What does my ex want from me?

[Dgrainer]

So i dated this girl for just about three months before she suggested we just be friends because i had become more distant and stopped giving her the attention she deserved due to going through the death of a family member and not processing it in the right way along with some other family stuff. After we broke up we didn't speak for about a month before she texted me and then we had been talking on and off for about a month and a half when i finally decided to ask if she was interested in trying again as the issues for the breakup had been resolved (there were some other minor things) and she had been acting pretty flirty while we were talking. But she told me that she didnt think a relationship would work again but i was still important to her. It wasnt really what i wanted to hear as i still had feelings for her since we broke up but it seemed like she was pretty clear she didn't have any romantic feelings left so i decided to try and move on which i couldnt do if we were talking everyday so i slowly stopped talking to her but she would still keep reaching out being flirty then when i would answer she would go cold with one word answers so i stopped completely about three weeks ago and we hadnt talked until today when she replied to a picture i put up simply pointing out the fact i was holding orange juice. Im just really confused because she made it pretty clear she didnt want to date again but then keeps acting flirty and after i thought we were done completely she messages me with no purpose out of nowhere?? Like is she just trying to mess with my head or make me jelous or something?

[DanZee]

No, I don't think she wants to date again. Most girls, when they break up with someone, will usually say that they want to remain friends. This is because women are nurturers and caregivers, and breaking up totally isn't really within their natures. They're taught to make friends and create social bonds and while their friends can move move closer or further away, the social bond usually remains.

 

I guess to translate what she's saying into man-speak: she doesn't want to be your girlfriend and you're doing the right thing in just going NC.

[Keyman]

Block her on everything and forget about her. Every time you get a comment or communication from her it is going to hold you back.

[SweetGirl28]

She wants attention from you. Just stop responding.

It's only an ego boost for her.

[Hollyj]

You cannot be friends, if there are feelings. Cut off contact.

[glitterfingers]

I don't see how her commenting on a picture that you're holding orange juice is flirtatious. Like there is literally no correlation between orange juice and "I want to get in your pants". Doesn't surprise me though, I've had guys accuse me of flirting for simply starting a conversation or asking them a question...ridiculous. The woes of being female

 

I think you may be reading into things hoping she is still interested. Believe what she's told you. You guys didn't work out, sometimes it's due to incompatibility and sometimes life gets in the way and people just drift apart. It sucks, yeah. But life goes on and you'll meet someone new. She may already have met someone new.

 

Either way, she's not flirting with you. It's up to you how you handle this, but if you're so caught up on it that it's upsetting you like this, you might want to either go NC or unfriend/block her (I think blocking her is a bit mean, but it's totally up to you)

[Dgrainer]

Just to clarify the orange juice comment wasn't what i meant by flirting. When we would talk it would usually be on snapchat and she would send pictures of her in certain outfits or posses she knows i find very attractive on her because i told her specifically that i liked the way she looked in that stuff / that way when we were dating. Also she would comment on photos specifically on me looking good in them. I still could be reading into it but just from knowing her and how she flirts im pretty confident in saying she was flirting.

[Hollyj]

So what. She is flirting. That doesn't mean she wants a relationship with you.

[glitterfingers]

Just to clarify the orange juice comment wasn't what i meant by flirting. When we would talk it would usually be on snapchat and she would send pictures of her in certain outfits or posses she knows i find very attractive on her because i told her specifically that i liked the way she looked in that stuff / that way when we were dating. Also she would comment on photos specifically on me looking good in them. I still could be reading into it but just from knowing her and how she flirts im pretty confident in saying she was flirting.

 

This reminds me of that Charlie Puth song "Attention"

[Giblesp]

She 'wants you but doesn't want you.' This is what her behavior suggests.

 

You tell her you want her, you want to make an effort to learn from any mistakes made. But your not interested in freindship or anything else. She can let you know if she feels the same way.

 

Then disappear forever if necessary. This is the only way.

[No1]

She is an X, which means you are not obligated to give her the time of day if you don't want to. It also means you don't have to answer her calls, texts, respond, flirt, message, email or see. And you don't even have to be her friend.

 

This is not complicated. What is it you want?

If you want her, then go for it and see what happens. You might get hurt, you might not. But that is the chance you take. Or

You tell her that this is not going to work and you ask her to leave you alone. Remove her from your physical and social life and move on.

 

You confuse yourself by not deciding and by not deciding only confuses you more. Its Paralyzation by over analyzation. The more you think the more you are stuck. Decide what you want, then take that path