Weekends are the hardest

[alonegirl]

Here it is Friday moring I am starting my day at work and I should be so happy because the weekends here right? Wrong. I am getting so down because I know that the weekend is going to be so hard. I wrote in an earlier post about how my boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me and then I found out it was because he had met someone else. We have been apart now for a little over two weeks, no contact either and it is just killing me. I thought that I was doing a little better but I now realize I'm not. I am just dreading the weekend. I can't seem to stop thinking about what he's doing, what they're doing, are they doing all the things we would do on a weekend? I try not to think about it and I try to turn my mind elsewhere but I just can't seem to shut it off. This is awful. This pain is just unbearable. I know I should keep myself busy but that is hard too because my two closest friends have moved away and most of my friends are mutual friends so I don't really have that many people to hang out with, and even if I stay busy that still doesn't help me when I come home and lay in bed by myself. And part of me doesn't even want to stay busy part of me just wants to lay in bed and put the covers over my head, and a huge part of me just wants to go back to my old life, where weekends didn't suck and we were together. I just don't know what to do I hurt so bad and it hurts even more that he hasn't called me and he probably isn't going through this because he has her to take his mind off it. This is just awful.

[Bluegirl]

Hi there,

 

It's spooky, I know exactly how you feel. I was with my boyfriend for over three years and we were very much in love. Unfortunately he began to have doubts a few months ago even though I was the most serious girlfriend he ever had and we thought we'd be together forever. He asked for a 'break' and I hoped that we'd get through it, that he'd miss me as much as I missed him. At the start he did, he was very lonely and miserable but suddenly, out of the blue two weeks ago I got an email from him to arrange to give me back my things. It turns out he has begun seeing a girl from work. I am totally gutted, I think she was just a convenient way to get the relatiohship breaking up but I am torturing myself imaging them doing all the things we used to do. I know he is not going through any of the pain and hurt that I am, she's his distraction and he's probably fine. I'm sure in the long run I have chosen the most mature way to handle things by working through my sadness but it still really hurts to know he can walk away so easily. I feel like a fool....

[Wimpy]

Hey I really know how you feel. Right now I should be overseas visiting my b/f after a couple of months apart. Instead he e-mailed me 10 days before I was due to go dumping me but still expecting me to come and see him "as a friend". He broke every promise he made to me before he left and I am gutted. Been off work with depression since it happened and am bereft. Everything seems hopeless. I'm in my mid 30's thinking "what if this is it? what if I NEVER meet someone again". But what hurts the most is that he's so quickly moved on with his life and seems to care little about the devastating impact his actions have had on me. I got him all wrong and I feel like such a mug.

 

I loved him and was prepared to up sticks and move my whole life to be with him and even THAT wasn't enough.

 

The only time I feel okay is when I'm asleep. I open my eyes every morning and I'm like "oh crap" another day.

 

This is pure hell.

[djedix]

Girls!

 

I know you're in a hard place. I've been there. I've been dumped by my fiancee in Jan. I was physically sick, and used to sit around on the weekends hoping for a phone call, or something. I would wish that she would just finally snap out of this new person she became. I wanted her to come back to the path of the life she told me for the entire time we were togeather... the life she said we were going to have togeather, and she saw it no other way. Well eventually she did see it another way, and she left me.....

 

But i've learned so much from this experience. I'm not afraid anymore, of being alone. not 1 bit. I know deep down inside that everythign happens for a reason. I think i know the reason why she reentered my life....She entered my life to help me find the old me, and bring him back out. Even thou she left, I changed, I am the person i used to be. I love the things i once loved before, thigns i frogot, and things i thought were lost again. I have matured so much out of this. I can't look back. I don't want to look back. I want to move forward and meet new people. I want them to experience this new me, and the love i have to offer. and in Time, someone will find me, and will want the same things as me, and we will live happly ever after. Till then, I'll survie. because i know this is only temporary, and this pain, is fading every single second.. time will heal you all.

 

Time...

