Miscommunication or Something

[DaisyMayPorter]

This guy friend texts me on Friday a bunch of times, then in the middle of the text exchange tells me he has a story to tell me about something that happened with people we know, a funny work story. So I text him back and say you’ll need to tell me the story, “call me this weekend.” I said that because I want him to call more instead of texting. He says “yes we should chat this weekend.” And the weekend comes and goes, and neither of us reached out to call. (Although this is still the weekend for me since I have the holiday off) Shouldn’t he have picked up the phone to call or was he hoping I did? Ugh, I really hate bad and miscommunication.

[ThatwasThen]

You told him to call you this weekend and he didn't. Those are actions telling you to stop talking to him altogether... or, at the very least ask him to call you then and there and if he doesn't then block and delete him.

 

What do you want with this guy who is a flake? More then friends or something?

[DaisyMayPorter]

Yes I would like to be more than friends with him. We’ve been friends for years, used to work together until recently. He been initiating and keeping in contact pretty often the last few months since I left our place of work, thinking that maybe he was ready to make a move since we no longer work together. Then he acts flaky by not calling. :-(

[boltnrun]

So...why don't you ask him out for coffee or lunch?

[ControlDenied]

Be blunt to him. Guys sometimes don’t get it. Text him something like this... “Hey my phone is programmed to delete flaky contacts and you are in the recycle bin...”

[ThatwasThen]

I don't know about him but ^ that would just confuse me. Just call him and if it goes to voice mail then tell him to call you. If he doesn't then write him off altogether because he's clearly not interested in taking your 'relationship' past the odd text.

[DaisyMayPorter]

Be blunt to him. Guys sometimes don’t get it. Text him something like this... “Hey my phone is programmed to delete flaky contacts and you are in the recycle bin...”

 

Ha! Yes I would love to call out his flakiness because he can be flaky sometimes. However I'm not sure he'd understand the above statement either because I don't think he knows he's flaky, but I will have to figure out something clever to say!

[DaisyMayPorter]

So...why don't you ask him out for coffee or lunch?

 

Good idea, I will try that. Someone has to do the asking I guess.

[James516]

I've read both of your threads about this and am confused. You said you've been friends with him for years, worked together, and now that you no longer work together, you seem to have an expectation that it may lead to dating. There is nothing that you have said that indicates he is aware of that expectation. He is behaving as friend such as when having some down time, then he sends some texts, no phone call follow-up, no attempt for just the two of you to meet, etc.

 

If he was a guy that you just met, then you can play the passive wait-until-he-initiates-to-show-interest game. In this case, when you do that, you appear as continuing the friendship. Communication is two-way and straightforward communication solves most mysteries. Try a text such as "These texts are fun, we talk well, it would be great if we had more time. How about meeting at _____ ."

[DaisyMayPorter]

Thank you James, I think I will ask him!

[Sportster2005]

This guy friend texts me on Friday a bunch of times, then in the middle of the text exchange tells me he has a story to tell me about something that happened with people we know, a funny work story. So I text him back and say you’ll need to tell me the story, “call me this weekend.” I said that because I want him to call more instead of texting. He says “yes we should chat this weekend.” And the weekend comes and goes, and neither of us reached out to call. (Although this is still the weekend for me since I have the holiday off) Shouldn’t he have picked up the phone to call or was he hoping I did? Ugh, I really hate bad and miscommunication.

 

To end, or lessen miscommunication, communicate more clearly.

 

Instead of "call me sometime this weekend", setup a definitive time. This isn't only clearer and less ambiguous it helps you determine his interest. If he is interested he will gladly agree to a specific time. If he remains vague and leaves it open and ambiguous, he's likely not very interested.

[DaisyMayPorter]

Thanks Sportster. Actually I remember a few weeks ago he wanted to call me and because we’re both so busy he set up a time, I remember he said, “are you available at 9:00pm?” I thought it was kind of sweet that he wanted to set up a time. So maybe I’m the ambiguous one and I need to be clearer, not him!