Snooped through Ex girlfriend computer......

[Norton360]

Ex and I have been split since Valentines Day, but we hang out together all the time. So I had a very hard hitting breakup that took me by surprised when my ex ended our relationship when saying she didn't have reciprocal feelings towards me after a year of dating. It took me by surprise as events leading up to it, made me feel like we were becoming even closer than we ever were.

 

So after breaking up, about a month, we began to hang out like we used to do. I would go over to her house, and spend the day with her and her daughter. We'd watch movies/go to the park/have dinner all together. It felt like olden days. Then one day out of the blue, I started to notice she had found someone else, and it was getting serious. Memorial day weekend came, and she went to the beach with this new person, and her daughter. It bugged me to no end, as she explained to me she went with a "friend." To me I didn't even ask for that information, but she provided it like it was a deterrent for me to try and get back with her. I told her I understand that we're no longer together, and that my intentions are not to come off like I'm trying to get back with her.

 

Come 4th of July weekend, we decided to go to the beach. Her brother who I never met before, but had spoken to on the phone numerous times during our relationship, came with her daughter. My ex and her daughter, her brother and daughter, and myself all went to the beach. While there, one night my ex said something about hanging out with someone when we get back, and it threw me off. I interrupted it as she couldn't wait to get back so she could hang out with her new fling. In reality that wasn't the case, and I was overreacting. I had gotten pretty drunk that night, and was in a weird mood. It was pretty noticeable, and childish of me as she told me who she was going to hang out with when we all got back, and even I was invited. Her friend just had a baby, and she wanted myself to go with her and hang out. She had pulled me aside, and questioned my behavior and ultimately said inviting me there to the beach may have been a mistake. Well I apologized, and everything went back to the way it was before my behavior outbreak.

 

Fast forward a few weeks. We're back home, hanging out almost every weekend it would seem. She randomly tells me that her and the guy that she had gone to the beach with weren't working out, but it didn't mean she wanted to date me again. To me I questioned why even tell me that, and then end it with not wanting to date me. We weren't even discussing anything of that matter. Time went on, we began to hang out big time, during those times we're back to holding hands, taking pictures, things that we had been doing during our relationship. To me it seemed like we were re-kindling the flame we once had.

 

Now to where everything began last night. She calls me 30 minutes prior to me leaving work, and tells me something that happened while she was at work between her boss, and herself. At the end of that I tell her I'll call her on my way home. This is what happened, and she then invited me over, in which I went. I showed up, we were hanging out. She was watching a show, then we switched it to a movie, while her daughter was eating dinner. At the end of the movie, she wanted to go bath her daughter, and while that occurred she asked me to restart her laptop for an update.

 

Now in the past, I would sometime's spend the night, then in the morning would fix her bed while she got ready with her daughter. Just to help get things done, as we both had to go to work. It was just something that I always did to help out. During a few times I would always wake her phone, in the back of my mind it was to see if any messages came in, but really I would do it to see the time. Even though she had a clock in her room I could peek over at. I am ashamed of doing it, but had no intentions since we weren't dating. Curiosity just had the best of me sadly.

 

Well last night, while on her computer, I went snooping through some pictures. I got caught red handed, but lied like the immature person I am. She didn't see what I was looking at, but I lied when she asked what I was doing on her computer, as she only asked me to restart it. I honestly was trying to do the windows updater before restarting so it would only have to install it upon restart and not download, but I did have up some photos. I partially lied when responding. I had said I wasn't doing anything, but she had walked over, and caught me quickly closing things out. She asked me to leave, because she had to think things through. I agreed to leave, but felt like I ended what we had as a friendship, and anything that could have been. I know I was in the wrong, and even lied, and she still doesn't know the whole truth. That makes me a ty person, and I will never live it down. I still have possession a car seat we installed in my car, since we were hanging out all the time. I don't know what to do with it. Not sure if everything between us is over or what. I usually would always text her once I got home, but that did not occur last night, and I have yet to receive any type of message from her. I am going to let this situation run its course, but I feel like . I don't know what to do from this point. I know I was in the wrong, lied about it, and am not 100% on how to fix the relationship between my ex and myself.

 

tl;dr ex and i hang out regularly, last night i went over and hung out, and ended up snooping through some pictures on her computer, and lied about it. That caused her to get really upset. I don't know what to do now between us. I don't want the friendship to end, but am not sure how to handle the situation. I guess I will wait to hear from her...

[Seraphim]

It is absolutely a mistake to try and be friends with someone you still have feelings for when you're broken up . Don't lie to yourself you want to be more than friends . Just let her go .

[Knight2001]

i agree. you should move on.

[hyden]

I find it odd that you cant even be truthful with yourself. You violated her privacy on her phone as well as her laptop multiple times. If you cant handle being her friend (that part is quite clear), then it is your responsibility to distance yourself.

[MissCanuck]

OP, you need to be honest with yourself: you're hoping that by being friends, she will come back. But she has told you she doesn't want to date again. You need to believe her.

 

Right now, you are the surrogate boyfriend until she finds a more permanent replacement. She should not be inviting you on weekend outings, to visit friends, inviting you over for dinner, holding hands with you - while at the same time telling you she doesn't want to be your girlfriend again. You are essentially a place-holder who is meeting her emotional needs but she is not committed to you.

 

You need to let her go. Yes, going into her computer was wrong. But really, this friendship was heading for disaster anyway.