How to stop feeling guilty

[caroline98]

I've been dating my boyfriend for a while now. I love him so much and I think we have a very strong and healthy relationship. Recently though, I've been having a terrible thought about when we first started dating.

Before I met him, I was used to very casual dating and kind of "talking" to many different people at a time. So when I met him, that lifestyle just continued. Once I realized we were getting serious, telling my parents about him etc, I completely stopped and only focused on him, leaving us where we are today. One thing that's eating me up inside is what I did when we were first "seeing" each other I guess. I don't want to be too specific, but basically it involved a picture and money. Looking back I feel so disgusted with myself, and if he knew, he would be disgusted too I'm sure. I just feel so terrible. For a while I was able to look back at it as a mistake and know I would never do anything like it again, but recently it's been popping into my head and I keep obsessively thinking about it, unable to forgive myself. I'm a total wreck, I keep crying about it, shaking, having fast heart beat, unable to concentrate...

What should I do?

[SweetGirl28]

You need to forgive yourself.

No one reveals all the skeletons in their closet.

You were just starting to see one another.

I'm assuming you sold a sexual pic for money, or had a pic taken by someone in exchange for money.

Not the greatest idea, but hey, you feel guilty, that's enough punishment.

As long as you stopped and have changed your behavior now that you are committed, I'd let it go.

[catfeeder]

Once I realized we were getting serious, telling my parents about him etc, I completely stopped and only focused on him, leaving us where we are today.

 

This is appropriate, and anything before it falls outside the scope of the relationship. Are you jinning up something to cause drama for yourself, or are you afraid of a pic of you popping up somewhere?

[caroline98]

This is appropriate, and anything before it falls outside the scope of the relationship. Are you jinning up something to cause drama for yourself, or are you afraid of a pic of you popping up somewhere?

 

I have a bad habit of having a bad thought pop into my head, and not being able to get rid of it (I have an anxiety disorder). Could be that my brain is "bored", therefore causing unnecessary drama for myself, you're right.

[Wiseman2]

You made a mistake in the past, who hasn't? This has nothing to do with him and there is no reason to burden him with this. Just move forward and enjoy the future.

basically it involved a picture and money. Looking back I feel so disgusted with myself