Has she moved on?

[Loveyougirrl]

We were in love and really cared for each other. Everything felt perfect.

 

A sudden fight and she brought up an issue(family) close to my heart. In the heat of the moment, I said let's break up and she went home crying.

 

Next day I suggested we be friends. She said yes, though initially she was suggesting 2 months of no contact. Secretly I thought we’d sought things out and get back, but even I was unsure, so didn't mention that.

 

It's been 20 days since. And her silence has killed me.

 

After the first 4 days, when I thought I was okay breaking up with her, her silence started killing me. I thought I had hurt her really bad and now I silently wanted her to be back too. But I wasn't sure.

 

For days I tried contacting her (to apologize but wasnt getting a chance to), but she kept ignoring me. The only things she messaged were “I need space to heal, please leave me alone. I still think and speak highly of you”. I was like “I know, let's just talk once. I have only nice things to say. I wish you all the best. I want to express my feelings.” She kept ignoring.

 

I emailed a lot of good things, followed them up with an email 3 days later why she wouldn't even talk once after the breakup talk, and that it was really harsh given the connection I felt with her.

 

I commented on the Google photos album she had for us and said if she had moved on then just delete the album, so that I don't keep hanging on the edge as to what to expect. She ignored that too.

 

I started drinking with friends and the second week, ended up drunk texting her twice(mean things like if she ever loved me and how much I loved her and was ready to solve my family ). First time I apologized to her for my drunk texts, telling her that her silence was making me crazy. Second time, I just blocked her.

 

She started remaining online all day for the next 5 days(blocking her still showed me and her when we were online). She would like all my best-girl-friend’s posts. It started confusing me, because she never did that before.

 

Suddenly on the 6th day, she announced that next month she's going on a holiday abroad.

 

Last night, she deleted our Google photos album and hasn't been online since(after being online full day for consecutive 6 days).

 

Has she moved on or is just mad that I blocked her and didn't honor her space?

 

I just don't know, because she hasn't been communicating at all. I keep coming up with theories that maybe in her head.

 

I am going to be in no contact for the next 10 days, before I reach out to her again. I feel I have anyway pushed her a lot through one sided communication.

 

Should I just stop and move on? I feel ghosted.

[rosephase]

You haven't been ghosted. You broke up with her. She's been clear about what she needs and wants (space from you) and she is taking that space.

 

Don't break up with people you want to be with. Breaking up "in the heat of the moment" is a deep deep wound. That many relationships can not heal from. Be -very- careful when you choose to end a relationship. Make sure it's from the heart and not form heat. There is nothing to do at this point other than respecting her choices.

[Loveyougirrl]

I know. But I let her know the very next day that I did things in the heat of the moment. Her silence has been deafening. I have tried every thing to tell her that I still love her. She isn't responding at all.

Should I just keep waiting? Been 2 weeks of pure silence. I don't even know if she's fine, if she's seeing someone else, if she's happy with the break or if she's hurting.

[SweetGirl28]

I know. But I let her know the very next day that I did things in the heat of the moment. Her silence has been deafening. I have tried every thing to tell her that I still love her. She isn't responding at all.

Should I just keep waiting? Been 2 weeks of pure silence. I don't even know if she's fine, if she's seeing someone else, if she's happy with the break or if she's hurting.

 

You broke up with her in anger, then suggested to be friends.

You know what that screams to a girl? "I want to go mess around" . Literally.

Breaking up and getting handed the lets be friends line makes our antennae go up.

I know you said she agreed, most of us do. Until we actually think about it.

Then we realize it's pretty darn near impossible in a fresh breakup.

 

Anyway, you need to respect her wishes for space. If you contact her again, she sill only be annoyed.

You need to let the bad feelings disappear. And that only can come with time.

If she moved on, or will, there's nothing you can do at this point to get get back.

 

I have a strong suspicion this breakup was over more than just one heated argument.

[shessofly]

“I need space to heal, please leave me alone."

 

I think her silence is telling you this is what she wants. Do not try to contact her anymore. She may reach out eventually, but continuing to text, email, call, etc., when she has asked for space and has ignored all of your attempts shows her that you do not respect her boundary. This type of behavior is an attraction killer.

 

Right now, be good to yourself. Take the focus off of her and on to you.

[Loveyougirrl]

Thanks for the reply guys.

 

I know that being persistent for 2 weeks, I may have only pushed her further away.

 

It just hurts because I wasn't trying to chase her. All I wanted was to apologise.

 

Is it okay if I make a video apologizing and send it to her in a week?

 

I have been NC for 7 days already.

[SweetGirl28]

Thanks for the reply guys.

 

I know that being persistent for 2 weeks, I may have only pushed her further away.

 

It just hurts because I wasn't trying to chase her. All I wanted was to apologise.

 

Is it okay if I make a video apologizing and send it to her in a week?

 

I have been NC for 7 days already.

 

No video either! Nada.

You have to leave this girl alone.

[MissCanuck]

Thanks for the reply guys.

 

I know that being persistent for 2 weeks, I may have only pushed her further away.

 

It just hurts because I wasn't trying to chase her. All I wanted was to apologise.

 

Is it okay if I make a video apologizing and send it to her in a week?

 

I have been NC for 7 days already.

 

No, don't send a video. You are being too pushy.

 

Leave her alone now. She knows how to find you if she wants to talk. What was the final fight about, anyway?

[Loveyougirrl]

Honestly, I feel ghosted.

