Sex Obsessed Boyfriend Is Driving Me Crazy!!!

[heyhelpme]

My boyfriend has always loved sex. We have been together for over 2 years, but recently his love for sex has turned into more of an obsession and it is really starting to wear me out in so many different ways .

 

I like having sex. When it's romantic and passionate and loving. I really like it. But everyday at the moment... what feels like all day, all my boyfriend seems to do is nag me to have sex or do sexual things with him. It feels like every half an hour he will ask me to do something, and it is just bringing me down to the point where I am starting to feel kind of numb. I wouldn't mind so much if it felt loving and romantic but it just doesn't because of the way I feel pressured and forced into it a lot of the time. I literally feel like I am just an object, and like my company isn't worth anything other than being an object for sex. Even when he isn't with me, all he does is text me porn gifs or tell me what he is gunna do to me when he gets home. When he talks about it (in real and on the phone/over text) - it is always really graphic and weird stuff he wants to talk about, which just turns me off even more and annoys me and upsets me. He went away for a week to visit his parents recently, and no word of a lie - 95% of the whole time he was away, all he did was text me about sex. He was sending me stuff 24/7 and he just really creeped me out everything it is just becoming so tedious to me.

 

I have spoken to him about what I like sex wise but I know he just thinks it's boring so he never bothers, I feel like he would never try the way I try for him. (Just to add - I have done some sex stuff with him which is completely and beyond out of my comfort zone just to make him happy. I'm not sure what more I can do?)

 

I am starting to just feel like I am not good enough or right for him anymore, he wants to talk about all this crazy stuff I just can't. We are super close but I am just starting to feel that I can't deal with this much longer, I wanna feel normal and feel loved.

 

What should I do?? How should I feel? Is it normal I feel this way?

(I don't think I will break up with him, maybe I should, but I just want some advice on how to help the situation, please.)

[Starlight925]

It sounds to me as though he has a sex addiction, driven by brain chemicals that get released when he has, or thinks about sex.

 

There isn't much advice I can give you.

 

If he were here, I'd probably advise that he seeks counseling, where they might possibly even prescribe medication, as this is being driven by something other than his normal, male physical urges.

 

This will not go away on its own. If you don't constantly oblige, he will likely seek it elsewhere, if he hasn't already. Could be porn, could be hookers, could be other women.

 

I'd only advise that you be brutally honest about this with him, and explain to him in a kind way what you've written about here. And see how he reacts.

[SherrySher]

This comes down to sexual incompatibility. It is unfortunate but there isn't a whole lot you can do about it.

Obviously you should never feel forced into something and you shouldn't be trying to do things you don't even like just to please your boyfriend.

You can try talking to him and letting him know how you truthfully feel, but I don't think it's going to help much.

He wants things a certain way and you want things a certain way and it's again unfortunate but you two just want different things in the bedroom. Not much you can do to change that.

[ThatwasThen]

Do you ever turn him down, or do you just accommodate his every request?

Have you ever told him that his sex texts have to stop, or do you just receive and reply?

Do you sext him back when he wants you to help him get off when you're not together every time he asks?

 

Sorry for all the questions I'm just trying to ascertain if you are enabling him. Its important that you have boundaries with him and if you don't and you just accommodate every whim then you are enabling what appears to be hypersexuality. The link below explains.

 

 

 

Is he bi-polar by chance?

[hooter]

it is just bringing me down to the point where I am starting to feel kind of numb....the way I feel pressured and forced into it a lot of the time. I literally feel like I am just an object, and like my company isn't worth anything other than being an object for sex.

 

There is such thing as rape inside of a relationship, and while you might not have said "no", it sounds like you are so fearful of his demands that you say yes (and say 'yes' a lot.) That is emotional control.

 

You say you won't leave him so other than that I don't see this getting any better, only worse, to the point that your self esteem has been ground into the ground and you've lost any kind of identify, not to mention forgetting what love-based intimacy even is any more.

 

I wish you the best.

[Seraphim]

Just tell him he is repulsing you and to stop. If he needs that much sex then he needs someone else or a blow up doll.

[thealchemist]

Well I honestly don't see anything wrong with his sexual desires. Just his lack of respect about your boundaries. That is a huge red flag though, in a lot more areas than just sex.

 

There is nothing wrong with sex everyday or being a very sexual person. I am pretty hyper sexual too.

 

He is just very very disrespectful, if you are informing him how all of this makes you feel and he continues. If you haven't explicitly told him this then do that first.

 

You two just sound sexually incompatible with each other. He doesn't need help getting his sexual desires under control.

 

He needs to grow up and learn that a relationship is about two people having their desires met, not one.

 

But it doesn't sound like you two will be able to find a sexual comprise.

 

I desire sex a lot. More than once a day would be great. I also like communicating sexually with my partner frequently. My wife is happy with our sex and so am I.

 

Just trying to balance people telling you he has a problem. Because if he does then I probably do too, and I don't think I do.

 

His only problem is being an inconsiderate @sshole.

 

I do think this is a legitiment reason to break up. In fact I really think it is your only healthy option.

[reinventmyself]

To use an analogy -

I love pumpkin pie but if I felt forced to eat it 3 times a day, I probably wouldn't like it anymore.

If suggest nicely that I'd be up for it- if only I could add ice cream or whip cream on it

. . or even heat it up once in a while, and then to be denied . .

Yah. . I'd probably give up pumpkin pie.