Boyfriend getting a tattoo that his ex gf designed, thoughts?

[qwaspolk82]

Thanks to all the support people for their help. For the rude ones please get off those site, you do more harm than good. We come here for advice and support not snide remarks trying to bring us down.

 

Who was rude? No one. People gave you advice. Whether you choose to take it is up to you but I see no rude or snide comments on here. No one is trying to bring you down either.

[Ms Darcy]

Who was rude? No one. People gave you advice. Whether you choose to take it is up to you but I see no rude or snide comments on here. No one is trying to bring you down either.

 

I was probably a little flip with what I said.

 

I should have said that, generally tattoos are these long lasting things. Over time, it will have nothing to do with the ex and everything to do with his grandfather.

 

My point was relationships come and go but body art that uniquely captures familial love is forever.

[Doc Blaze]

Thanks to all the support people for their help. For the rude ones please get off those site, you do more harm than good. We come here for advice and support not snide remarks trying to bring us down.

 

sometimes the best advice is the one you dont want to hear.A big pattern for you is struggling with your insecurity issues.

 

break up with him if its a deal breaker..

 

but like i said before, if there is nothing else going on, learn to pick your battles wisely.

[Doc Blaze]

Take a look at his posting history. It all pretty much wildly inappropriate comments in relation to the OPs.

 

 

how was that rude. it was pretty much on point.

[abitbroken]

i see both sides. When you mark your body, you are saying that what this tattoo or piercing represents is so important to you, you are putting it on your body. To me, even though I am not into tattoos whatsoever, getting something to commemorate grandpa is one thing, but to me, it would be very personal and intimate to get a tattoo that a loved one or ex lover designed and most likely actually do the tattoo.

 

I think a dealbreaker to me was that he called his girlfriend a p*sycho instead of talking it out - seeing her side, and maybe considering - maybe I should at least look around a little to make sure I love the design or not. I am sorry, but as cool as some of the stuff my ex made was, there is no way i would connect with him and use something he made. He didn't do tattoos, but some item i had wanted and i found someone else to do it, even if it involved adjusting my vision slightly. And it ended up being something even better. Or telling her "i understand what your feelings are" and not calling her names even if he went through with it.

 

Honestly, i would break up with him. No one calls me names like that.

[indea08]

I agree wholeheartedly with abitbroken.

[Liraele]

i wasn't aware they were friends but this is showing me that he obviously thinks highly of her. he ssaid he only said that to be a jerk but I dont fully believe him. the fight has just escalated and im really not sure what to do. He started calling me psychotic, crazy, b*tch, that my true colors were showing. Im honeslty just hurt by it and too me it seems like a big deal having your ex gf artwork on your body for the rest of your life. then in turn he starts talking about my finances which I have no idea why and we've never discussed and im better off than he is. then saying hes trying to help me and brings up every past mistake ive ever made right after I asked him not to do that. I don't even know what to do but its making me not want to be with him. I don't know if I just give up and give him his way or continue fighting about it or just dump him.

 

Okay, so name-calling isn't okay. Dragging up the past also isn't okay. If this is the way things go when you fight, then maybe the dynamic isn't good to begin with, and the tattoo issue is really an issue of you recognizing this and looking for a reason to either dig in your heels or bolt.

 

Do you know how many people trash-talk their exes? To me, finding someone who parted ways with theirs and still speaks highly of them would be a good thing - so long as there are boundaries (and time has passed.) But it would be a deal-breaker for me that, as his current girlfriend, I am not being given the same or a greater level of respect.