Has anyone been the crazy ex?

[Sll199028]

I'm embarrassing myself. It's been six weeks now since my boyfriend of 6 years broke up with me. (I've posted a previous thread)

 

I've managed one week of no contact in that time. Other than that, I've text him every single day. Usually multiple messages in a row, essays and essays of my feelings, and begging to have him back. In the first few weeks, he would engage with me and the emotional messages, saying he was sorry, he was missing me too. Now he will only text me back to talk about the sale of our house. I get that, it's ok.

 

I feel like I'm ready to stop with this craziness but I'm just so embarrassed. I actually can't stop cringing tonight thinking about it. It's hit me how insane I've been.

 

I hurt a lot but what I've done isn't the way to fix it. You could write a novel with my hundreds of messages.

 

Has anyone else done this?

[boltnrun]

Next time you're tempted to text him, ask yourself what you think the result will be.

 

I recommend you store his number in your phone as "DON'T" instead of his name. That way you'll see it and hopefully won't follow through with texting him again.

 

I haven't done the texting avalanche but I did the early morning and late night drive-bys and stalked his MySpace (yep, back on those days) and the profile of the girl he dumped me for. I hung around with his family and friends hoping to hear that he had broken up or was fighting with his girlfriend. I loved listening to his family telling me how much better they liked me than her. I acted ridiculously, but it's apparently quite common. I finally had to move hundreds of miles away to stop my lame behavior. And it worked, now I can't stand the guy lol.

[RedDress]

I think most people have been the crazy ex at some point or another. At least to some degree. I think it's normal to kind of want to grasp onto things and think that if you say *just* the right things or put yourself in their view in *just* the right way, that maybe they will realize how awesome you are. It's part of caring, and being committed, and having a heart. But yeah... there is a point where it crosses into crazy territory. Lol!

 

Luckily, I guess I'm kinda old now so Facebook wasn't really a thing when I started dating. Texting was, if you were willing to press the '2' key on the number pad 3 times to get a 'C'. Lol! That naturally slows you down. I definitely did the drive-by, though, and too many phone calls and showing up at places where I thought I might 'accidentally' bump into them.

 

As I got older, I just realized that we all have these desires to 'make it right' and made it harder to contact them. Write their number on a piece of paper somewhere if you must, then delete their number and texting history from your phone.

 

I think we've all had that cringy feeling. You are not alone. It doesn't make you a bad person. Just learn from it, right? That's all we can do.

[lovehermit]

It is good that you think you are ready to stop your craziness. Do it. Stop it. He left you for a reason. Stop trying to get him back. If he plans to get back to you, he will, even if you don't do anything.

 

When I was dumped by my girl one time, I did not contact her for a long time. It was painful. When I contacted her after 6 months, I guess, I just asked how she was. And then it all turned out good.

[Honeycomb8]

I never acted crazy perse.

But I did continue having sex with that one ex I had issues getting passed for ages after.

 

Hmmm which wasn't a great decision on my part obviously.

 

 

The emotional texts won't help, I hope you can get yourself something you can write in to journal your emotions. Dumping all the emotions on him only makes him feel cornered and you feel distraught.

[Miastar]

Oh I feel for you don't beat yourself up over it. You were hurting and it was your way of dealing with things.

 

The others are so right when they say we think if we say something a particular way or word it in a particular way then our exes will see how great we are and will come back. It doesn't ever seem to happen this way though.

 

You know now to stop the messages and a healthier outliet will be better. I've been going to counselling and dumping all this chatter in my head during those sessions. It's helpful.

[Pleasedonot5]

Respect yourself enough never to beg for someone else who chooses not to be with you, ever again. Respect your ex-partner enough not to try to guilt them back through begging. It's unattractive, pathetic, and it will not get you your ex-partner back.

 

In several weeks' time, if you really feel you need to apologize for the amount of texting you did, you'll send one statement:

 

"Hey [his name]. I want to apologize for my repeated texting several weeks ago. I was really hurting, and I coped with it by texting you like that. It was unfair to you, and I hope you can forgive and understand. Please do not feel the need to respond to this text. Thanks and best wishes, [your name]."

 

And that's it. Don't send anything else, and don't expect a response. Heal, improve yourself, spend time with friends and family, and eventually, move on.

[Disenchanted]

It seems like I've been the crazy ex because I contacted my ex after 2 months of dreaming that she would come back, but she didn't. I called her after 2 months of NC and post-breakup only to find out she's doing fine and is happy and over me.

 

I looked crazy.

[mandeelove]

Yes you are not alone. We all have been there. Ive been there. You just learn and grow from it. Just make sure to delete his number so you dont have an urge. Or block outgoing messages to him. Its not going to be easy or overnight but you must control yourself. If you have alot to say, write it in a journal or letter form. Then put that in a drawer. But dont send anymore messages. If u want him to know u love him he already knows. Idk your situation but you dont want a guy to know you are crying over him. For sime reason it pushes men away. You need to be the strong fabulous person you know you are. You cant control the breakup but u can control how u handle it. Much love to you .. wish u luck.

[eidetic]

Hahahahahaha -- YESSSS.

 

I successfully stopped after I changed his contact name to that of a celebrity I really liked a lot but who happens to be dead.

 

 

 

I'm not sure why that was the solution for me, but it really, seriously, completely was. You aren't stuck with this. Find your best solution and trust it, and love yourself for being so self caring and clever and tender with you.