adrianaaa217 Posted March 20, 2017 Share Posted March 20, 2017 My boyfriend (22) and I (20) have been dating for almost 2 years now. Since the beginning of this year I haven't been feeling the way that this relationship is. I know I hear girls say this a lot, but he's completely stopped doing all the things that make us more than just friends - there is 0 romance. We don't embrace each others company anymore, he never says "I love you," he's not really there for me on a deeper level, he doesn't ask how my day is, he doesn't message me good night or good morning. When we're together sometimes he is just silent or on his phone. When he's done something to upset me he doesn't care that I'm upset he just says I'm annoying and that he's tired of hearing me complain about our relationship and that I can't change who he is.. Early January was his birthday, he went to a club with his friends and I found out that he had been flirting with other girls, offering to buy them drinks and he had asked them for their Instagram. I was extremely upset but after days of him apologizing and tells me that he was drunk and trying to "big up in front of his boys," I let it go.. He promised that nothing like this would happen ever again and that it was stupid and childish but he told me that it was the first and last time something like that would ever happen again. A few weeks later we got into another fight over some text messages I found on his phone with other girls, he got mad at me for invading his privacy and said that it was just business, we almost broke up but once again I decided to let it go... I feel like after all these fights we have had due to trust issues, he is now kind of fed up with me? Which is why when I've tried to address to him that he no longer makes me feel special or appreciated he gets mad and tells me that he's tired of hearing it. He also tells me that everything is in my head and that I need to stop making up problems that don't exist because our relationship is fine the way it is. He also says that he's always been an independent person and that I need to understand that I can't change who he is. I don't know what to do, I don't think I am asking for too much. I have let go of the past, I just want to feel appreciated and wanted by him again.But I also feel like he's wasting my time. But I'm also wondering if this is all in my head and I just need to accept the relationship for how it is because what if I just have unrealistic expectations. When we're together I feel empty, and when we're apart we barely speak, we don't text he doesn't call. We see each other maybe 3-4 times a week... Sorry if I was all over the place, I just really need advice. He used to be all over me, I never had to ask for his attention or his time or his effort, it all just happened naturally up until recently. Just yesterday I tried explaining to him how I feel and he replied with "I'm dealing with too many things and you expect me to put 100% focus on you. If I do that how am I supposed to focus on my personal stuff." I understand that he's "dealing with a lot" but would it kill him to put in a little effort?? This doesn't feel like a relationship to me. Link to comment
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