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Does religion matter?..I need help here

Shinnel

By Shinnel
in Emotions and Feelings

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Shinnel Newbie

Shinnel

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I would make this as brief as I can

I have been in a relationship with a Muslim.I'm a Christian by the way..We so much love each other but my mom won't accept him

She said I'm on my own if I marry him. He is a good guy but she says I would suffer if I marry him

I can't do without this guy cos we are attached to each other..apart from religion she would accept him but cos he is a Muslim she doesn't want him near...she is concerned about what people with say but I'm not

She has decided to cut me off if I go with him..its just religion that stands in our way but I still want him no matter what

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Capricorn3 Grand Master

Capricorn3

Posted
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Yes, sometimes it DOES matter. Usually, one or the other will eventually want their partner to convert to their religion and that's when the real trouble starts. Also, families don't usually easily accept the other (as you have already learned). So yes, it matters. I would listen to your mother.

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itsallgrand Grand Master

itsallgrand

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Of course religion matters.

 

People of different religions ( or without religion) can have long lasting relationships, but you better make sure you are really compatible and not only thinking with your heart.

 

Are you ok raising your kids Muslim? With Muslim values and lifestyle?

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Keyman Mentor

Keyman

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I don't know how well you know his family or extended family, but the Muslim religion is more strict that the christian one. It is also the non-muslim that is forced to convert if they wish to marry, as it is strictly forbidden to leave the Muslim faith. I have heard in the past, some such offences against the faith is grounds for stoning to death. I have had friends convert for marriage, and that was up to them.

 

But as you have seen from your own side, what if his family disowned hom for the same thing? Would you be prepared to both live as exiles from your extended families?

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WombatShadow Community Regular

WombatShadow

Posted
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If your SO is not a practicing Muslim, it may not be as big a deal. What does his family have to say about this situation? I'd bet they have similar views on the subject as your mother.

 

There is so much to consider here. Would you be married in a church or in a mosque? Would you convert? Would he convert? Under which religion would you bring up your hypothetical future children?

 

Also, how long have you been with this guy? If you are both strong in your respective faiths and therefore waiting until marriage for sex, I would really really really be cautious about moving forward with the relationship without some serious thought about your future and, more importantly, a lot of time. I went to a relatively strict Christian university and saw so many classmates get married during school or immediately after because they were waiting for marriage to have sex. I'd say that at least 50% of them divorced within 5 years, and there are more who I am certain are on their way there. These couples didn't really have love for one another, but instead were lusting after one another and got it all confused.

 

Good luck with your decision.

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LaHermes Grand Master

LaHermes

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Once a Muslim always a Muslim. In their faith there is no either/or, or à la carte style faith. Some younger Muslims will appear to be non-practising, in particular those living outside their own country of origin. But they will, and no doubt about it, always return to the fold.

Children MUST be brought up Muslim.

 

Weddings are not conducted in mosques.

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Scoe141 Rising Star

Scoe141

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Posted

Could your marriage work? Sure. Would it see it's fair share of obstacles? More than likely.

 

I do have a problem with what your mother said about disowning you. That's not what Christianity teaches. Not even close.

 

In the book of Romans 15:7 it says, "Therefore welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you."

 

or in 1 Timothy 5:8 "But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever."

 

Those are just a couple of examples.

 

Now she may talk about being equally yoked, and I get that. But your mom should be supportive and accepting of any decision, even if she doesn't agree with it. She's not setting a good example here.

 

Good luck.

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LaHermes Grand Master

LaHermes

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".....its just religion that stands in our way but I still want him no matter what"

 

No, it isn't Shinnel. There are other factors, such a different culture and traditions. Have you discussed these aspects with him, with HIS family, and I mean discussed in depth.

 

Marriage is a serious matter, OP, and not to be undertaken lightly, in any circumstances.

 

Besides what we may "want" and what is good for us are two different things.

 

I can't do without this guy cos we are attached to each other.

 

 

That sounds rather extreme, OP.

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Seraphim Grand Master

Seraphim

Posted
Posted
Could your marriage work? Sure. Would it see it's fair share of obstacles? More than likely.

 

I do have a problem with what your mother said about disowning you. That's not what Christianity teaches. Not even close.

 

In the book of Romans 15:7 it says, "Therefore welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you."

 

or in 1 Timothy 5:8 "But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever."

 

Those are just a couple of examples.

 

Now she may talk about being equally yoked, and I get that. But your mom should be supportive and accepting of any decision, even if she doesn't agree with it. She's not setting a good example here.

 

Good luck.

 

Could it work? It could. Depending on how flexible and respectful of each other you can be. My mother in law is a devout practising Catholic and my father-in-law is best described as probably agnostic . Neither has tried to convert the other and they have been married 58 years. They decided to raise their kids practicing Catholics. My FIL only attended mass for special occasions.

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Shinnel Newbie

Shinnel

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I'm OK with the kids being Muslim and we have talked about it..i believe God judges not by religion..The wedding would be done in a garden conducted by a clergy.

My siblings support me but what my mom thinks is that Muslims know nothing of Christ and as she put it I would be selling my soul to the devil

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Shinnel Newbie

Shinnel

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Your mother hasn't got "some hate" for Muslims. That is a very sweeping statement.

 

But has it not occurred to you (in the midst of your tunnel vision) that your mother is seeing something that you cannot.

Its precisely my life and I have thought about it.

Well its still up to me to make my decisions and I believe the right one has been made..Thanks anyway

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