects and ways to naturally treat it. Best wishes!

[Silverbirch]

I'm so glad to read you are improving. I definitely agree you should go to doctor to get the tingling checked.

[aroud]

Hey so I thought I would check in.

 

Been doing a lot of exercise this weekend as it's good for stress and anxiety and neuropathy included. Which itself has been less this weekend although is still happening around my body. Mostly hands and feet but going up my legs still. My basic plan is to nail exercise to see if that helps.

 

Tomorrow I have my test. My mind doesn't know what to do apart from robotically go for the test. I'm going to get tested for everything may as well. The doctor said 50 percent accuracy so we will see. I should get the results on Wednesday or Thursday.

 

I am so busy at work that it takes my mind off things. This week is a tough one work wise so it will be one day at a time. With the exercise I figure I have tried to give myself the best chance mentally this week.

 

I have not broken down and cried for 7 days now. My mind must be adapting or something. It is hard to say, but I'm coping better. Still just as alone but coping better. Not found a counselor yet but will give that another go this week. Not as easy as I thought but I think I need the help.

[Silverbirch]

Good luck with your tests. Let us know how it goes. You are seeming so. Much Better!

[aroud]

Good luck with your tests. Let us know how it goes. You are seeming so. Much Better!

 

No test results yet. Tomorrow very likely I will get them. This afternoon I got a missed call and checked the voicemail, worried it might be them calling me to tell me bad news. Didn't help that it was the doctor for the neuropathy checking we're still on for the consultation. As I checked the voicemail I had massive rush of adrenaline and panic. Horrible. But it was not the results.

 

I'm getting my head down working to make the days pass quickly. The intense exercise I did at the weekend, or something else, really zapped the neuropathy for 2 days. Its returned a bit today, not that bad tonight, but Monday and Tuesday there was nothing basically.

 

So I'm doing okay I think. My mind is saying "carry on as if you're okay until someone says you're not", which kinda makes sense. I'm not sure I can do that, but maybe I will try. I'm trying to get back to normal anyway.

[aroud]

I got my test results.

 

However HPV type 16 showed up. I had a full test including for this in December, so the source could either be the person I last slept with a few weeks back, or actually could be my ex wife. She had HPV (not sure which type) and from what I can read it can just lay dormant for ages until you know you've got it.

 

http://www.mhs.hk/web/en/service.php?Cat1=SexualTransmittedDiseases&Cat2=115&Cat3=194

 

:(

 

My head is a bit all over the place to be honest. Reading up on another STI now. Going to see the doctor in the morning. Internetting might not help.

[Silverbirch]

I don't know a real lot about the HPV BUT I'm fairly certain that a high percentage of baby boomers had it. Of course there wssbtcthe immunisation. My understanding is that it MAY Put a woman at higher risk of developing cervical cancer, and that's all I know really.

[SweetGirl28]

In all honesty since your wife had HPV, you probably picked it up from her, or could have even been prior to her, not the most recent woman, as you were using protection.

Women most often realize they have it when they find warts on their vagina. If you pour vinegar on them, they will turn white. The warts look like cauliflower, literally. Grow in clumps. Anyway, she probably had them, and got them frozen off, and maybe never had an outbreak again, but HPV is a virus, so it remains even when no symptoms are apparent.

That's a reason for women to get PAP smears to test for cancers. Lots of people carry it, and never show signs.

It hasn't had an effect on you thus far, so try not to worry about this too much. The possibility of cancer is scary, but your chances of developing a cancer are not high , being male. It's good this happened with the HSV scare, and you got tested, because now you know what you carry. And you can be proactive about your health. So try to see some positive here.

[aroud]

In all honesty since your wife had HPV, you probably picked it up from her, or could have even been prior to her, not the most recent woman, as you were using protection.

Women most often realize they have it when they find warts on their vagina. If you pour vinegar on them, they will turn white. The warts look like cauliflower, literally. Grow in clumps. Anyway, she probably had them, and got them frozen off, and maybe never had an outbreak again, but HPV is a virus, so it remains even when no symptoms are apparent.

That's a reason for women to get PAP smears to test for cancers. Lots of people carry it, and never show signs.

It hasn't had an effect on you thus far, so try not to worry about this too much. The possibility of cancer is scary, but your chances of developing a cancer are not high , being male. It's good this happened with the HSV scare, and you got tested, because now you know what you carry. And you can be proactive about your health. So try to see some positive here.

