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I want to get back together with my boyfriend but he is making it very hard


Lolkid45

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My boyfriend plays games with me sometimes. I have gotten really tired of it though. I broke up with him because of this. We are BEST friends because we hangout everyday and laugh together, we cry together, we are close. But something I have gotten tired of is him getting mad at me over stupid things. He gets mad and threatens to breakup with me, and has this "you hurt me so I can hurt you" attitude. It's plain immature. He is so much better than that and I have told him but he doesn't get it. I have told him so many times I am tired of it, and he acts immature. So I told him I'm done until he can clean up his act. I may have made a horrible decision though because I just wanted to break up with him to get his head straight. I told him "until you can clean up your act and stop being immature" So he will realize he needs to be real with me. We hadn't talked until I came to his house to pick up my stuff (we have a reptile collection together so I basically had to bring all my reptiles home) and after he saw me he seemed so hurt. I thought he would tell me "I'm sorry, I will try to stop being so immautre" but instead he kept saying "I'm going to f*ck my ex" and "I've been flirting with a bunch of girls on snapchat" He tries to hurt me when I hurt him (which is what I am trying to make him not do!!!!) so I could tell he was trying to be mean as I came to pick them up. he kept saying more and more hurtful things to me over text and its making it really hard. He even called me a . He is saying things he would never dare to say to me during the relationship. Now he is making me feel like I shouldn't even be with him at all........... I'm really sad. I feel like I lost my best friend. Best friends don't say this kinda stuff to hurt you. I feel like he is a different person right now... he is being totally irrational and I'm so upset. Honestly, it seems like he doesn't want to get back together with me. I totally explained my boundaries and what he had to do if he wanted a relationship with me. I ended up blocking up after he said all those hurtful things, and he just dm'ed me on instagram teling me to unblock him. What do I do.....

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I am just getting out of what I now believe was a toxic relationship. I think yours might be toxic too. In my opinion, the threatening and the talk of F***ing his ex, all of that will really never stop, and if it ever does, you will still be resentful about it throughout the rest of the relationship. From an outsider's perspective, I'd suggest just trying to move on for good and try to find someone (after you've healed) who would never do or say anything like that, whether they are being angry and irrational or not. But of course, the heart is irrational and I wouldn't blame you if you don't have the strength (yet) to move on.

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My boyfriend plays games with me sometimes.

 

Games are bad.

 

because I just wanted to break up with him to get his head straight.

 

You played a game. Don't play games, be direct and communicate.

 

but instead he kept saying "I'm going to f*ck my ex" and "I've been flirting with a bunch of girls on snapchat"

 

He's hurt, and is playing games to get a reaction out of you. He's really saying "I'm hurt and I don't know how to express it to you, also I am emotionally immature."

 

(which is what I am trying to make him not do!!!!)

 

He has poor communication skills, you have poor communication skills. You both play games, you both feel hurt. Both of you wants the other to cave.

 

totally explained my boundaries and what he had to do if he wanted a relationship with me. I ended up blocking up after he said all those hurtful things, and he just dm'ed me on instagram teling me to unblock him. What do I do.....

 

Keep him blocked and politely tell him "I would like to be in a relationship with you, but not at the expense of my mental well-being. I love/care for you, but you need to show me the same. I will work on my communication with you, but you must show me that we are in this together. If that cannot happen, have a good life, and let me know if you change your mind".

 

Something to that affect, not verbatim please. It has to sound like you.

 

 

GO WORK ON YOURSELF, BE SECURE IN WHO YOU ARE. SECURE PEOPLE DON'T PLAY GAMES.

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You can't make someone behave a certain way, OP.

 

He has gone beyond being immature to being verbally abusive. He's hitting you with low blows because he wants to demean and upset you. This is not someone who you should consider a best friend. He's a punk.

 

It sounds like this relationship needed to be over.

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but i dont know what to do without him. I only have 2 or 3 real friends. everyone else around me is fake. i see girls around me do stuff that shows they have no respect for me. he was my best friend. what do i do now. i literally hate everyone else around me

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I totally explained my boundaries and what he had to do if he wanted a relationship with me.
... and here he is still being the same insensitive and immature jerk who is making zero effort to be who you wished he was.

 

but i dont know what to do without him. I only have 2 or 3 real friends. everyone else around me is fake. i see girls around me do stuff that shows they have no respect for me. he was my best friend. what do i do now. i literally hate everyone else around me
You don't go back to an arsehole because you don't have a gaggle of friends. Are you unable to function without the help of a whole bunch of followers or something? (not said in a malicious tone). You have 3 real friends... that is enough for anyone to function in their life. Work on yourself and your confidence and leave the jerk boyfriend in the dust. You don't need him you're just missing him being in your life and that will certainly change as you rehab from your addiction to him through zero contact. Do Not unblock him and delete him from Instagram as well so that he can't rent space in your brain for free. He is NOT going to change anytime soon so get rid of him in heart and head.
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