DAmari Posted September 30, 2017 Share Posted September 30, 2017 I am freaking out right now! This guy i have been talking to for like 4-5 days said i love you!!! I am thinking maybe he just sent the message to the wrong person! I understand what i do to make these guys want to be in a relationship with me!! Which i am not ready for. We haven’t even been out on a date. I said i love you back just so i wouldn’t hurt his feelings (i know i am wrong for that). If he did send it to the wrong person then i wont ever talk to him again...ugh. I don’t know what i have gotten myself to. Please help!!! Im still trying to get it through my head that he said it. Ugh... Link to comment
Capttrae Posted September 30, 2017 Share Posted September 30, 2017 Maybe he was texting someone in his family as well as you Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted September 30, 2017 Share Posted September 30, 2017 Why the hell did you say it back ? If it was indeed meant for you then the guy is just desperate , and probably said it to the last one after a few days and the one before that and the one before that ... that's what desperate people do ( I have a friend who is just the same ) Link to comment
Hollyj Posted September 30, 2017 Share Posted September 30, 2017 Why would you say that back????????? If it was meant for you, you should be rid of this guy. Not only is he not being honest, but it is strange. BIG RED FLAG!!!! He does not know you, and something like that takes time to develop. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted September 30, 2017 Share Posted September 30, 2017 "Well, it hasn’t been only but two days that I have been chatting with this guy and he’s telling me: I am going to show you/teach you how to love, you are going to be so in love with me that it’ll drive you crazy, not even when I’m busy you will be #1, I am nothing like your exes or the guys you talked to (I haven’t even told him anything about me being cheated on nor my trust issues), and some more stuff." Your judgement is off. Perhaps, you should deal with your break up, instead of trying to date. If you were in the right place, you would not have anything to do with this guy. Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted September 30, 2017 Share Posted September 30, 2017 "Well, it hasn’t been only but two days that I have been chatting with this guy and he’s telling me: I am going to show you/teach you how to love, you are going to be so in love with me that it’ll drive you crazy, not even when I’m busy you will be #1, I am nothing like your exes or the guys you talked to (I haven’t even told him anything about me being cheated on nor my trust issues), and some more stuff." Your judgement is off. Perhaps, you should deal with your break up, instead of trying to date. If you were in the right place, you would not have anything to do with this guy. Is this the same guy is it .I answered on that thread ! As the op is 17 , I think she is just seeing all this as all these lads wanting to fall in love with her and not seeing the bigger picture at all , which is a load of teenage boys chatting up anyone . Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted September 30, 2017 Share Posted September 30, 2017 I have just read back all your threads and as you are 17 I will say to you what I would say to my daughter .... get off line , get out and get a real life , since May there is one lad after another , drama after drama after drama , I can't even make out which lad belongs to which story .....................put your phone down , call your friends and go and do something in the real world , your life seems to evolve around lads on the internet . Link to comment
Hollyj Posted September 30, 2017 Share Posted September 30, 2017 I have just read back all your threads and as you are 17 I will say to you what I would say to my daughter .... get off line , get out and get a real life , since May there is one lad after another , drama after drama after drama , I can't even make out which lad belongs to which story .....................put your phone down , call your friends and go and do something in the real world , your life seems to evolve around lads on the internet . Great advice!!!! Link to comment
DAmari Posted October 1, 2017 Author Share Posted October 1, 2017 For the last time I am 18! Not 17 anymore! I am not interested in any of these guys. I am talking to them just to talk them. I have already stated that I am not getting in a relationship. I don’t have friends nor do I want any because they bring trouble and drama just like some of these guys! Some of the guys I talk to have good personalities. I am not the type of girl to ignore someone. I have already mentioned it to them. And stop judging me. I am a sweet girl. I KNOW what it feels like to be turned down and hurt. I am talking to them just to talk to them and I have talked to guys in person they are no different then meeting them over the internet. Lastly don’t forget I am 18 and I have A LOT to learn about love and relationships. I didn’t grow up in a healthy home where there was two parents who were married. I grew up in the projects with a mom who was locked up on and off, a dad who was diagnosed with a mental disorder. I did not come on here to get judged off of my decisions. I was asking for advice not judgement. And I don’t care who he said I love you to. It doesn’t change how I feel about him. I am NOT INTERESTED in NONE of them. Link to comment
mustlovedogs Posted October 1, 2017 Share Posted October 1, 2017 17 and 18 are just a day apart. You're leading them on if you continue to talk to guys who are interested. You say you're nice, but doing that is cruel. Link to comment
DAmari Posted October 1, 2017 Author Share Posted October 1, 2017 Nor am I catching feelings after having your heart broken you start to become numb to that...well that’s what happened to me. Yes, I have been talking to guys on and off since May so stop judging me like none of you have never been on a dating website or if a guy has hit you up off of Facebook. Thank you to those who have given me and too bad for those who have judged me none of you are PERFECT nor have any of your relationships have been. Link to comment
mustlovedogs Posted October 1, 2017 Share Posted October 1, 2017 I never claimed to be perfect. But that doesn't change that what you're doing is wrong. You're being selfish. You're using these guys for your own ego under the guise of being a friend. Selfish at its best, cruel at its worst. No one is perfect, but good people work to improve their flaws. Link to comment
