Am I being paranoid?

[Cosytoes]

Hi!!

I put a post up the other day about the same guy but I’m having a little dilemma or I might just be paranoid. Any advice welcome.

 

I have been on 2 dates with this guy, we are both 29. We speak on the phone occasionally and a few odd messages. He kept telling me I was “out of his league” that I “look like a model” “too perfect”. I don’t like men saying this about me as it leads them to think I have no flaws and when they realise I do they start to change the way the see me. Anyway, we went in a first date, he was all over me like a hyper puppy lol! He kept smelling me too lol! He noticed he was being like this and calmed down. It was a good date, he made me laugh loads and I was happy to see him again. So we met up again he actually was supposed to be seeing his friend but said he wanted to see me instead as that was the only night I was free that week so he cancelled on his friend. I didn’t agree that he should have done that but thought wow he must like me. Anyway, we met he was a little off but he did say it was nothing to do with me. He held my hand and again was a bit like a hyper puppy once the date went on a bit. He again kept saying he loved my smell and kept hugging me. He also asked me if I would ever have his babies, I was shocked and hesitantly said “not right now but if we got married in the future then maybe”. His reply “yes in about 4 to 5 years, I would love to have babies with you”. I’m not sure if he was just joking or trying to see what I wanted? The next night he was out with friends drinking, I got a few messages in very slurred text that looked like he was telling me he “loved me” and “want your babies”. I just didn’t respond to them and brushed it off as he was really drunk. After that night he has been a little quite with me, not texting as much. I asked him if he wanted to meet up again so we arrange to meet up later in the week. I noticed though I am always the one making the plans though and asking him. He is being quiter with me and not asking me as many questions. Am I being paranoid or is he losing interest? I did ask him and he said no and he wants me but I don’t know.

I know that was long, thanks for reading 😊

[1a1a]

Looking for reciprocity never stops being a useful thing. What happens if you leave him to organise the next date?

 

What happens if you ask him to organise the next date? (Would be my plan because the unspoken waiting makes me anxious).

[Hollyj]

He sounds off.. You should see the mention of babies, love and stating you are out of his league, as red flags!

 

I would pass on this guy

 

In the future, organizing should be reciprocal. Are you settling due to loneliness?

[Cosytoes]

He sounds like a weirdo. You should see the mention of babies, love and stating you are out of his league, as red flags!

 

I would pass on this guy

 

In the future, organizing should be reciprocal. Are you settling due to loneliness?

 

Why would you say he’s a weirdo? I’m definitely not settling. I’ve turned away guys with less “craziness”.

[Hollyj]

I already stated why. Maybe, if he were 18, but 29 and he is saying these things.

 

Why do you date any "craziness?"

 

You have already posted two threads over some guy that you have gone out with two times. That is not good.

[MissCanuck]

I'm with Hollyj on this; bringing up babies and love at this point is a red flag.

 

I speak from experience. This is almost never a good sign, OP.

[greta96]

It is my experience that when they come off too strong in the beginning, it's usually a sign that trouble is coming. This type of guy will "hit it then quit it", that's how they operate. They will say all sorts of things to have you let your guard down and speed up the process of you trusting them, and once you do, you won't see them for the dust.

 

He called you "perfect" before you even met in person, if I understand it correctly. That's a red flag, you may be perfect indeed but how would he know at that point, without having interacted with you in person? Then the "having your babies" thing... this is not the way a guy who is interested in you for the long term will talk. Nor would he text you drunk and tell you he loved you, only 2 dates in. This is when he should be on his best behavior, and if this is his best behavior, it's not good.

 

Everything you said about this guy is a red flag to me. I don't know him so of course I may be wrong, but based on your post I would pass on this one.

[lostandhurt]

2 dates and he asks you about having his babies? I don't care of he was joking or not that is NOT 2nd date convo material with someone you barely know. The drunk love text is also a problem for me. This guy has poor impulse control acting like a puppy, hugging you, smelling you and then his choice of topics?

 

It sounds like he is working on you to keep chasing him and asking him for dates so it looks like he is doing you a favor by seeing you.

 

He may be socially awkward or just doesn't know how to act around a pretty woman but if he was that into you in person why on earth isn't he asking to see you as much as possible and leaving the planning up to you?

 

Something isn't right about this guy. Why don't you let him SHOW his interest with ACTIONS. Sit back and let him contact you, after all if he is really talking babies already he must really like you right?

 

Lost