Cheating Husband

[lukeb]

All the more reason to get away from this creep. If he was beating her would you advise the same?

 

A lot of people pick crummy parters, including me. I don't think she was ever in agreement with the behavior, but chose to turn a blind eye, due to habit and age.

 

So what, if there is time invested. This is no reason to stick around!

 

The things we do in relationships that may seem obvious to you are not always obvious.

[mfrankie1]

Yeah, she can't trust him not to cheat but she can trust him to use protection and stick to rules that would govern her sexual health and possibly life?? When she gets HIV tested positive or becomes infertile due to chlamydia, is she gonna whine "but you didn't stick to the rules?!!" He'll say: " Well, you know I was a cheating, lying piece of ****.

 

Great advice.

 

 

OP, dump this trash and walk away, this is one dog you can't train.

[lostandhurt]

Open marriages are discussed BEFORE you go out and have sex with someone that is not your spouse not after you are caught and they certainly are not proposed by the person that believes in monogamy.

 

There is absolutely nothing healthy about this marriage so it needs to end. Then her ex can go find a woman that believes in open relationships and live happily ever after.

 

 

I doubt he would be to keen if his partner indulged in sex outside the relationship though.

 

Lost

[Wiseman2]

Agree

dump this trash and walk away, this is one dog you can't train.

]

[Hollyj]

The things we do in relationships that may seem obvious to you are not always obvious.

 

Of course it is. But, there is always denial due to loneliness, habit and fear. I don't think that she would be posting if she were not aware that something is seriously off.

[lukeb]

Open marriages are discussed BEFORE you go out and have sex with someone that is not your spouse not after you are caught and they certainly are not proposed by the person that believes in monogamy.

 

There is absolutely nothing healthy about this marriage so it needs to end. Then her ex can go find a woman that believes in open relationships and live happily ever after.

 

 

I doubt he would be to keen if his partner indulged in sex outside the relationship though.

 

Lost

 

Completely disagree, this marriage was probably open before they both realized it, and the reason why is that the OP and her husband are not very good at communicating and figuring out what exactly they need from each other. It is not clear if in the many times they did "break up" if the OP was seeing/dating other guys but it wouldn't surprise me. Sure preferably you discuss and have a good adult dialogue open before and during the marriage. Sure I will agree with you that this marriage did not start under ideal circumstances and it would have been nice if it did but life is rarely ideal.

 

The OP is under the illusion that every time they get back together again they are starting a whole new life together. They are not. They are continuing the relationship they always had, you know the one where she was pregnant with I am assuming his twins while he was in a relationship with someone else. They have been together for longer that they have not, like I said they never broke up, so maybe they have something, and they should explore that. It is not like they were both unaware of what was going on, they are just not very good at talking to one another about what they can be for each other.

[ayeh422]

i think it's important whatever u decide, to take full ownership of the relationship and rather than look at what's going wrong with him (out of your control), look at what you have contributed. for example, are there parts of himself that he feels he cannot express around you? that you have either implicitly or explicitly made forbidden? a man that can't be himself around you will not be getting everything he needs from the relationship.

 

do u let him feel victorious i.e. he makes u happy? most women don't realize that men desperately want their woman to be happy but if he feels that you will never be happy then he starts giving up.

 

perhaps it's right to leave him but i think most important is for you to take this as an opportunity and as gods way of teaching you something about your own patterns of behavior and what you need to change. if you do not it is likely to happen again just with a different person which would be the real shame.

 

 

this video might help u. it's a case study of a couple where the man is cheating.