We all need this. Post one negative a day about your ex. Stop idolizing.

[rtyu4567]

The "im a victim routine" all the women hurt him. He never did anything wrong.

[cami393]

He broke up with me and me, being the respectful person I am, did not bring up that I found his messages to other women while we were together.

[heartacher]

He was so busy all the time every time I asked to spending time together it was he has job commitment family commitments etc etc which I couldn't argue with but then he was out in the clubs every weekend with his friends. Pub quizzes every Wednesday with friends, concerts, football games everything and he thought I was unfair to be annoyed and upset about this cause "I work so hard I need time to relax and have fun, I need this" yeah well I need him and I clearly wasn't enough

[heartacher]

Can sort of relate, my ex was fat too and it didn't bother me except for when people would try tell me I could do better than him... now I'm left feeling confused as to if I was so "out of his league" like everyone told me why am I the one heartbroken. Feel big headed but I just don't understand how everyone though he was "lucky" except him

[hrb23]

I could never go out and drink without her or it would be a HUGE problem. (im an extremely casual and controlled drinker)

[rtyu4567]

He was all talk no action. Nothing he did backed up what he would say. Toward the end he fed me crumbs to keep me hanging, for his emotional comfort, not mine.

[NYGirl91]

Just one?! Sorry but breaking these rules a bit. Side note - but I *HIGHLY* recommend everyone on this thread make a pros/cons list if you have not done so already! It really does help to visualize the lists side by side, especially when the cons so heavily outweight the pros

 

-he was patronizing

-even after almost 4 years together, he made me feel more and more inferior to his family each day that passed. especially his younger sister.

-he would call his mother for any and every issue we had instead of trying to handle something himself

-not outgoing, socially awkward

-boring

-controlling

-bad breath lol

-could not communicate

-ingenuine; told me a week before we broke up how much he loved me and how he was not willing to lose me

 

I could go on for days....

[NYGirl91]

Same here for her bday I bought her make up and flowers and took her out to eat. For my bday she left me to go to vegas to a festival and gave me $50 lol no effort

 

Omg guys!! Same thing here!! This past christmas my ex gave me a card with a dumba** poem saying that he was going to take us on vacation and that would be my christmas/birthday gift. My birthday was in march. We broke up in January lol so he calculated a way that he didn't have to buy me anything for christmas. This was after I spent hundreds on him and my parents got him a huge giftcard to patagonia. He claimed it wasn't planned but how could it not be?

[rtyu4567]

You do things for other just so you can feel and seem "the great I am, look what I've done and nobody does anything for me"

[exclusiveX]

He cheated on me.

[ShatteredMan]

She never truly opened her heart to me.

[Waraqqa]

It is really difficult to find some characteristics in him that I didn't like. There was so much about him I loved and admired. So, it is only small things. But since that's what we are doing here, and if it might help me even a tiny bit, here it is:

 

1) He tends to talk a lot, and when we do, I also end up talking a lot because he does. Then our conversations go around jumping from one topic to another in a manner that rarely allows us to explore each topic fully. So, it often makes them somewhat superficial. Also, he is not comfortable with silence. While I love sharing, sometimes it is nice to just be quiet together, but he was rarely comfortable with that unless we were doing something (e.g. reading or working in the same space).

I often had unquenched thirst for deeper discussions of deep matters without the constant jumping. He enjoyed the jumping, he loved it, but I loved it sometimes and other times preferred to have more focus.

 

2) He didn't always tell me when something was truly bothering him. When we went long-distance, I was upset at the contrasting difference between how much attention he gave me before and how little he could communicate after his departure, and a few times I expressed it. The last time I expressed it, I crossed the line and blamed him in unjust and hurtful ways. After we skyped it out, he assured me that he had no ill feelings towards me for that conversation. But later I realised that he had very ill feelings, to the point that it caused his change of heart. So, why take it meekly and reassure me that everything is fine when it wasnt'. Had I "woken up" sooner, I could've apologised quicker and made it up to him before it was too late.

