Hockey94 Posted January 23, 2018 Share Posted January 23, 2018 My girlfriend sent me this text 3 weeks ago and her grandmother passed away 2 weeks ago and I gave her nothing but my love and support through it. We’re in a long distance relationship right now. “I thought about what you said earlier and I still think the same. I need to be there for my family right now and I can’t do both. I have been snappy at you and everyone else and It’s not fair on you and it’s not fair on me or them. We’ve barely spoken in the last few days. And you will always mean the world to me. I just can’t do this right now. I’ll always be here for you and you are the most amazing person who deserves someone who can give you all the time and attention you deserve and that person can’t be me. Thank you for everything you’ve done for me and I’ve had the most amazing times with you, but I need to work on myself and my family’s happiness right now before I can make anyone else happy. It’s making us both stressed and anxious and it’s not good and I think deep down you know it.” I tried explaining how we ended up 3 weeks ago was unacceptable and there needs to be second chances and forgiveness and if we can talk on the phone etc. (It was much longer just tried to Summerize it) anyway she was being very on the edge today looking to attack at anything and I don’t know why she has to act like this. I absolutely did nothing to her and I said I’m sorry for everything before if I caused anything. But she was persistent today in acting childish saying things like how I’m Patrizonzing her or I never asked you to be still here, and just in general her having an issue over nothing. I tried to explain as loving as possible no matter how childish she was being today and she hasn’t answered my last text yet asking for a call and how I still have a plane ticket to see her in February that she previously knew about, as I asked her if she wants to me as I woukslike to see her. I asked my friends why she’s acting Like this, she sounds guilty or is angry about something? We still share her Netflix account she hasn’t changed the password nor block me on anything on social media.. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted January 23, 2018 Share Posted January 23, 2018 I'm sorry. Some people handle grief better than others. Your gf does not handle it well. I think that you need cut contact. She needs time on her own. If she contacts and states she wants a friendship, tell her it would be too difficult for you - she can't have the benefit of you, without the relationship. How long have you been long distance? Have you considered something local? Link to comment
Hockey94 Posted January 23, 2018 Author Share Posted January 23, 2018 She’s being very stand off towards me and acting reasonable towards me. I offered my love and support through everything and I offered to fly there to support her she said she needed to do handle this alone. Anyway I gave her time and contacted and I was trying my best to make her understand in the best way possible and she kept nit picking everything... yeah I had my faults I was a little insecure at times and caused anxiety for both of us only because her communication was getting worse 1-3 messages a day. She was supposed to come for Christmas and was ready to go and then she had to fight with self to stay with her family because of her grandmother and I understood but then it started all these issues her thinking she ruined everything my Christmas etc... and I made it clear do not worry anyway one thing led to another and she sent me that text 3 weeks ago.. I want to try calling her tomorrow and if she doesn’t answer I want to leave a voice mail because I have a flight I booked before in December to go see her in February 22 and she hasn’t answered me about it.. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted January 23, 2018 Share Posted January 23, 2018 NO! You are not listening to her! Do not call her! Back off! Respect her request, or you she will be done. I know that I would. You sound like a great guy. How long have you been dating? How long have you been long distance?????? Link to comment
Hockey94 Posted January 23, 2018 Author Share Posted January 23, 2018 I just want to call her once tomorrow... I love her more than anything... it’s absolutely killing me she’s being unreasonable.. I don’t even understand how we’re in this spot right now.. we met on vacation we been back and forth a few times she met my family and friends everything was going well... and it’s been 5 months. We moved a little to fast but the words she said and myself we were both committed. She just sounds like her decision is made judging by her really childish responses to my very understanding texts.. I don’t know why we can’t just talk on the phone.. i made a mistake this happened Sunday. I didn’t hear from her today. But I need to know if I need to cancel my ticket I pre planned already or if I still go. Because she won’t answer that question..... Link to comment
Hollyj Posted January 23, 2018 Share Posted January 23, 2018 Because she said she does not want to. You are being very disrespectful for contacting her. Good luck. Link to comment
Hockey94 Posted January 23, 2018 Author Share Posted January 23, 2018 I just find it weird why she hasn’t blocked me or anything or change the Netflix password... Link to comment
Hollyj Posted January 23, 2018 Share Posted January 23, 2018 I just find it weird why she hasn’t blocked me or anything or change the Netflix password... “I thought about what you said earlier and I still think the same. I need to be there for my family right now and I can’t do both. I have been snappy at you and everyone else and It’s not fair on you and it’s not fair on me or them. We’ve barely spoken in the last few days. And you will always mean the world to me. I just can’t do this right now. I’ll always be here for you and you are the most amazing person who deserves someone who can give you all the time and attention you deserve and that person can’t be me. Thank you for everything you’ve done for me and I’ve had the most amazing times with you, but I need to work on myself and my family’s happiness right now before I can make anyone else happy. It’s making us both stressed and anxious and it’s not good and I think deep down you know it.” Perhaps, she thinks you will listen to, and respect what she said. Unfortunately, it is not looking that way. Dude, if you want to really screw this up, then reach out to her. Give her some time (a few months), if you don;t hear from her, then you move on. This is another example why LDR do not work. I reread her message. She is done with the relationship. Sorry. Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted January 23, 2018 Share Posted January 23, 2018 She isn't your girlfriend anymore, OP. That was a break-up message. Link to comment
Sportster2005 Posted January 23, 2018 Share Posted January 23, 2018 She's done with you. Accept it and move on. You're just annoying her now. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted January 23, 2018 Share Posted January 23, 2018 Sorry to hear this. She tried in the most diplomatic way to end it civilly with you and you continue to badger her calling her "childish"? Save your dignity and stop contacting her. Not blocking you yet just means she's too busy but that will come.But she was persistent today in acting childish saying things like how I’m Patrizonzing her or I never asked you to be still here, and just in general her having an issue over nothing. I tried to explain as loving as possible no matter how childish she was being today and she hasn’t answered my last text yet asking for a call Link to comment
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