Can't tell if he really wants to be with me or not?

[zredbird]

So I've been with this boy since October and we are both each others first proper loves. However, in the recent few months we've been breaking up then getting together again. We've had a big break recently and bumped into each together last week and realised we both love each other and that's all that matters and to try again. Reasons for us breaking up were we were arguing as I'd get insecure as he wouldn't show he cared or would do stupid little things. We were at a party together last thursday and he referred to himself as my boyfriend to me and i said what was that and he got embarrassed and shrugged it off. We also took a photo together and he posted it on his instagram the same day. The next day he invited me round before I had work and we were fine until I got to work and he didn't message me until a few hours later asking when I finish and then ignored me when I replied. He then put "someone talk" as his snapchat story and I messaged him asking him about it saying why doesn't he just speak to me then. I didn't get annoyed or say it in that way to him or anything but he started saying i'm being ridiculous and this is why we broke up in the first place. I just changed the subject as I didn't want an argument and he invited me to go to our mutual friends after work with her and her boyfriend so I did and we were all there for 2 hours and it was good, he was being really cute and sweet to me. The next day he didn't message me so I messaged him but he kept ignoring me s0 I asked him not to as it upsets me but he kept continuing to do it. Then the day after that I was working and so was he and had no message so had to message him again and he asked to see me once Id finished work so I went to his work to see him and we went for a drive for a bit just spending a bit of time together and kept asking me what I was doing the next day, indicating he wanted to see me. He messaged me when I got home straight away but kept ignoring again and I was trying to create conversation but he was just being blunt. So today I ended up messaging him midway through the day asking what he was doing and he said nothing he was just bored and in bed so I said oh can I see you then and he said maybe idk he needs to get ready and doesn't know when he'll be ready and is supposed to be going to his friends. I was like oh okay thats fine then and he was saying actually maybe you can come round later idk so I said I needed to know then so I could get ready and he said its fine ill see you another time. I was like okay yeah and asked what he was doing today and he said "idk nothing really" which upset me as he could have seen me then. But i didn't say this and tried to keep conversation but he was being so blunt and uninterested so I just ended up ignoring him. It's been 6 hours now and he hasn't messaged me and i just don't know what to do as its making me upset and insecure but I'm scared if i confront him about it it'll just scare him away again, he never used to be like this he used to always message me first never ignore me always be talking to me about little things and wanting to see me whatever chance he gets. What can I do to fix this?

[MissCanuck]

OP, if you've only been together since October and you've already broken up and reunited multiple times - it's a sign you two do not work as a couple. That is a very unhealthy pattern and it's far too early in your relationship to be experiencing drama like that.

 

You said this is your first real relationship, so I'm curious how old you both are?

[Wiseman2]

Sorry to hear this is happening. Texting is not a relationship and on/off is a red flag.

 

You are texting way too much. No one likes text-tethering.

 

The way you fix this is to lay off the texting and wait for in person contact and dates..

we've been breaking up then getting together again.Reasons for us breaking up were we were arguing as I'd get insecure as he wouldn't show he cared He messaged me when I got home straight away but kept ignoring again and I was trying to create conversation but he was just being blunt. So today I ended up messaging him midway through the day asking what he was doing

[zredbird]

I know thats the thing but we worked soso well together before and I understand my part in us failing as a couple and am trying to hard to change myself, but if we do break up we just can't stay away from each other. I'm 17 and he's 16, im a year older than him but we're both at college together.

[zredbird]

Yeah thats the annoying thing though that texting is all our problems, we're fine in person it's just on texting which is messing it all up. I'll take your advice of stopping messaging him and stuff.

[Wiseman2]

He's too immature for you. Date guys 17-19.

I'm 17 and he's 16, im a year older than him but we're both at college together.

[SherrySher]

Do you ever just ask him if he wants to do something with you? From what I read you ask him what he's doing and when he says idk..you assume he will ask you to do something, but why not ask him?

 

It's okay for girls to ask too and maybe he's getting mixed messages too thinking you're not interested.

 

But yes, if you can set more dates up and spend more time in person, it would help solve a lot of your issues because texting can give mixed messages or messages can come across completely opposite from how it was meant.

 

Don't give up, it sounds like it could work, you guys just need to talk a bit more and see each other in person more. Don't be afraid to ask him to hang out with you if you know he's free.

[zredbird]

Yeah i asked to see him today and he kept saying "maybe idk" and then said he'd see me another time so i said oh right what you doing today then and he said nothing, so i don't like asking him in case that happens like it did today

[JaggerJim]

He's not interested. He's giving you nothing.

[Wiseman2]

Wow that's pretty lame, no?

Yeah i asked to see him today and he kept saying "maybe idk"

[JaggerJim]

He is 16, young and immature. It's not that he does not like you, he's just acting "blah" towards trying to have a relationship. He's got a lot to learn.

[zredbird]

i know, and now i ignored a message of his because it was blunt and I couldn't reply to it and he's gotten so annoyed at me for ignoring and is refusing to speak to me why is he like this ughhhhhhhhhhhh

[zredbird]

yeah it's just annoying because our relationship was so good before and i know how good he can be it's just frustrating that he's not being like it now

[Wiseman2]

Because he's 16 and too immature for you. Stop robbing the cradle. is he like this ughhhhhhhhhhhh

[SherrySher]

I can't work out if he's not interested or if he's unsure of himself.

 

Anyhow, OP I hope you can find a way to work things out one way or the other.

[zredbird]

update: i asked him what he was doing today and he ignored so just said have a nice day i love you, and then left it. Went for a coffee with two of my mates and one of them put it on her snapchat, then half an hour later he appears going into the shop opposite the coffee shop on my own and my friend messages him asking what hes getting and he's getting hair product, so he walked all that way to get one thing knowing I was going to be there. He then messaged me an hour later saying wanna come round, i said maybe later im with my friends and he said he;s working later so I just said I'll juat see you another time then (exactly what he told me yesterday) and he replied or never then that would be better, and i said why?? and he ignored. god this BOY infuriates me