Jibralta Posted October 1, 2017 Share Posted October 1, 2017 "I love you" can be just words. Best to hold out for the person(s) who SHOW you their love through their actions. Link to comment
Pleasedonot5 Posted October 1, 2017 Share Posted October 1, 2017 You came to this forum for advice, and you are getting it. The truth may be tough to hear, but no one here is posting on this thread for the sake of judging you. It is not healthy or realistic to say I love you over text after only a few days of knowing someone. If it was meant for you, and you said it back, that's bad. If it wasn't, that's embarrassing. You think you are doing someone a favor by falsely reciprocating their feelings, but you are actually being dishonest and cruel when you do that. It's worse to be led on than to be told "no." As for your family life, I am very sorry your childhood was turbulent. I didn't have a healthy parental marriage to look up to either. It will take time and support from close friends to help you through some of those tough times you went through as a kid. Link to comment
DAmari Posted October 1, 2017 Author Share Posted October 1, 2017 I never claimed to be perfect. But that doesn't change that what you're doing is wrong. You're being selfish. You're using these guys for your own ego under the guise of being a friend. Selfish at its best, cruel at its worst. No one is perfect, but good people work to improve their flaws. I am not using any of them. I made sure to tell them upfront that I am not ready to be in a relationship anytime soon. They chose to still talk to me. I already admitted I am wrong for saying I love you back and you call this cruel? Hm, I guess you don’t know the real meaning of cruel. Link to comment
DAmari Posted October 1, 2017 Author Share Posted October 1, 2017 You came to this forum for advice, and you are getting it. The truth may be tough to hear, but no one here is posting on this thread for the sake of judging you. It is not healthy or realistic to say I love you over text after only a few days of knowing someone. If it was meant for you, and you said it back, that's bad. If it wasn't, that's embarrassing. You think you are doing someone a favor by falsely reciprocating their feelings, but you are actually being dishonest and cruel when you do that. It's worse to be led on than to be told "no." As for your family life, I am very sorry your childhood was turbulent. I didn't have a healthy parental marriage to look up to either. It will take time and support from close friends to help you through some of those tough times you went through as a kid. I don’t have friends and no I am also experiencing judgement on here but I am not surprised. I said thank you to the people for giving me real advice. And thank you for the advice too. If I had friends I wouldn’t be on here asking for advice. Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted October 1, 2017 Share Posted October 1, 2017 You wrote this thread 6 days ago ...It is so full of drama I don't know where to begin ... yet after this is another and another , it is hard to give someone advice when you are sitting here reading this kind of stuff . I think you just like attention and when it doesn't go your way on here you don't like it ..you started a thread complaining about everyone already . I comment on what I see , what I read ..comments not judgements ...comments . So as far as your threads go ..I am out ..I am too old for this . Link to comment
Pleasedonot5 Posted October 1, 2017 Share Posted October 1, 2017 I don’t have friends and no I am also experiencing judgement on here but I am not surprised. I said thank you to the people for giving me real advice. And thank you for the advice too. If I had friends I wouldn’t be on here asking for advice. For what reasons(s) do you feel you do not have any friends? You're very welcome for the advice. Others on here are attempting to give you tough love advice as well, but you seem to be particularly sensitive to "being judged." I don't think anyone on the site is coming to the site for the sole purpose of judging people. Posters might give you advice that you don't want to hear, but I think that you - instead of taking tough love advice for what it is - are posting on here for validation - not advice. You have an extreme negative reaction to any perceived judgement of you, and that makes it tough for us to give you the advice you need. So, with that in mind, what do think is the reason you are reacting so negatively to posters' advice on here? Link to comment
Hollyj Posted October 1, 2017 Share Posted October 1, 2017 17 and 18 are just a day apart. You're leading them on if you continue to talk to guys who are interested. You say you're nice, but doing that is cruel. Totally agree. it is attention seeking, and a tool to stroke your ego. Have you considered that the reason that you don't have friends, is due to the fact that you have been attracted to dodgy people? There are many wonderful, loving and reliable people out there, you must simply chose them. I would address your own issues first. These guys are not looking for a pen pal. or someone who is looking for ego strokes. Link to comment
figureitout23 Posted October 7, 2017 Share Posted October 7, 2017 Looking at the big picture here I don't believe the OPer is being cruel because she is very much looking for a relationship. She's looking to fill that hole, so getting validation from these random guys actually makes a lot of sense of you think about it. Truth is a dude saying 'i love you' after 4 days is probably either in the same boat as her or trying to get laid. I know it's easy to take a posters words at face value, but I find many, especially young ones, are often dishonest about their true feelings and intentions. 9 times out of 10 of a person is asking for advice for someone they 'don't want to be in a relationship with' they care about the person. You don't ask advice about people you don't care about. No one I have ever known in my life has ever discussed or stressed or asked advice about someone they could care less about. It's not logical. people you don't care about don't typically rent space in your mind, they just don't. OPer, I don't think it's a good idea to seek validation from these men. It will do more harm than good in the long run. Link to comment
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