Ex Girlfriend has completely blocked me

[ahmedk]

Hi

 

I am having a tough time coping up with my emotions and filled with guilt.Me and my ex broke up 4 months ago and it turned out to be a very bad break up. She caught a text in my phone sent to a girl in May which had some illicit conversations. She caught the text in August end and broke up with me straightaway. What happened post break up was even worse. We stayed in touch on and off and just didn't go into no contact. Slowly she started demeaning me and kept on playing hot and cold, then finally after two months she stopped talking nd joined Tinder for distraction. I clearly was not over this and became desperate and a bit crazy. I logged into her social media profiles to check who is she talking to and she caught me . Then she said hurtful things like "I am so glad I didn't reconcile with you! And is this how you were planning to win me back? I regret even talking to you for the first time" and then threatened to take action if I do this again. She then blocked me from everywhere and told me she never wants to see me or talk to me again. She texted my brother and asked him to reason out with me. Now I know that I did everything out of emotions and insecurity but I also know that didn't want to intentionally hurt her. I am sad because I have lost every possibility to win her back and far from even getting back on talking terms. I apologised to her through emails but doesn't matter. How do I change her opinion about me and make her stop hating me? How do I get back in touch with her and redeem things? She's probably distracted with another guy right now. It's just that I miss her companionship. Guys seeking your advice.

[RainyCoast]

You are concerned about changing her opinion about you, and winning her affections back

 

But not the last bit concerned about why you were messing with another girl when you "care" about this one.

 

She is upset by your persistance and rightfully put off by your behavior

 

You will get yourself reported.

 

You are being beyond selfish, leave her alone. It is none of your business if she is with a guy who isn't taking her for a fool, or alone, either way, she wants nothing to do with you.

 

If the idea of yourself as someone who needs to be redeemed is bothering you so much then rebuild your integrity by treating people with sincerity rather than using them to feel better about yourself.

[Keyman]

The girl broke up with you because you were sexting someone else and rightly so, now you are all boohoo I miss her? You stalked and broke her privacy by logging into her social media after the break up, now you want to redeem yourself and make it all go away.

 

My advice? Walk away and never speak to her again. And when you meet someone else, try not to cheat on them.

[MissCanuck]

OP, you have to leave her alone. You don't seem to grasp how unstable and entitled you sound, and how fed up she is with you. There is essentially zero probability for redemption here.

 

She threatened to take action if you don't stop. You would be wise to listen to her and believe that you will wind up in hot water if you continue.

 

You can't always get what you want. This is one of those times.

[SweetGirl28]

You have completely broken her trust in you, and honestly it's most likely not

something she will ever place in you again.

 

Leave her alone and learn from your mistakes, so as not to repeat this in your next relationship.

[zozolax]

Once a woman who truly cares about you finds something that breaks their heart there’s no longer going back. I’ve experienced this with my ex and to be honest I tried my hardest to let that go, I pray, joined dating apps for distraction, for something that made me realize he was the one and it was just a mistake and didn’t happen. So go NC with her but do send her flowers to let her know you still care. But don’t over do it just for Christmas if she wants to give u a chance fine. If not don’t even worry it was your loss you created that when you decided To text someone else. To you might be harmless, but to her ? Look what made her do.

[Juha]

You totally messed up and she does not trust you anymore. Why should she?

 

You need to leave her alone, let her live her life. What she does and who she is with is not your business at all anymore.

If you truly cared for this person how you say you do you never would have done what you did.

 

Learn from your poor behavior with this person and move on and hopefully you will appreciate the next good person you date.

 

Once trust is lost by a woman it's pretty much forever. If there is ever going to be a chance at anything again it will be totally up to her...

Now move on with your life and leave this person alone

[No1]

Could you be any more selfish? Have you even thought for one second how she feels? All you are doing is trying to 'win' her back and doing what you think you need to be doing. An empty apology, you trying to rationalize why you did what you did. Fact is, you were in a relationship, you thought you could get more, you got caught, she left and has now blocked you.

You made mistakes, we all do. What you must do is learn from this, but in no way you are going to correct it with your X. She has let you go. Let her go and don't make that same mistake again in your next relationship.

[ahmedk]

Guys I really appreciate your advice here even if it's something I don't want to hear but something I definitely need to. I made mistakes and ones that beyond repair . I lost my bestfriend and my companion and it's something that I really miss. Her absence in my life makes me realize how I could just go back in time and undo what I did. How I wish that I could just do everything to make her happy, well if not being in her life is what it takes then be it. I wish my urge to snoop into her life would have not made me do what I did and make everything worse. I am not this person and I never wanted to disappoint her , I really wish someday she remembers and the good times we had. We have mutual friends but I know that she does not want to see me anymore so I avoid joining their plans. I have told her that will never reach out to her ever and let her be happy as she deserves it but it's that presence of the person who knew you so well and with whom you could talk about anything, you miss that. I can't stop thinking about her....Every thought makes me feel sadder. I try hard to be happy but it's affected me deeply.

[ahmedk]

I was not used to having ideal relationships. I always used to feel that nothing will last. Permanency and love was something that I had not experienced in a while. Yes , I sexted but it was when I was not sure about our relationship, it was early days of it and I tried explaining that to her, does not justify my actions but I never made any mistake of such gravity during our relationship. We were very happy and we never fought really. I wanted that second chance and never got it, fine I do deserve not to get one but to a then for 2 months straight I made her realize how much I love her and she never considered it. I broke her heart and then became crazy. She knows how I am as a person and I hope she realizes how sorry I am and how much I miss her. I really do wish she's happy right now :) I know I did things out of selfishness but I am changing for the better. I wish someday she sees it in me.

[No1]

What I have learned is that it is very hard to correct a mistake with an X. Especially when the actions cause the termination of a relationship. Again, we all make mistakes in relationships and its what we do with that lesson that is important. Will your X ever forgive you? Who knows, in time I'm sure she will. I have forgiven Xs for cheating on me but doesn't mean I ever want them back. However, you have no control about when/if she forgives you or sees you in another light. Your actions will dictate how she sees you.

Let her go, learn from this

[Ziggy123]

I'm really sorry but I don't think she will come back. I have been where you are and it's a hard journey forwards. But it will get better in time and you will become a better and wiser person from this experience. You deserve to move on and forgive yourself. But she deserves to make her decision of whether to stay with you or not and she made her decision. There's nothing you can do. Sorry. I empathize with you though.

[MariaH1217]

She doesn’t trust you, and I hope you can see the reasons why. Just let her go. Trust is very hard to regain in these situations, so even if she came back the relationship would be doomed. Try to work on yourself so you never behave this way with anyone else. Good luck.

[lark265]

Try putting the shoe on the other foot. You are at the beginning of a promising relationship. Starting to trust each other. Then somehow you find an illicit text she has sent to some guy. I don't know how I would feel. A big part of me would feel like breaking up b/c that texting image would not leave my mind. She would PROMISE never to do it again but I don't know if I could trust her............what do you think?