Should I take Her Back Or Not?

[bdwiii]

OK, yes I’m here again asking for your advice and insights which obviously I have overlooked or simply cannot see.

 

I will try to condense this to a readable version that gets to the point, yet does not miss the point either. Back in August, the end of August actually, I met a girl and we wentout to dinner and for drinks to get to know each other initially, and then fastforward to September 30 ^th , and she moved in with me. Everything was going just fine, and on weekends she’d go to visit her family which is about an hoursoutheast of here. Like I said, things were going well, and she wanted to get ajob close by here since she can’t drive for a little while. However, she had missed her first interview, and I went and spoke to the manager and got it rescheduled for her. So, after about a month and a half, and still not getting a job, it was the first of November, and I was texting her about when I’ll be home and what we’ll do that evening. I had gotten her an Iphone, and put it on my account, so she had a reliable phone to use, and like I said, I expected tosee her when I got home from work that evening. Well, just before I got home, I got a text from her, and she says, she won’t be here when I get home. She said she wanted to be closer to her family and kids, etc.. and is going to be staying with her brother, and that she had gotten all of her things, and left the keys in the mailbox.

 

Of course I was taken abackby this, and in shock really, because I had done all I could for her while she was here and never saw any problems between the two of us. She’s been gone nowexactly one week, and in that time she’s gotten two jobs, and is working almost a week. Now here’s the thing, I told her how upset I was that she had left like that without a warning or even an explanation. Well, a few days back, she texts me, and says she wants to come back, and I of course want her to come back. We were going to get together this weekend and talk about everything, and see what we’d come up with. Well, she texted me again this evening, and said she’s tiredfrom working, and all. I said well, if you’re working diligently at a job, thenI don’t see you coming back now if you’re already working there. She said, yes,I can if you’ll give me rides to work etc.. Well, that’s not exactly what I hadin mind; I wanted her to find work here. However, I’m considering doing it,because I miss her and want her to come back. Then my logical brain kicks inand says, “Why would you take her back if she could leave you so easily without taking into consideration your feelings, or how this was going to hurt you?” Ifit was so easy for her to do the first time, who’s to say she won’t do it again? One other important thing is that she dropped her phone, and shattered the screen. Under the protection coverage I have on my account, it can be fixedfor about $100 deductible. Well, we were going to get that fixed, but then sheleft before we ever got that far. So she has some things of mine that she’sbringing back this weekend, and she’s bringing her phone with too of course,but I’m thinking, if she could leave you so easily the first time, then quitepossibly, she just wants to get her phone fixed and then leave again. I know I’m thinking very negatively, but after what just happened, can you blame me?

 

So I’m asking please, what’syour take on this, and what do you think I should do? What would you do?

[Lostinlove31]

OK, yes I’m here againasking for your advice and insights which obviously I have overlooked or simplycannot see.

 

I will try to condense thisto a readable version that gets to the point, yet does not miss the pointeither. Back in August, the end of August actually, I met a girl and we wentout to dinner and for drinks to get to know each other initially, and then fastforward to September 30 ^th , and she moved in with me. Everything was goingjust fine, and on weekends she’d go to visit her family which is about an hoursoutheast of here. Like I said, things were going well, and she wanted to get ajob close by here since she can’t drive for a little while. However, she hadmissed her first interview, and I went and spoke to the manager and got itrescheduled for her. So, after about a month and a half, and still not gettinga job, it was the first of November, and I was texting her about when I’ll behome and what we’ll do that evening. I had gotten her an Iphone, and put it onmy account, so she had a reliable phone to use, and like I said, I expected tosee her when I got home from work that evening. Well, just before I got home, Igot a text from her, and she says, she won’t be here when I get home. She saidshe wanted to be closer to her family and kids, etc.. and is going to bestaying with her brother, and that she had gotten all of her things, and leftthe keys in the mailbox.

