How do i forgive and forget the fact that my ex has slept with 2 different people

[ladylike98]

My ex and i split up nearly 3 months ago but we have been non stop seeing eachother and having sex since we broke up. I would always ask him if hes seeing someone else or interested in anyone and he would always say no and i believed him. The other day i unlocked his phone and saw that he slept with 2 different people while still seeing me and while lying about not being with anyone else even though i would ask him before having sex if he has been with anyone and he said no. He told me that it didnt mean anything and that he wishes it was me, even though he knew he couldve had me whenever he wanted. Ever since we broke up ive wanted him back but he never wanted to get back together until recently but something was stopping him, and now ive realised he was just scared i would find out about this and hate him. Now he keeps telling me he loves me and wants me back but i dont know if i could trust him again. Hes a completely different person to me and now i see him as a disgusting person and i cant stop picturing him with other girls. I still love him but i dont know what to do, im more confused than ever. What should i do?

[pippy longstocking]

Maybe you never can , sometimes too much can happen . He had no regard for you at all , he had it all ways , he owed you nothing because you had split and happily slept with others while sleeping with you .

I think it is possibly time for you to cut your losses and let him go before this ruins you .

[HeartGoesOn]

After the two of you broke up he was a free agent, and had the option of sleeping with whomever he chose. To each their own, but I'm not sure why you were sleeping with him after the breakup.

 

It sounds like you're trying to hold on by a string, where in turn you're simply denying yourself the gift of healing. In short this relationship has already hit it's expiration date, (imo).

[Ziggy123]

You should go to couples counselling if you're both serious and work through this together and that will help you decide if you can move past it.

[Keyman]

When you break up with someone they have every right to sleep with whomever they wish. That you were continuing to sleep together means nothing. It is not, in fact, disgusting, that he did this. You were broken up. The disgusting part is that you went through his phone looking for this information as I am sure just by unlocking it you did not just pop up and say 'guess what? He slept with 2 girls'

 

That he lied to you to hide the truth as he obviously knew you would react this way, is NOT a breach of trust, as YOU WERE NOT TOGETHER. If you decided to get back together officially doesn't mean he will sleep with anyone else.

 

Perhaps it is time to look at why you two broke up, why you are rumaging around in his phone and getting jealous over him going with other girls while you weren't together. And if you can't deal, stop sleeping with him and walk away.

[Knight2001]

he's lied to you.

bid him farewell.

[MissCanuck]

Well, you two were not together, and it's awkward and intrusive to ask an ex who they're having sex with. Yes, he could have been honest but he knew you'd stop sleeping with him if that were the case, and he didn't want to lose that convenient source of affection (And why the heck were you still sleeping with him?)

 

I think you two will likely need to go your separate ways. Your opinion of him has changed too much and you were already engaging in unhealthy behaviour by continuing to sleep with him and root through his phone while broken up. The damage is done, in my opinion. It would likely be better to move on and start fresh with someone else.