NotaTeen Posted October 25, 2017 Share Posted October 25, 2017 I recently ended a relationship with a 40year old man I truly loved. I checked his instagram and realised something that shocked me. He followed around 230 ppl in total. Around 120 of these were teenage models (girls) from the age of 12 to the age of 16 maybe 17. I have to stress out that none of these girls was fully grown as a woman. They looked like kids posing with bathing suits and naughty faces. Of course he liked all the photos that had a sexual hint. (ex lowering her shorts and showing some skin...you know where. Also he only followed 1-2 18-20 year olds and no grown women. When I ended it wih him he said to me that I have issues of self esteem and that all men look at younger girls. His point was that he looks but does not touch and that should be reason enough for me to accept it. I know he loved me and our relationship was amazing, but when I saw that, it was a red flag for me. How can I rely on him to get married and have a family? Am I the confused one or is he creepy and I did the right thing to walk away?( I am 38 years old but look very young -petite , just in case you are wondering what his gf looked like.) Please give me your thoughts on this matter. Thank you. Link to comment
dias Posted October 25, 2017 Share Posted October 25, 2017 Younger girls maybe, kids no! You did well. Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted October 25, 2017 Share Posted October 25, 2017 What kind of modeling agency takes shots of underage girls showing skin or in sexy poses? Were they actually of age but just looked younger? I find his 'habit' creepy too, to be honest. Link to comment
nuttybuddy Posted October 25, 2017 Share Posted October 25, 2017 I think you did the right thing. Bible says even lusting after someone is sin. He’s trying g to justify all men look at beautiful women, but they don’t actively go seeking out looking IN ORDER to look at them. If you were on the beach and there were some hotties in bikinis I wouldn’t say anything about that, but if he has a tinder or an Instagram for the purposes of lusting, this is a red flag. If you allow him to do what he’s doing, he can justify looking at playboy, watching porn, and going to strip clubs. He’s criticizing YOU OF SELF ESTEEM issues? He needs to Check himself! Before he wreck himself! I would verify you actually have a very HEALTHY self esteem. You need a better guy who is on the same page as you. If he doesn’t want to even try to change, move on. He’s wasted your time. Sorry. Link to comment
NotaTeen Posted October 25, 2017 Author Share Posted October 25, 2017 I question myself as well... and above that some f these accounts are controled by THEIR PARENTS!!!!! Link to comment
Seraphim Posted October 25, 2017 Share Posted October 25, 2017 As a person who was sexually abused at 13 I find predators disgusting. Special place in hell for those folks. Link to comment
NotaTeen Posted October 25, 2017 Author Share Posted October 25, 2017 Thank you for saying that. Cause he made me feel like I am a jealous weerdo who needs to see a therapist.... They are all little girls. If it was legal I would post some pics for you to see.... Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted October 25, 2017 Share Posted October 25, 2017 Well done you ! Link to comment
NotaTeen Posted October 25, 2017 Author Share Posted October 25, 2017 No they are all underage... I checked and believe me it was sooo obvious they were little girls Link to comment
nuttybuddy Posted October 25, 2017 Share Posted October 25, 2017 Pedophile. He is bordering the line to get arrested. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted October 25, 2017 Share Posted October 25, 2017 Well when he ends up in prison ..... because I know of somebody going to prison right now for the same thing . Someone right here in the town that I live in . Link to comment
NotaTeen Posted October 25, 2017 Author Share Posted October 25, 2017 It's so sad to find out something like that for the man you thought you'd spend your life with. But I was stupid cause I trusted him and did not check anything earlier... Link to comment
dias Posted October 25, 2017 Share Posted October 25, 2017 It's so sad to find out something like that for the man you thought you'd spend your life with. But I was stupid cause I trusted him and did not check anything earlier... See the bright side, you could have kids right now. It would be way worse! Link to comment
melancholy123 Posted October 25, 2017 Share Posted October 25, 2017 This guy is perverted. Looking at young girls scantily clad is not normal for anyone. You dodged a bullet by getting away from him. I do wonder if there's any legal recourse where this creep lives that could do something about him. Looking but not touching does not make it alright. The whereabouts of the parents of these young girls is a whole other problem. Link to comment