 

Of course I was taken abackby this, and in shock really, because I had done all I could for her while shewas here and never saw any problems between the two of us. She’s been gone nowexactly one week, and in that time she’s gotten two jobs, and is working almosta week. Now here’s the thing, I told her how upset I was that she had left likethat without a warning or even an explanation. Well, a few days back, she textsme, and says she wants to come back, and I of course want her to come back. Wewere going to get together this weekend and talk about everything, and see whatwe’d come up with. Well, she texted me again this evening, and said she’s tiredfrom working, and all. I said well, if you’re working diligently at a job, thenI don’t see you coming back now if you’re already working there. She said, yes,I can if you’ll give me rides to work etc.. Well, that’s not exactly what I hadin mind; I wanted her to find work here. However, I’m considering doing it,because I miss her and want her to come back. Then my logical brain kicks inand says, “Why would you take her back if she could leave you so easily withouttaking into consideration your feelings, or how this was going to hurt you?” Ifit was so easy for her to do the first time, who’s to say she won’t do itagain? One other important thing is that she dropped her phone, and shatteredthe screen. Under the protection coverage I have on my account, it can be fixedfor about $100 deductible. Well, we were going to get that fixed, but then sheleft before we ever got that far. So she has some things of mine that she’sbringing back this weekend, and she’s bringing her phone with too of course,but I’m thinking, if she could leave you so easily the first time, then quitepossibly, she just wants to get her phone fixed and then leave again. I know I’mthinking very negatively, but after what just happened, can you blame me?

 

So I’m asking please, what’syour take on this, and what do you think I should do? What would you do?

You have every right to say No. I wouldn't take her back. Sounds like she is wanting security and not a relationship. Work is hard and she needs a taxi. You will be falling into a trap.

[reinventmyself]

Listen to your logical brain!

Logic would have stopped you from letting a woman you only knew a few weeks move in with you.

I just about fell out of my chair when you said you spoke to the manager to get her another interview after she missed the first one.

You seem like a nice guy but when someone says because I had done all I could for her it makes my short hairs stand up.

 

She doesn't want to be with you but wants you to drive her around? Why exactly is she unemployed and unable to drive to begin with?

 

Sometimes when we have low self esteem we like to capture little birds with broken wings, so they won't fly away.

 

I get you miss her and want her back but she sounds she's going to toy with you with some more.

If you still want her back, then step back and let her do the work and prove it to you. My guess is she won't.

[bdwiii]

Wow, you're both right, but reinventmyself, you hit the nail on the head. Yeah, anyone who's not emotionally involved can look at this and say, "You were being USED plain and simple! Had she valued you at all, or had any kind of feelings for you, then she would have never left you in the first place. Or at the very least, she would have had a heart to heart sit down, and explain her feelings to you, and her reason why she wanted to leave. Just like this evening, we were texting, and when she was here, she had that phone glued to her hand and would be constantly texting away even while we were watching a movie. Tonight, after she answered about two of my texts, then her responses became more and more spaced, until I wasn't being answered at all. So my final text to her was "I'll see you this weekend, and don't forget to bring my things and the phone. All I got was, "OK, I will" In my heart of hearts, I don't see this working out. As much as I wanted it to, I'm looking at the facts which are obvious. It's gonna hurt like hell, but I think I'm just going to ask for my things back, the phone back too, and say goodbye. Yeah, it hurts like hell to have to let go, but I have to hold onto any shred of dignity I have left at this point.

[reinventmyself]

Yeah, it hurts like hell to have to let go, but I have to hold onto any shred of dignity I have left at this point.

 

Glad to hear you turned this one around so quickly. It's hard when you are flooded with emotion to think straight.

 

Going forward expect no less than you give in return.

Next time, wait at least a year before you give someone your house key.

You'll save yourself a lot of heartache.

 

Good luck.

[bdwiii]

Well, the weekend isn't here yet, and it's not over yet, but I am seeing it for what it really is. Trust me, I'm not thinking straight, and I am flooded with emotions. However, I know what I have to do

[Lostinlove31]

Well, the weekend isn't here yet, and it's not over yet, but I am seeing it for what it really is. Trust me, I'm not thinking straight, and I am flooded with emotions. However, I know what I have to do

Emotional decisions are the worst.

[glitterfingers]

I'm going to go against the grain here and say that her behaviour is actually not that bad, and I think it's you that has an unhealthy approach to the relationship.. Sorry. But letting someone move in with you when you've dated them for such a short time screams of codependency and lack of boundaries. In many ways, I think she did the right thing by moving out when it became clear to her that she was struggling to get a job near you - if she had stayed, she would remain a burden and most level-headed people absolutely do not want to be a burden to others.

