Kaykayxo Posted March 29, 2017 Share Posted March 29, 2017 This sounds crazy but I literally think my man pays me the most attention when I'm being rude. It makes no sense. Whenever I don't answer his calls for awhile, or brush him off, he will be super loving, over the top compared to usual. Not to say he doesn't pay me mind regularly (we've been together for a few years) but I just noticed when I act more nonchalant he is like this. I LIKE when he is like this but it is kind of unsettling to me that it is a result of my yness. It's like he just tries harder...I obviously love the attention and effort I just don't get if he actually prefers this type of behavior. Note: Not referring to anything crazy, just paying less attention or maybe using some attitude. Link to comment
beternal Posted March 29, 2017 Share Posted March 29, 2017 The classic *treat them mean, keep them keen* thing! I think it's a standard relationship lull... He loves you, you love him but things might have gotten a bit static. Treating him mean, not showing him attention or being rude is giving him a bit of a kick out of this normality and it is encouraging him to put a bit more effort in. Many girls continue this attitude well into a relationship - playing hard to get, making the guy work for it, and some guys like the challenge. Link to comment
greta96 Posted March 29, 2017 Share Posted March 29, 2017 This is a very real occurrence that has been written about extensively, called 'the push and pull' method, meaning when one tends to push forward the other pulls away and viceversa. That's why most advice as to "how to make him/her interested again" and variations on this theme revolves around giving space and pulling back; because when you do so and stop chasing and making it easy for the other party, the other party will become intrigued, even worried they may be losing you, and they start behaving better in order to pull you back in. It's a psychological thing and it makes sense. Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted March 29, 2017 Share Posted March 29, 2017 Related concepts are Never invest more than he does, and Give each other the opportunity to take responsibility for the relationship. The push pull can be destructive, if it erodes a sense of emotional safety and intimacy. Its a matter of degree. Try to calibrate yourself in smaller increments and you may get a smoother ride. In other words, given his reaction, give him more space in general. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted March 29, 2017 Share Posted March 29, 2017 Why are you rude to him and ignoring his calls etc.? Perhaps just set a pace and don't smother in general?Whenever I don't answer his calls for awhile, or brush him off, he will be super loving, over the top compared to usual. Link to comment
Snny Posted March 29, 2017 Share Posted March 29, 2017 I suggest reading the book Why Men Love B***s to answer your thoughts. I can't tell you anything with vague information. Link to comment
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