NotaTeen Posted October 25, 2017 Author Share Posted October 25, 2017 See the bright side, you could have kids right now. It would be way worse! Do you believe that when I first realized what I was looking at, the first image that came into mind was us having teenage kids bringing their female friends home...... I got sick. yes it could be worse, but still feel completely broken. At least now I know Im not the crazy one and that is NOT normal as he presented it to be. Link to comment
NotaTeen Posted October 25, 2017 Author Share Posted October 25, 2017 I thought about making a note to cyber crime police but I don't know if he also follows pornographic sites. I just got into his instagram. And these pics are all legal... Don't ask me why... If I were a mother I wouldn't even think of exposing my child to perverts. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted October 25, 2017 Share Posted October 25, 2017 You certainly dodged a bullet! Given enough rope, he'll hang himself. Link to comment
Giblesp Posted October 25, 2017 Share Posted October 25, 2017 He's the confused and unhealthy one. You need to get away from him, you've done the right thing. Link to comment
Giblesp Posted October 25, 2017 Share Posted October 25, 2017 I thought about making a note to cyber crime police but I don't know if he also follows pornographic sites. I just got into his instagram. And these pics are all legal... Don't ask me why... If I were a mother I wouldn't even think of exposing my child to perverts. If you feel he could harm a child, then make a report. Sorry to have to say, but perhaps he is talking to them. If that's the case, then the question must be asked how far will he go. He has a problem but doesn't seem to realize it which is worrying. Link to comment
Honeycomb8 Posted October 25, 2017 Share Posted October 25, 2017 I'd report him. Sorry I have no sympathy for pedophiles. Link to comment
NotaTeen Posted October 25, 2017 Author Share Posted October 25, 2017 No he is not talking to any of them. I checked. Plus most pages are monitored by their parents. I don't believe that he would go after any one of these models. But I dont know if he would go after a teenage girl, if he ever had easy access. According to him he doesnt even have lust for them... just "admires" them... How the hell does a 40 year old man admire underaged girls? ..... Even in that sense it stil feels creepy to me.. Link to comment
NotaTeen Posted October 25, 2017 Author Share Posted October 25, 2017 I'd report him. Sorry I have no sympathy for pedophiles. Report what? What he does is 100% legal. These girls have hundreds of grown men drooling over their photos. it's instagram and the profiles are public. They are "teen" models. (ad I quote teen , cause 12 and 13 is still a child to me. Link to comment
firelily Posted October 25, 2017 Share Posted October 25, 2017 I don't think I'd be ok with dating a guy who follows 130 sexy posing models even if they were adults. It's one thing to use porn and erotic materials when horny, but someone for whom looking at sexy women is one of his daily hobbies wouldn't be a match for me... like these guys who hang a calendar with naked women at their work and they think it's nice. Like what's the point? They need their penis slightly erected all the time or they become unproductive? But still I'd understand one naked wallpaper, but following 130 profiles even occasionally takes time from other hobbies I'd expect from a 40y old man. If it were me, I'd rather date a guy with a Star Wars calendar on the wall who follows 100 pages about medieval weaponry, because I'd admire what his mind is hungry for. Someone who follows 130 sexy posing teenagers and thinks this is a normal pastime for a mature man is clearly wrong. Link to comment
NotaTeen Posted October 25, 2017 Author Share Posted October 25, 2017 @firelily - you are thinking exactly the same way I do. Thank you! Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted October 25, 2017 Share Posted October 25, 2017 It's so sad to find out something like that for the man you thought you'd spend your life with. But I was stupid cause I trusted him and did not check anything earlier... You weren't stupid. How often do we think we need to double check to see if our partner isn't some sort of pedophile. . .just in case? We don't. You trusted him. .that's a good thing. But now you know otherwise. I met some guy, online dating. He sent me a fb friend request. I didn't accept it because of the same thing. Most of his`friends' were teenage girls in the Phillipines? He had a teenage daughter too. . . the minute someone uses a personal insult to get you to back down (telling you you have self esteem issues) it's a red flag that they are overly defensive. Overly defensive about something really wrong. Link to comment
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