 

Also, she didn't "leave" you - there was no breakup there from her, was there? She remained in contact, she just chose to take her life into her own hands a little more. While it's lovely what you did for her, she is under no obligation to stay living with you simply because you shelled out all that kindness and tried to set her up with a life where you are. I think she made a mature, thought out decision to step away. For all I know, she might have felt things were moving too fast or she might have felt smothered, and needed to take a step towards being able to think for herself and plan logically. The only upsetting part is that her moving out was abrupt - but again, it doesn't sound like she dumped you. It sounds more like she was having trouble communicating boundaries to you, and I would presume you're both at fault for that. You cannot ignore the role you've played in projecting the relationship forward at unprecedented speeds, so naturally it would be hard for her to know how to handle your feelings as well as her own.

 

What I would do in your situation, is take things much more slowly. How else are you going to know if this relationship has long term potential? No, you shouldn't let her move back in immediately and provide a taxi service for her - I think she is asking that because she wants to keep the relationship, though, and doesn't see another solution that will appease you. Do you see another solution?

If so, suggest that instead. (e.g.) Just go visit her a couple times a week rather than taxi her to work all the time. Focus on the short term and the emotional/mental compatibility

[mia500]

You aren't being negative, you're being smart. She's using you! She moves in after knowing you for a month, she gets a free phone, moves out when she finds another place, and now goes back to you because she wants her phone fixed. Don't take her back, she might've been fun, but you don't even know her, it's only been a month. She wants to take what she can get from you

[Rustysuit]

OK, yes I’m here again asking for your advice and insights which obviously I have overlooked or simply cannot see.

 

I will try to condense this to a readable version that gets to the point, yet does not miss the point either. Back in August, the end of August actually, I met a girl and we wentout to dinner and for drinks to get to know each other initially, and then fastforward to September 30 ^th , and she moved in with me. Everything was going just fine, and on weekends she’d go to visit her family which is about an hoursoutheast of here. Like I said, things were going well, and she wanted to get ajob close by here since she can’t drive for a little while. However, she had missed her first interview, and I went and spoke to the manager and got it rescheduled for her. So, after about a month and a half, and still not getting a job, it was the first of November, and I was texting her about when I’ll be home and what we’ll do that evening. I had gotten her an Iphone, and put it on my account, so she had a reliable phone to use, and like I said, I expected tosee her when I got home from work that evening. Well, just before I got home, I got a text from her, and she says, she won’t be here when I get home. She said she wanted to be closer to her family and kids, etc.. and is going to be staying with her brother, and that she had gotten all of her things, and left the keys in the mailbox.

 

Of course I was taken abackby this, and in shock really, because I had done all I could for her while she was here and never saw any problems between the two of us. She’s been gone nowexactly one week, and in that time she’s gotten two jobs, and is working almost a week. Now here’s the thing, I told her how upset I was that she had left like that without a warning or even an explanation. Well, a few days back, she texts me, and says she wants to come back, and I of course want her to come back. We were going to get together this weekend and talk about everything, and see what we’d come up with. Well, she texted me again this evening, and said she’s tiredfrom working, and all. I said well, if you’re working diligently at a job, thenI don’t see you coming back now if you’re already working there. She said, yes,I can if you’ll give me rides to work etc.. Well, that’s not exactly what I hadin mind; I wanted her to find work here. However, I’m considering doing it,because I miss her and want her to come back. Then my logical brain kicks inand says, “Why would you take her back if she could leave you so easily without taking into consideration your feelings, or how this was going to hurt you?” Ifit was so easy for her to do the first time, who’s to say she won’t do it again? One other important thing is that she dropped her phone, and shattered the screen. Under the protection coverage I have on my account, it can be fixedfor about $100 deductible. Well, we were going to get that fixed, but then sheleft before we ever got that far. So she has some things of mine that she’sbringing back this weekend, and she’s bringing her phone with too of course,but I’m thinking, if she could leave you so easily the first time, then quitepossibly, she just wants to get her phone fixed and then leave again. I know I’m thinking very negatively, but after what just happened, can you blame me?

 

So I’m asking please, what’syour take on this, and what do you think I should do? What would you do?

 

Dude, did I read this right

 

You met her on august and you were living together on september?

 

You both have problems.

[bdwiii]

You aren't being negative, you're being smart. She's using you! She moves in after knowing you for a month, she gets a free phone, moves out when she finds another place, and now goes back to you because she wants her phone fixed. Don't take her back, she might've been fun, but you don't even know her, it's only been a month. She wants to take what she can get from you

 

 

Yeah exactly, that’s what I’m seeing too now that I’ve stepped back from the situation and have had time to think about it.

