RuedeRivoli Posted October 22, 2017 Share Posted October 22, 2017 Hi all, Before I start this thread, may I kindly ask that I'm already aware of the following: - There's indeed a huge age gap. - We work together and I should not mess with coworkers. Now, here's the story: About a year and a half ago, I was visiting one of the company offices in a different location and I was due to have a meeting with a head of a department. He introduced himself and we hit it off pretty well. He ended up asking me to go out for drinks with him and a few other people (supposedly). He kept postponing our work meeting, but kept writing me online to join for the drinks. At some stage, everyone had left the office and he asked me if I wanted to join. I found it bizarre as everyone had already left and I was feeling a bit sick, so I politely declined. Quite frankly, I had never met any of these people and the encounters I had to get acquainted with other colleagues were lunch meetings or coffee, not afterwork drinks. It made me feel a bit uncomfortable, but maybe I read too much into it. He never managed to get the meeting scheduled and delegated it to someone else. Fast forward, he would call me a few times here and there, we'd talk for a bit about work. One day, I'm not sure what came over him, and he blamed me for someone else's mistake. He lashed out via email a bit. I called him up on the phone to understand what the problem was (even though I was mad at that stage), he started to joke about my last name (seriously?). I went silent on the phone and he said: "I guess you're not impressed" - to which I replied "Absolutely not". Mind you, this guy is quite high up. He sensed I was slightly offended, he kept apologizing three to four times during our call. After this, he never really dared to call again. Fast forward a few months down the line, he heard I would be visiting his office. He sent me an email (which he rarely did following our awkward phone call) asking when I'd be visiting. When I gave him the dates, he said: "I'm sorry to see I won't be there as I'll be off, otherwise, we could have gone out for drinks". I replied wishing him a nice break and left it at that. Three weeks later, I called him on the phone for a work related matter and he asked me again when I'd be visiting, then he said "Ok, I'll see you then". Bizarre as he had said he wouldn't be there. When I showed up to his office, he started acting weird the whole forthnight. People were telling me he's so fun, exuberant and makes jokes all the time. When I got there, he was the polar opposite! He's a confident corporate guy and when he greeted me, he was tongue-tied and kept stuttering. Then, I barely heard him say two words when I was there. I'd see him in the office and he would look down if I wanted to say "hi". Yet, if he saw me on the walking down the street, he'd make sure to greet me. I only heard him making one lousy joke about why he got divorced. Aside from that, he was silent the entire time. His own trainee told me he's never like that normally. He's a lot more vibrant, attention-seeking, confident ... She said his behavior was weird and unusual. About a month later, I visited again. Everyone greeted me, but he didn't. He hid behind his computer until another higher up called him up (in front of me) to come and greet me. He turned red, greeted me but again, couldn't string a sentence. This is weird, because he works in corporate communication and I know he's not like that at all with other female coworkers/clients. The one thing that surprised me is that we had a contingency at the office at some stage due to whether conditions, and he sent me and another male coworker who started three weeks ago (he doesn't even know him and they never met), an email on a sunday night at 3 am to see if we're doing well. Granted, he sent it to our work inbox, but I appreciated the gesture and thanked him for it. The issue is that when we initially met last year, I thought he was attractive, but nothing more. I guess I had a small attraction, but I was dating someone, so it didn't cross my mind. However, lately, I have been reconsidering my attraction to him which keeps growing for one reason or another. I'm 26 and he's in his early 50s. He's got a kid also. I know he's divorced since he joked about it as I stated earlier. I'm not sure how to approach this because although I don't report to him and we don't work in the same office, I don't want to come across as desperate. I've never been into older men as I have a healthy relationship with my father who has always been present. I was the girl who only liked guys her own age, until I met him .. To this day, other older men don't do it for me at all! I don't know what's going on with me. It's not even the fact he's a higher up, since he's got no authority over me. I just can't wrap my head around this, yet I'm very attracted to him. I'm also very good at my job, so it's not like I'm seeking to benefit from anything. This is strange. Link to comment
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