 

Yes, she did tell me about this and she had a history of scares from HPV. I didn't care to be honest at the time. She was open about it but it never crossed my mind that it was a problem since she said it doesn't affect men. That was about 8 years ago!

 

I don't know how big a deal this is compared to HSV, but from what I've read your body can fight it off. Since I probably got this several years ago there seems little point in freaking out. I'm going go see a GP tomorrow and specialist on Monday to see what can be done, but in the meantime lifestyle and diet helps.

[SweetGirl28]

Yes, she did tell me about this and she had a history of scares from HPV. I didn't care to be honest at the time. She was open about it but it never crossed my mind that it was a problem since she said it doesn't affect men. That was about 8 years ago!

 

I don't know how big a deal this is compared to HSV, but from what I've read your body can fight it off. Since I probably got this several years ago there seems little point in freaking out. I'm going go see a GP tomorrow and specialist on Monday to see what can be done, but in the meantime lifestyle and diet helps.

 

It can cause cancer so it is a big deal, but since you're a man your risk is not as high as if you were female.

I've seen men with penile warts in the clinic I worked at that contracted it when a women had an outbreak of them and some had no idea, they can be inside the vagina and not seen until the male contracts it. The ones that break out at the opening are easily detected. But anyway you never developed symptoms, but you carry the virus. Don't let it affect you unless you become symptomatic of cancer , which is low. HPV and HSV are both virus, not treatable with antibiotics.

We had people buy antibiotics off the internet trying to self treat lol. Nothing wrong with finding out you carry something, but trying to self medicate and educate is a bad idea, always. Only a doctor can diagnose and treat. You can't do anything except treat symptoms should they ever arise. But honestly don't worry about this. If anything you've learned to be cautious when it comes to sex, and you can educate yourself. This is the funny part of my ex and I being fwb, neither of us are quick to jump to new people. We both know we will have future partners tested, and ourselves, and end it if we do have sex elsewhere, but we know we are clean and there's comfort in that, albeit wrong lol. Just be safe, aware, and treat all new partners as if they have something, so that you stay protected, because in the heat of the moment most can all throw caution to the wind and then freak later. Best to always be protected. There's even dental dams for oral sex on women. They might get offended by it, idk, but bottom line we are all responsible and in charge of our own sexual health. Always do what's comfortable for you. Since you have anxiety, it's best to use as much protection as you can.

[aroud]

It can cause cancer so it is a big deal, but since you're a man your risk is not as high as if you were female.

I've seen men with penile warts in the clinic I worked at that contracted it when a women had an outbreak of them and some had no idea, they can be inside the vagina and not seen until the male contracts it. The ones that break out at the opening are easily detected. But anyway you never developed symptoms, but you carry the virus. Don't let it affect you unless you become symptomatic of cancer , which is low. HPV and HSV are both virus, not treatable with antibiotics.

We had people buy antibiotics off the internet trying to self treat lol. Nothing wrong with finding out you carry something, but trying to self medicate and educate is a bad idea, always. Only a doctor can diagnose and treat. You can't do anything except treat symptoms should they ever arise. But honestly don't worry about this. If anything you've learned to be cautious when it comes to sex, and you can educate yourself. This is the funny part of my ex and I being fwb, neither of us are quick to jump to new people. We both know we will have future partners tested, and ourselves, and end it if we do have sex elsewhere, but we know we are clean and there's comfort in that, albeit wrong lol. Just be safe, aware, and treat all new partners as if they have something, so that you stay protected, because in the heat of the moment most can all throw caution to the wind and then freak later. Best to always be protected. There's even dental dams for oral sex on women. They might get offended by it, idk, but bottom line we are all responsible and in charge of our own sexual health. Always do what's comfortable for you. Since you have anxiety, it's best to use as much protection as you can.

 

I called the clinic immediately and they have a vaccine available to help my body beat it. No cure as such - you have to let the body do that. 8 months to 2 years to clear it, but we will see. In any case it resulted in some message exchanges with my ex wife, and she confirmed from her last smear (having had the vaccine 2+ years ago) that it's gone. She had quite a few scares a long time ago.

 

I'm trusting the doctors and the tests 100% on this. Internetting brings up a real mix of theories that cannot be relied upon.