 

You’re exactly right, and now I’m paying for it. As for take what she can, she’s already done that. I’m waiting for her to bring back several of my belongings, a hoodie, some assorted items from the bathroom, and backpacks which were in my closet.

 

Not to mention that now I’m paying for the phone and the additional line on my account, while she has never paid a dime. Thus far she has mentioned wanting to come back but keeping the jobs (she’s working at two places) in the area she is now if I’ll take her back and forth to work on top of going to my own job. In short, it’s just more abuse and would wind up hurting me more than she already has.

 

What logic is telling me now is to see her this weekend, get her to return my belongings and the damaged phone I got her her, have that line shut off or changed since I’m paying for it, and say goodbye once and for all and get on with my life. Another hard lesson learned.

[bdwiii]

I totally disagree with your take on this. No, it’s not that she couldn’t find a job here, she had an interview immediately at Ruby Tuesday’s which is within walking distance, yet chose to blow it off because she was running around with one of her friends. I even went to the manager, spoke to him, and got her rescheduled for another interview which would have been the day she left! She’s gone a week and is now working two jobs!! Why couldn’t she have done that here? She could have, but simply chose not to.

 

And no boundaries were being overstepped. We had several conversations about where we were at relationship wise, and she always told me we were fine, and how good I was to her. She was there from day one because she wanted to be. Then when she would have actually started a job and started buying her own cigarettes and paying her phone bill (that’s all I asked at the time), she packs all her things, along with some of mine and is gone like a thief in the night. And what do I get? A brief text message saying that she had left.

 

So no, after being away from it for a week now all I see was that I was being taken advantage of and used.

[SherrySher]

bdwiii, you have overcome so much with your health, please do right by yourself and find someone who is going to respect you and love you properly.

 

This "woman" is acting like an irresponsible child and is having you run after her and basically use you as she pleases. You deserve so much better!!

 

I hope you find the strength within yourself to let this one go and seek better. You've come too far to accept this kind of treatment from someone.

[bdwiii]

Thank you. You know, I was just thinking that very thing today. I locked horns with pancreatic cancer, and thus far, have won the fight, because my scans are clean (no recurrence), and I'm still alive to share this renewal of life with my family and friends, and people who love me. I don't deserve to be beaten up either physically or emotionally after almost dying do I? I was almost in tears when I thought about this; how some people can look at someone like me, who fought so hard to get back up and into the game again, only to punch them in the face, knock them back down to the ground and give them a few sharp kicks to the ribs and spit on them for good measure! Why are people so heartless and cruel? Why do certain people want to hurt someone else so badly, someone who never did a thing to them except show them empathy, kindness, and love?

 

So no, I not want endure this again. I don't want round two of something that hurt pretty bad the first time. I want to let go, and heal so that maybe I can find real love.

 

Thank you.

[SherrySher]

You do deserve better and I sincerely hope you find it.

[bdwiii]

You do deserve better and I sincerely hope you find it.

 

 

Thank you. So do I.

[abitbroken]

I totally disagree with your take on this. No, it’s not that she couldn’t find a job here, she had an interview immediately at Ruby Tuesday’s which is within walking distance, yet chose to blow it off because she was running around with one of her friends. I even went to the manager, spoke to him, and got her rescheduled for another interview which would have been the day she left! She’s gone a week and is now working two jobs!! Why couldn’t she have done that here? She could have, but simply chose not to.

 

And no boundaries were being overstepped. We had several conversations about where we were at relationship wise, and she always told me we were fine, and how good I was to her. She was there from day one because she wanted to be. Then when she would have actually started a job and started buying her own cigarettes and paying her phone bill (that’s all I asked at the time), she packs all her things, along with some of mine and is gone like a thief in the night. And what do I get? A brief text message saying that she had left.

 

So no, after being away from it for a week now all I see was that I was being taken advantage of and used.

 

Goodness. You really do need your eyes open.

 

If you were her high school teacher and you were best friends with the manager and she was a girl in your class that was having a very bad go at home, then i can see going to the manager and asking for another shot for her ---- but you are not and you don't see the boundary violation of that? If she lived with you (nothing in her name), you gave her a phone (which you could keep tabs on her possibly that way) or if not, just an over the top inappropriately expensive gift and went in and asked a manager to interview her), I would be a little worried if I were her that you were trying to make me your possession, especially if i wasn't going to be driving for awhile.