[chai714]

DJ Edix put it well. I too was in a very similar situation as you alonegirl. Dreaded weekends, and dreaded down time. The only prescription to get past this is the passage of time, and spending time with family and/or friends. I also found it very useful to keep a journal (I kept mine on link removed). This helped sort out my thoughts and feelings. The cool thing is you'll be able to look back and see how much you've grown as an individual down the road. For now though, go through the tears, frustration, and memories. It's completely normal and is part of the healing process.

[annie24]

Hey there - I'm sorry that you're going through this tough time. I agree with everything the other posters have said. Try your hardest to do NC. It will help you in the long run.

 

As for the weekend, do anything and everything to get your mind off of him. Go out with gfs for brunch or an interesting movie, clean your apartment, walk a dog (if you don't have one, get one!), volunteer, go for a walk in the park, get a fun book from the library - just keep yourself busy busy busy!!! Don't let your mind dwell. I promise, every day will be easier than the previous. Good luck!!!

[Tryingtobestrong]

I hate weekends too now. I have been dumped nearly 7 months ago, and the first months were the worst. The last couple of months I have always made sure that my weekends are firmly booked and I have no time to sit around and feel lonely.

 

Well, tonight nobody had time or muse to see me and I am sitting home alone, thinking about my ex and fighting temptation to give him a call.

 

I am meeting friends tomorrow, so I am counting the hours till then and try not to think too much about where he might be right now and who he might be with.

 

Hope we all come out at the other side soon.

[simon_uk]

hi

 

I know exactly how you are all feeling. The weekends suck big time! I am quite sure my ex snt seeing anybody else but you never know do you. the worst thing is she has a very promiscuous friend who is always on the pull, so i have no doubt that she will be encouraging her to get out and pull too. I went to the ex's mums last night just to drop a letter off. she was very nice to me, i heard no good news but I heard no bad news either so................it was a very emotional experiance and one i wouldnt wish to go trough again. I love my girl so much and just wish we could work things out but she is in one of those I am alright on my own phases I think. She is on anti Depressants so I am thinking maybe at the moment she has got a huge boost from them and maybe somewhere down the line the reality will sink in. I hope and pray anyhow.

 

Love

 

Simon

[mshollywod]

I truly feel bad for all of you who have experienced heartbreak in your lives. I have never had a boyfriend to have suffered the loss of a significant one but if losing out on a guy you like who left you standing there feeling bad about yourself sucks as well. Although not the same thing the best thing to do and perhaps the best revenge is to go out have fun and put that all behind you. If luck should have it and he sees you having fun without him...that would be the most fun.

[rainy soul]

HI alonegirl,

I know what your talking about exactly. I too do not have many friends here as I was the one who moved away from my old life. My old friends are only an hour away but they have gone on a trip ...with my ex ofcoarse! But I have to admit that I have sortof just accepted the patheticness of the weekend...Now its not so bad but I remember driving home from school and feeling everyone else's anticipation of the weekend approaching, seeing people with their friends and loved ones having beers on patios or sitting at cafes and my big plans were to hit the yoga mat and head home for the evening to talk to my mom on the phone..excuse me while I laugh at myself. I have forced myself however to get out as much as possible, invite new friends out, do anything. In some ways that has helped alot because even if I could see my old friends they want the old me around, But the old me doesn't exist right now and I end up having to pretend like I'm doing just fine! At least the new friends so long as I don't bombard them with my heart break don't know any better and assume that this is just how I am...a little subdude. If you can't find anyone to go out with make a point of making an evening for yourself at home..Force yourself to go out and get a movie(comedy) and maybe a bottle of wine with a box of Kleenex to go with. I would personally recommend the movie the wedding signer as there are some scenes that will having you roaring at how eerily similar they are to our situations. If you really feel like you need to lay down in bed for the weekend then do that too...I did it for the first week after we broke up..I'm talking no eating, no showering, didn't change my clothes for seven days, just completely took a holiday from sanity, but you know what it changed absolutely nothing! Your pain is still incredibly fresh make sure you keep yourself occupied or if you really feel like you need to lay in bed for a week then do that but whatever you do, do it for yourself! Take care