sourhearts Posted January 14, 2017 Share Posted January 14, 2017 Quick back story; bf of 3 years (I'm 28, he's 30. We're adults. At least I am.), we broke up Dec. 30, 2016. I've been NC for 11 days. He's an alcoholic, things went south when he was caught reapeatdly skyping, whatsapping girls. Esp. one girl in particular. He's been talking to her on and off for the past year. She's now in the states studying and they met up a day after we broke up. I confronted him about it. How she went from being a fly in my soup to them actually meeting up. Everything blowing up in my face. I never expected that. Since then I have been NC. He just called me 30 min ago. I did not answer. He proceeded to send me this text: "I didn't think you would answer, and I don't blame you. I probably wouldn't either if I were you. Anyway i just wanted to say hi, and tell you that I've been thinking about you. In fact, I never stopped thinking about you. I hope everything is going good for you, hope your boss is treating you alright, and just, in general. I dunno. Hope you're doing good. Just wanted to say hi that's all." ...and my gut is telling me NOT TO respond. Am I right?? He hasn't been good to me too many lies, drunken anger towards me. Etc. I just needed to share here. I don't want to sicken my BFF with every issue. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted January 14, 2017 Share Posted January 14, 2017 For these types of 'keep you in the loop just in case' nonsense texts, it's best to delete and ignore. It would be best to delete and block him from all messaging and social media. This way that kind of mind-messing nonsense can't enter your consciousness and waste your brain power.."I didn't think you would answer, and I don't blame you. I probably wouldn't either if I were you. Anyway i just wanted to say hi, and tell you that I've been thinking about you. In fact, I never stopped thinking about you. I hope everything is going good for you, hope your boss is treating you alright, and just, in general. I dunno. Hope you're doing good. Just wanted to say hi that's all. Link to comment
RainyCoast Posted January 14, 2017 Share Posted January 14, 2017 delete and block. if you need to say things for cathartic purposes, say them on here. it's baiting. you're not starved for his crap and you know it. Link to comment
sourhearts Posted January 14, 2017 Author Share Posted January 14, 2017 It's weird because I called my friend after work in tears. Mentioning to her that it's Saturday and it's his day off. And he's probably out with whatsapp different country girl. Because why not? He can do whatever he wants now. I mean, he was only hiding it from me for the past year. Not to mention she keeps dropping passive aggressive tweets on her twitter that I'm prettttty sure are directed towards me. (I know I should not be looking...) And then I hang up on her. No less than 5 min later he calls. Weirrrrd. It's like, they sense you. Like I said in another post. He's going to have to move mountains and create a new galaxy for me to give him a, "hi" Link to comment
Scoe141 Posted January 14, 2017 Share Posted January 14, 2017 ...and my gut is telling me NOT TO respond. Am I right?? Yes you're right. Delete, block, forget and move on. There are guys out there that will treat you much better. You don't deserve that nonsense. He did you a favor. Now go and heal. Good luck. Link to comment
RainyCoast Posted January 14, 2017 Share Posted January 14, 2017 well is he having the romance of a lifetime with the app girl if her function is to allow him to vent his frustration about you to her? that's pretty pathetic. what happens when she starts drumming her fingers on the coffee table and goes "is your ex all you ever talk about? i don't date guys who aren't done with their exes"? nice catch she got herself, except it's still stuck on someone else's hook lol. Link to comment
Viceroy Posted January 14, 2017 Share Posted January 14, 2017 I would definitely delete, and perhaps even block the guy. The fact that he is a tough alcoholic is not good, you definitely don't want the potential mistreatment that goes along with that!!! Link to comment
GeekLover Posted January 14, 2017 Share Posted January 14, 2017 well is he having the romance of a lifetime with the app girl if her function is to allow him to vent his frustration about you to her? that's pretty pathetic. what happens when she starts drumming her fingers on the coffee table and goes "is your ex all you ever talk about? i don't date guys who aren't done with their exes"? nice catch she got herself, except it's still stuck on someone else's hook lol. Haha! Couldn't agree more. When my relationship ended, he admitted there was someone else he'd seen a few times and it sounded like he wanted to pursue that. However, he also said he told her all about me. I thought the same: lucky girl! She gets to go out with him and hear all about me... Oh...and I agree with the others. Stay NC. Or, if you respond, keep it short and neutral in tone. But it sounds to me like he'd be lucky to have you speak to him again. Link to comment
radiance Posted January 14, 2017 Share Posted January 14, 2017 Agree with everything else that's been said already. Delete the message, block him, keep up with NC. You're doing so well - please do not give this person who already abused your trust once another chance to hurt you. Keep busy and doing the things that make YOU happy. Link to comment
sourhearts Posted January 15, 2017 Author Share Posted January 15, 2017 nice catch she got herself, except it's still stuck on someone else's hook lol. This made me giggle. Thank you all. It's tough. I took a nap for a bit, woke up and since all of this .. it takes me a few secs to catch up with what has happened to us. All he had to do was be faithful, honest. He's farrrrrrrr x100 from the perfect man. But I felt we were perfect for one another. I know he thinks so too. The alcoholism, I was willing to battle that by his side. His financial issues, who doesn't have them?? In my mind, love conquers all. He destroyed it though. Game over. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted January 15, 2017 Share Posted January 15, 2017 For the future you need to serious rethink this myth and enabling /fixing tendency. TThe alcoholism, I was willing to battle that by his side. His financial issues, who doesn't have them?? In my mind, love conquers all. Link to comment
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