 

Do you believe you have to control things for someone so that they will stay with you for some reason?

 

I really, really think you need to read up on codependency.

[glitterfingers]

I totally disagree with your take on this. No, it’s not that she couldn’t find a job here, she had an interview immediately at Ruby Tuesday’s which is within walking distance, yet chose to blow it off because she was running around with one of her friends. I even went to the manager, spoke to him, and got her rescheduled for another interview which would have been the day she left! She’s gone a week and is now working two jobs!! Why couldn’t she have done that here? She could have, but simply chose not to.

 

And no boundaries were being overstepped. We had several conversations about where we were at relationship wise, and she always told me we were fine, and how good I was to her. She was there from day one because she wanted to be. Then when she would have actually started a job and started buying her own cigarettes and paying her phone bill (that’s all I asked at the time), she packs all her things, along with some of mine and is gone like a thief in the night. And what do I get? A brief text message saying that she had left.

 

So no, after being away from it for a week now all I see was that I was being taken advantage of and used.

 

If you are sure, then you still need to reflect on your poor judgement of her character and the fact you moved too fast. Relationships are not black and white much of the time, and unless there was cheating or abuse, it normally takes two people to bring these situations about. I still think you need to therefore understand and accept the role that you've played into whatever dynamics occurred, even if it's not quite to the extent that it appears to me

 

You could simply try asking her, also, rather than making assumptions. She might have something interesting to add that you haven't considered

[glitterfingers]

Goodness. You really do need your eyes open.

 

If you were her high school teacher and you were best friends with the manager and she was a girl in your class that was having a very bad go at home, then i can see going to the manager and asking for another shot for her ---- but you are not and you don't see the boundary violation of that? If she lived with you (nothing in her name), you gave her a phone (which you could keep tabs on her possibly that way) or if not, just an over the top inappropriately expensive gift and went in and asked a manager to interview her), I would be a little worried if I were her that you were trying to make me your possession, especially if i wasn't going to be driving for awhile.

 

Do you believe you have to control things for someone so that they will stay with you for some reason?

 

I really, really think you need to read up on codependency.

 

100%

 

If someone did all this for me, I'd be questioning their motives (and mental stability) big time and I'd be afraid to speak up for myself at risk of seeming ungrateful for their generosity

 

There's two sides to every story

 

Again, ask her for her perspective. Otherwise you'll never have the information you need to grow from this experience so that you don't make similar mistakes in the future (she may give you a straight answer as to what happened, which might be justifiable, but if she doesn't you will still learn something)

[bdwiii]

Goodness. You really do need your eyes open.

 

If you were her high school teacher and you were best friends with the manager and she was a girl in your class that was having a very bad go at home, then i can see going to the manager and asking for another shot for her ---- but you are not and you don't see the boundary violation of that? If she lived with you (nothing in her name), you gave her a phone (which you could keep tabs on her possibly that way) or if not, just an over the top inappropriately expensive gift and went in and asked a manager to interview her), I would be a little worried if I were her that you were trying to make me your possession, especially if i wasn't going to be driving for awhile.

 

Do you believe you have to control things for someone so that they will stay with you for some reason?

 

I really, really think you need to read up on codependency.

 

 

Oh I’m well aware of what codependency is, and yes, I’mguilty of it (trying to fix something someone else messed up for them). As amatter of fact, had I not been so much of a codependent, I would have seen thewriting on the wall then and there when she blew off the first interview andtold her to leave. It’s learning to say no, and not enabling others at your ownexpense as the first step in recovery from this. I know this, but obviouslyhaven’t gotten it nailed down yet.

 

Do I see me going in to see the manager and get her a secondchance at a job overstepping boundaries? Absolutely not, unless the boundariesare “I’ll do whatever I please, not work, have you buy my cigarettes, and layaround all day even though I told you I was desperate to find a job, and justlet you pay for everything!” She also begged me to get her a new phonebecause the phone she had was a piece of . That she promised to pay herportion of once she was working. That never happened either! And no, it wasn’t “tokeep tabs on her” lol really, I thinkyou’re reading into things just a bit much.