I understand that it was simply his way of processing things.

 

These are stupid little things. I can't think of anything even slightly suboptimal. That's the problem. Too good.

[exclusiveX]

It is really difficult to find some characteristics in him that I didn't like. There was so much about him I loved and admired. So, it is only small things. But since that's what we are doing here, and if it might help me even a tiny bit, here it is:

 

1) He tends to talk a lot, and when we do, I also end up talking a lot because he does. Then our conversations go around jumping from one topic to another in a manner that rarely allows us to explore each topic fully. So, it often makes them somewhat superficial. Also, he is not comfortable with silence. While I love sharing, sometimes it is nice to just be quiet together, but he was rarely comfortable with that unless we were doing something (e.g. reading or working in the same space).

I often had unquenched thirst for deeper discussions of deep matters without the constant jumping. He enjoyed the jumping, he loved it, but I loved it sometimes and other times preferred to have more focus.

 

2) He didn't always tell me when something was truly bothering him. When we went long-distance, I was upset at the contrasting difference between how much attention he gave me before and how little he could communicate after his departure, and a few times I expressed it. The last time I expressed it, I crossed the line and blamed him in unjust and hurtful ways. After we skyped it out, he assured me that he had no ill feelings towards me for that conversation. But later I realised that he had very ill feelings, to the point that it caused his change of heart. So, why take it meekly and reassure me that everything is fine when it wasnt'. Had I "woken up" sooner, I could've apologised quicker and made it up to him before it was too late.

I understand that it was simply his way of processing things.

 

These are stupid little things. I can't think of anything even slightly suboptimal. That's the problem. Too good.

 

Dig deeper

[exclusiveX]

He lied to me about even the little stupid things.

[rtyu4567]

Slow very slow in the morning to get going and begin work and than by midday he was in a bad mood and blamed me.

[danewillow]

He'd take credit for things I did. "We mowed the lawn today." No. I mowed the lawn.

[Whocares479]

He would lie so much, even about things that I wouldn't even be bothered by the truth about. Such as, when he lost his virginity or if he watches porn.

[whizcuz]

I guess I'll be returning to this post many days seeing as how my ex had many negative things about him.

 

I disliked how he painted himself as a victim. His childhood was hard, he was kicked out of his house, he went to prison, no one visited him. His financial situation isn't the greatest. All of his relationships have failed. All of the women he meets are crazy. And the one time he meets a not-so-crazy one, me, he decides I'm not worth it. He even admitted I was perfect for him, that I was different from the women he was used to, and that our future could be wonderful.

 

Makes me wonder what else he lied to me about.

[LondonMan33]

I could actually write a book on this .

Ill start with the obvious one. 7 years relationship , one day some years ago after a small break up/fight of which there were many I was nosey and looked at her phone , she had been sexually texting an old flame from the past , suppose that,s how she dealt with fights arguments etc . anyway another fight happened over it and sure enough we got back together, roll on to 3 weeks ago we had not even been fighting for a long time ,she was telling me she was depressed and was visiting her son, I got worried after not hearing from her for 3 days so I visited her house hoping she was in . she was in , with yet another one of her old exe,s . she threw me out like i meant nothing at all.

[Whocares479]

He never asked me how my day was.

[whizcuz]

He added my niece on Facebook right after we broke up and later tried to hit on her, even though he knew she lives with me, she's a lesbian and has a girlfriend.

[Whocares479]

He told me I was falling too fast 😔

[cami393]

he says he's always been respectful for me but he cheated....

[rtyu4567]

I don't have to deal with his inability to let go of things, no matter how small, he needed to persecute over and over again.

[Annie1989]

He would do something messed up, like cheat on me and would turn it around on me when I was angry. He would say something like "I moved on and let it go, why can't you" after only like a week! It was always about how he moved on from it, but never took my feelings into consideration.