Confused about ex surfing. Does he still have feeling for me?

[webgal22]

Hello everyone!! I'm new to this forum. I need some advice about my ex-boyfriend who reached out to me recently out of the blue. We used to date for 6 years (2001-2007). I ended the relationship because I was interested in someone else plus I wasn't happy. After we broke up, we ended up talking to each other again over text/phone calls 3 months after we split. He would talk about how he was back on the dating scene. He hasn't had any luck finding a nice girl. In 2012, I decided to text him to say we need to stop talking because I'm engaged. I married the guy I left my ex for. Found out that my ex changed his phone number. I never heard or seem him again.

 

August 2017 I received a text from someone who sent me a message saying "Hi is this still ____ number"? I said yes who is it? It was my ex saying "Hi haven't talked to you in a long time"...How are you? I was surprised that he reached out to me. We started having the 'catching up' conversion. Prior to all this, my friend texted me saying she ran into him at a festival. She said my name was brought up. I believe she asked him if we still talk? (my friend knows we don't so not sure why she said that) He tells my friend he hasn't talk to me in a long time and that he has a girlfriend who has kids. As we text each other back and forth, he said he found out I got married and congratulated me. I texted him twice asking him if he is in a relationship/married. He didn't answer my question. All he said was 'just text me back when you can don't want bother to you'.

 

Even though I knew he has a gf I decided to ask him again...so do you live by yourself? He replied saying no with girl/fiancée. At this point, I'm a bit confused on why he's texting me out of the blue if he's planning on marrying someone else? Why did he label her as girlfriend/fiancée and not just fiancée. Plus when he saw my friend he told her he has a girlfriend who has kids. So I texted him saying...'I was surprised to hear from you. I'm wondering what made you text me out of the blue after all this time? 'Please be honest with me'. 6 days later he text me back saying 'I forgot I still remembered your number'. He also said "I'm sorry if I bothered you in anyway I apologize". Then I said 'No it's cool...you can text me whenever you want'. Then he says 'You sure your husband don't mind?" Besides you are married. SO after all that he didn't really answer my question about why he text me in first place. Why text me if he fears he can't talk to me because I'm married? I have feeling he's not telling me something? I'm thinking he might still have feelings for me? What should my next text to him be? Hope someone can help me! Thank you so much!

[Moesta86]

He is probably wondering how happy you are with the guy you left him for. He doesn't seem to be fully satisfied with where he ended up, hence the "you sure your husband won't mind" trying to get a reaction from you. He may still have feelings for you but what's most certain here is that you still have feelings for him. Ask yourself why exactly you are interested to know why he text you? What difference does it make? I would stop the texting with the ex and focus on my marriage. You may end up hurting your husband.

[seanryder]

I don't think it's ever good to have exes orbiting you. Sooner or later your marriage will hit a bump in the road, and it is all to easy to fall into the arms of someone you have been with before.

 

Staying in touch with exes in my opinion will ALWAYS lead to problems in your current relationship.

 

As Robin Williams said in Good Will Hunting....."your move chief!"

[Ziggy123]

Why do you care so much? That is the real question....

[Viewcart]

The fact you came all the way on enotealone to make a thread about this indicates that you still have unresolved feelings for him. Show some respect for your husband and block the ex.

 

Ask yourself why you care so much. Exes always come back for small life updates out of curiosity, the right thing to do is ignore.

[DanZee]

When an ex contacts you like that it's usually because he's lonely, or depressed, or just remembering "the good old days." He may also be looking to cheat on his current gf (I'm assuming he hasn't really popped "the question" to her). If you're not looking to cheat on your husband, you should stop texting him back.

[PICCOLLO]

Sounds like you both have unresolved issues here. Its often the way that people recall past loves as being a happier time in their lives, though in reality they weren't.

 

Time to let this one go altogether. Moving on and leaving the past behind is healthy.