 

I can't believe a person won't respond to a person who they loved/who loved them for 20 days.

 

So many times I've thought of letting her know that this silent treatment ain't good. I haven't so far in hope she'll get back.

 

There's so many unknowns.

 

All I asked her was to talk once and if she doesn't want to talk any further after that, I won't contact her.

[mustlovedogs]

You weren't ghosted. You dumped her and she's in NC.

[SweetGirl28]

Honestly, I feel ghosted.

 

I can't believe a person won't respond to a person who they loved/who loved them for 20 days.

 

So many times I've thought of letting her know that this silent treatment ain't good. I haven't so far in hope she'll get back.

 

There's so many unknowns.

 

All I asked her was to talk once and if she doesn't want to talk any further after that, I won't contact her.

 

The silent treatment is painful, but you can't change it.

All you can do us give this time. Focus on yourself.

I know it's easy to say, but you will be better off in the future.

You must let go of this right now.

[Loveyougirrl]

She's online on messenger all the time and I feel like she can see me too. I will wait till Thanksgiving for her to message.

[boltnrun]

Why won't you respect her wishes for space?

 

Are you solely focused on what you want, so much so that you completely ignore what she said she wants?

[MissCanuck]

Honestly, I feel ghosted.

 

I can't believe a person won't respond to a person who they loved/who loved them for 20 days.

 

So many times I've thought of letting her know that this silent treatment ain't good. I haven't so far in hope she'll get back.

 

There's so many unknowns.

 

All I asked her was to talk once and if she doesn't want to talk any further after that, I won't contact her.

 

Why do you feel ghosted? You broke up with her.

 

She was probably also wondering why someone who loved her dumped her in the heat of the moment. You really lack insight into your own behaviour, OP.

[Loveyougirrl]

Why do you feel ghosted? You broke up with her.

 

She was probably also wondering why someone who loved her dumped her in the heat of the moment. You really lack insight into your own behaviour, OP.

 

 

I think I've been ghosted because our fight was minor. And she brought up my family in that fight(who weren't very accepting of her). As soon as I mentioned breakup , it was as if she turned a leaf and that made me angry when none of my efforts to salvage our relationship worked.

 

I believe in her, but her being silent for 20 days brings all kinds of thoughts in my mind.

 

I think it may be her ex, then I think she's just sad, then I think she's doing NC with me, then I'm like she's confused.

 

I'm letting this be for now, but I need a definitive answer to know what to do.

 

I still feel for her and I don't want to start dating other women unless she has moved on. I just need to know her side once and for all, because I valued our relationship and never fought with her before. It's like one fight and the world came crashing down

[MissCanuck]

If it was a minor fight, and you ended it anyway, you cannot be surprised that she doesn't want to talk to you now.

 

You really don't see the hypocrisy here?

[Loveyougirrl]

If it was a minor fight, and you ended it anyway, you cannot be surprised that she doesn't want to talk to you now.

 

You really don't see the hypocrisy here?

 

I know I made a mistake. I only want to makeup for it.

 

Is it normal not to reply to any attempts to talk post breakup? Even once?

[Jillstrand23]

The rule is to get everything off of your chest once!!!! and then move on .

[Loveyougirrl]

I'm asking this again.

 

Is not replying even once in 20 days post breakup normal? Or should I just give up hope and move on. I've been NC for 8 days now!

[SweetGirl28]

I'm asking this again.

 

Is not replying even once in 20 days post breakup normal? Or should I just give up hope and move on. I've been NC for 8 days now!

 

Yes it's normal, when they don't want to have any association with you!

Don't feel bad, mine hasn't reached out in 10 weeks! Lol

I honestly don't care , one day you won't either

[MissCanuck]

I'm asking this again.

 

Is not replying even once in 20 days post breakup normal? Or should I just give up hope and move on. I've been NC for 8 days now!

 

Yes, I would say it's normal, particularly when things ended suddenly and not amicably.

[Loveyougirrl]

I've decided.

 

I'm going to date now.

 

I don't want to keep suffering wondering what the other person has in their mind. I know she's trying to move on, otherwise she wouldn't have deleted our google photos album, three days after I blocked her(because the thought of her being online and not responding was overwhelming me).

 

I've introspected.

 

I made a mistake, but I tried my best to get things back, which to her may have appeared like clingy, needy or begging or whatever people say online. All I said was "if you don't have the same feelings for me anymore, let me know so that I can also know and decide if I have to move on.". She decided not to answer that too.

 

I'm done and tired!

[Loveyougirrl]

Update: After 13 days of NC, I wished her on Thanksgiving today, telling her how I value the times I spent with her.

She replied finally, saying thanks and hoping I have a good weekend too.

I feel better, but still secretly wish I could have talked more.

Do you think I have done enough now not to contact unless she does next time?

[SweetGirl28]

Update: After 13 days of NC, I wished her on Thanksgiving today, telling her how I value the times I spent with her.

She replied finally, saying thanks and hoping I have a good weekend too.

I feel better, but still secretly wish I could have talked more.

Do you think I have done enough now not to contact unless she does next time?

 

 

Stop doing this!

She replied to be polite.

No where did she ask leading questions of you to engage conversation.

[Loveyougirrl]

@sweetgirl28 I know she didn't want a conversation. I didn't message her to win her back. I messaged her because she's important and I didn't feel like I'd feel bad if I didn't get a reply.

Now that she replied, I wished I could continue talking.

~feelings~