Husband doesn't trust me

[Alyshayo]

I'm not sure right now what I'm going to do. We're fighting right now because of a comment a made about his driving. I could afford a place eventually if I prepared myself first. I've told my mom all this. I'm just deciding what to do. She said she feels responsible as well for keeping her daughter in this situation, and she is right.

[tattoobunnie]

Abusers will do everything they can to isolate you. Then pick one thing to discourage you from, then move to the next, and the next. Work, friends, family, your clothing, what you eat, how you manage your kids, till you are an empty shell.

 

I've read your other post. You aren't a doormat. This man is abusive and controlling, and you need to tell your family and friends about the situation, then plan remove yourself and your kids from it. He may not be doing it in front of your kids now, but he will, and sooner enough, try to take it out on them.

 

You could have no phone, car, work, or the internet, and he'd try to make you feel small. You not being able to interact with other men is not normal, and is not a laughing matter. Do you want your kids to grow up like him, or your daughter to be cool with being abused by a man? This is what is happening, and this is what they are learning.

 

This is not a case where you can work it out, or a communication break-down - he's a bad guy. I'm sorry. There's not way around it. You could be Mother Theresa, and he's still try to keep you under his thumb.

[Wiseman2]

Did your mother arrange this marriage? Why is she responsible? Why isn't she caring for your 15 y/o sister?

I could afford a place eventually if I prepared myself first. I've told my mom all this. I'm just deciding what to do. She said she feels responsible as well for keeping her daughter in this situation, and she is right.

[Alyshayo]

Did your mother arrange this marriage? Why is she responsible? Why isn't she caring for your 15 y/o sister?

 

Gosh no. My mother didn't arrange it. My dad died and my mom is unstable with bi polar and depression. No one else in my family would step up because they suck. So many other family members would have been more suited but no one wanted to do it. She's a good kid tho and helps me with the children and around the house.

[Alyshayo]

Abusers will do everything they can to isolate you. Then pick one thing to discourage you from, then move to the next, and the next. Work, friends, family, your clothing, what you eat, how you manage your kids, till you are an empty shell.

 

I've read your other post. You aren't a doormat. This man is abusive and controlling, and you need to tell your family and friends about the situation, then plan remove yourself and your kids from it. He may not be doing it in front of your kids now, but he will, and sooner enough, try to take it out on them.

 

You could have no phone, car, work, or the internet, and he'd try to make you feel small. You not being able to interact with other men is not normal, and is not a laughing matter. Do you want your kids to grow up like him, or your daughter to be cool with being abused by a man? This is what is happening, and this is what they are learning.

 

This is not a case where you can work it out, or a communication break-down - he's a bad guy. I'm sorry. There's not way around it. You could be Mother Theresa, and he's still try to keep you under his thumb.

 

Sadly I know these things. It's just hard to get out. I wish I had more money so I could just leave or get a lawyer.

[Alyshayo]

Half the time I don't even want to get up. I find it hard to keep up with my house. Partly because I work a lot but also because I feel like I'm never happy so why would I want to spend my only alone time doing stupid house work that will be under appreciated anyhow. I don't like my life. I don't think I am being the best mother I can be because I feel I am not emotionally completely there because I've just so checked out. When it comes to us fighting I don't even put up a fight anymore I just say sorry I got nothin left. I try to give whatever I have left to my kids.

[Viceroy]

I hope you'll find the courage to leave him, that's really the best thing. I know you can't afford a lawyer, but maybe talk to someone at work, see if they can help you out. You need to get out of this marriage, it's terrible, I really feel for you (my parents have a rough marriage, it's just awful). Don't worry about him and his lack of friends, people can probably pick up the vibes he gives off and tend to stay away.

[KantSleep]

You are not in a good relationship. You have to walk around on eggshells or hubby flies off the handle. Crappy way to live. Get out if you can.

[fantasticday]

"It's good to talk .a head to head required. ...ask him whare he see you & him this time next year........coz if things don't change .. you will defenetly not be with him ..!

.life changing decisions

[chanelaris]

Your husband is mentally ill I'm sorry. He is also an abuser.