 

No I wasn’t trying to make her “my possession” just tryingto get her off her ass and become a partner in the relationship instead of justa dependant. And no, none of my actions were to keep her here so she wouldn’tleave me. She did that regardless, and to be quite honest, I find itliberating. I just now have to get my belongings back and clean up thefinancial mess of the phone. You see? Getting better at this; that’s why Iposted asking what you think I should do. However, given enough time, (a week),and the answer just screams at you!

[bdwiii]

Hopefully I'll get that from her this weekend

[glitterfingers]

Oh I’m well aware of what codependency is, and yes, I’mguilty of it (trying to fix something someone else messed up for them). As amatter of fact, had I not been so much of a codependent, I would have seen thewriting on the wall then and there when she blew off the first interview andtold her to leave. It’s learning to say no, and not enabling others at your ownexpense as the first step in recovery from this. I know this, but obviouslyhaven’t gotten it nailed down yet.

 

Do I see me going in to see the manager and get her a secondchance at a job overstepping boundaries? Absolutely not, unless the boundariesare “I’ll do whatever I please, not work, have you buy my cigarettes, and layaround all day even though I told you I was desperate to find a job, and justlet you pay for everything!” She also begged me to get her a new phonebecause the phone she had was a piece of . That she promised to pay herportion of once she was working. That never happened either! And no, it wasn’t “tokeep tabs on her” lol really, I thinkyou’re reading into things just a bit much.

 

No I wasn’t trying to make her “my possession” just tryingto get her off her ass and become a partner in the relationship instead of justa dependant. And no, none of my actions were to keep her here so she wouldn’tleave me. She did that regardless, and to be quite honest, I find itliberating. I just now have to get my belongings back and clean up thefinancial mess of the phone. You see? Getting better at this; that’s why Iposted asking what you think I should do. However, given enough time, (a week),and the answer just screams at you!

 

In a lot of ways, you forced the relationship in the direction it went down so I think that you should be cautious about exclaiming her as a user and dependant. When you do all those things for someone, you're inadvertently telling them that this is the role you want to take in the relationship and that their role in the relationship should complement it. Think about it for a second - how would she ever repay you in kind for the way you treated her?

 

You set up a large part of this unhealthy dynamic and until you recognise that, I don't think you've resolved the issues in this relationship. I also (again) don't think you have a right to tell her she's a sh**ty human being, if you were considering doing that, because you allowed all of this to happen and in many ways took control of the direction of the relationship by doing so. If you didn't want things to go down the route they went down, you shouldn't have taken it there

 

You don't invite a bunch of people to your house for dinner and then get mad that they eat all the food and leave a big mess. What did you expect?

[figureitout23]

OPer I don't think she's innocent. She saw your desperation and possibly your codependence and took advantage of it. Sounds like she's going to try to use you up if you let her. I highly doubt she's 'afraid' of you, you're practically strangers and she moved in with you and accepted your coddling and gifts. Broken attracts broken. Get out and work on yourself.

[bdwiii]

In a lot of ways, you forced the relationship in the direction it went down so I think that you should be cautious about exclaiming her as a user and dependant. When you do all those things for someone, you're inadvertently telling them that this is the role you want to take in the relationship and that their role in the relationship should complement it. Think about it for a second - how would she ever repay you in kind for the way you treated her?

 

You set up a large part of this unhealthy dynamic and until you recognise that, I don't think you've resolved the issues in this relationship. I also (again) don't think you have a right to tell her she's a sh**ty human being, if you were considering doing that, because you allowed all of this to happen and in many ways took control of the direction of the relationship by doing so. If you didn't want things to go down the route they went down, you shouldn't have taken it there

 

You don't invite a bunch of people to your house for dinner and then get mad that they eat all the food and leave a big mess. What did you expect?

 

 

 

Bad analogy, about people over for dinner and eating all the food. It’s not even related. What I expected was a decent human being who would not deliberately take advantage of me and view my kindness as a sign of weakness and target for an easy mark. I have seen and met far better people who would never behave like that. This is why I DO NOT WANT HER BACK anymore. Yes, I used very poor judgment, however my actions were not an indication of what I wanted in the relationship. What happened was because I wasn’t going to stand for much more of it.

[bdwiii]

I totally agree with you. It lasted 2 months and even before she left I was getting sick of it. Now she’s gone almost two weeks and that’s all I needed to analyze the situation from a distance, and it was totally dysfunctional and just . The only reason I posted was I wanted third party perspective on her saying that she’d like to come back. I don’t think that’s a good idea at all and I don’t want that to happen anymore.