Is being a virgin so bad

[rainbow]

Being a virgin never used to bother me. It was'nt an issue. until now. At uni most people I know are having sex. Not sex in a meaningful relationship but sex with anyone that is willing and good looking (at least when there drunk). Its all they talk about too. I feel out of it. Also my virginity is this big issue. Not on the surface but underneath. You know they dont include me in conversations because I wouldnt know, I'm boring.... I come back home and waht do my mates do? Talk about all the guys they slept with at uni. They ask if I slept with my ex who I was with for 4 months and when I said no they were agast. They were like what the hell were you doing for 4 months, oh my god, get it together girl. They made me feel so small, like I did something wrong. I ended up explaining myself! Explaining myself of all things! They made me feel that I was pathetic for being a virgin at 19. I wanted to sleep with my ex but something held me back. I guess it was because I was'nt sure if he cared about ME. I thought it was better to wait longer and be sure than to be sorry. That instinct saved me a lot of heartach cos at the end of the day I found out he did'nt care. Look, I just wanna wait for a guy who cares about me and respects me. Rather than shagging every guy who I get with. Is that so wrong?

[Ddog187]

I know a lot of people from a previous thread about this are still virgins. I don't really think their is anything wrong. But if your friends are giving you such a hard time on this topic then really they aren't your 'true' friends. Just remember it's your decision not theirs. But don't feel like you're pressured under the spot light. Hey I got a question I hear it all the time people talking about the uni what is a uni? Is it sort for University?

[melrich]

It's not wrong. Everyone has a different perspective on when or when not to have sex. I think the important thing is not to fall into the trap of defining yourself by your virginity. There is so much more to you than whether you are a virgin or not.

 

In terms of your friends, you will probably find that if you react to them when they get into you about being a virgin they will continue to do it. Try and relax a bit about, laugh it off and don't let it bother you. I am sure you will find that your friends wil tire of mentioning it and just accept you for who your are, not judge you for remaining a virgin.

[ReadyorNot]

I think it is perfectly ok... I think its disgusting how so many people are having sex at such a young age, or with just anyone...

 

I dont think you need to wait till marriage, but dont do it until you are ready.

 

I was actually 19 when I lost mine.. and it was with a guy who I had been with for 4 years... At the time I was so happy he was my first.. we had been together for so long.. but then when I met my current bf, part of me wishes I had of waited for him.. even though he wasnt a virgin..

 

Be proud to be a virgin.. My best friend is and she is 24... YOu will be so happy that you were a virgin when you meet that special guy...

[Iceman26]

I think being a virgin is what you make of it. Some people are virgins because they cant get any, and some people are virgins because they chose to be.

 

Your friends dont have a man's respect, because no man respects a girl that throws her hoo hoo around like that. Chances are, your friends will regret what they are doing now later in life. Also, I would venture to say these guys aren't into them for anything more than a slap and tickle anyways, and why would you want that kind of guy? I think you are making a smart decision.

[MetallicAguy]

Well I think their a bunch of tramps for sleeping with every good-looking guy at the university. Don't worry about it, their just like the biggest hookers on campus, plus since these women have been up and about screwing every good-looking guy they come by you don't know who has an STD!

[DN]

You don't have to explain anything or feel bad. It is entirely your decision. They aren't hookers but made their own decisions, you have made yours, part of being an adult is making your own choices despite peer pressure.

 

Stick to your guns, don't be aggressive, just smile and say you will have sex with someone when you are ready, not before. .

[goddess23]

honestly i feel VERY PROUD to say im a virgin and you should too. take pride in this. and be true to yourself. never cave under pressure. whether its kissing some guy or marrying him lol. never do anything that you dont feel comofrtable with and are confident you wont regret later. 19 is not that old or anything and i know what it feels like when everyone around you is doing it. (like for me everybody was going out with someone and lately it seems like everybody is having sex) so just dont stres about it. we all go through those fazes where we feel as if theres something wrong with us but its not ture.

[Hope75]

You should feel good about your decision to wait until you feel like someone cares about you and you care for them before sleeping with them.

 

Your virginity to something you can only give once, wouldn't it be nice to give to someone you know is worth it?

 

Ignore the fools who are giving you a hard time. Who are they to judge, each person makes thier own decison about having sex, it's very personal, and if they were true friends they would respect that.

[ayekasong]

I agree that you should ignore your friends. I am not a virgin, but all of my best friends (who are older than me, by the way) still are. Do I talk about sex with them? Sure, when they ask questions or just want to have a chat, but I see no reason to rub in in their faces that I am not a virgin and they are. They are choosing to wait for the right guy, and I completely respect them for that because I waited until I felt I was ready, with a man that I care very much about.

 

Don't let them get a reaction out of you, because there is nothing wrong with you choosing to respect yourself enough not to sleep with anything that moves. Good luck.

[apollocreed71]

Basically, screw them if they look down on you for being a virgin. From what you said, are you looking down on them for being easy. sorry for the harsh language, but just to show you what is going on with them. Friends come and go so do relationships. Don't have sex until you feel it is right for you. sometimes experience can help you in a serious relationship, but it can also be destructive. You have to make that call on your own. Have you ever wondered why friends pressure you into bad things, and look down on you for not doing something you do not feel comfortable doing. It would be nice to see some forum where the friend's peer pressure is positive, like stay a virgin, or become a doctor. Good luck with you decision.

[Desired1]

No, it isn't bad. It's a good thing I think. it shows that you care more about yourself than to do every guy that comes around the corner. Good 4 u!! \

[SparklingKaren]

Its not bad at all. In all honesty, I wish I had waited. I lost my virgnity when I was 19 and it was a bad decision. Despite that, I don't regret it, because I believe everything happens for a reason.

 

Please don't give in to peer pressure. You will know when it is right. No one else can determine when is the right time for you, you will just feel it. People our age are bombarded with oversexualized media and while I have a fully developed sexuality, I still feel that it glorifies it and glamorizes sex for the wrong reasons. Often people do it for the wrong reasons. They crave intimacy (that's why I started having sex), they feel they have to catch up and get experience. And because you've held out and not compromised your standards, I'm guessing a part of them is slightly jealous of you, even if they don't really realize it.

 

Sex with the wrong person at the wrong time in the wrong situation can be painful, confusing, chaotic and emotional exhausting. But when its done right it is a wonderful thing. There is nothing wrong with the fact that you've held out. You can never go wrong with doing what you feel is right. I say trust your insticts and your intuition. Don't stay a virgin out of fear, but don't give it away because you think its what your supposed to do.

[justsweetgirl]

Be proud of yourself for waiting until you feel ready. Believe me, there are so many, many more who wish they could go back in time and choose waiting over saying yes.

[ShySoul]

Nothing is wrong with being a virgin, that is something special that you shouldn't feel embarresed or down about. One day you'll be looking back and be proud you waited while they will be wondering what they were thinking for not waiting. You should wait until its right, until you find someone who truly cares about, respects, and loves you. Until then, don't let others put you down. Stand up for yourself and tell them that your waiting for something real, thats it's not something you want unless its for all the right reasons.

 

And your certainly not alone in feeling like this:

 

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[Spirits Away]

I think it's not the University that's the problem. It's just that you're stuck with that type of group. If sex is the focused topic inside that group, their life tends to expand in that direction. It's kind of interesting though, I tend to attract many people who are passionate about the things they study. It's really exciting to get to know these people. You should browse around the selection of people before getting involved with any group of people.