Question For The Guys (Women Feel Free to Chime In Too)

[Wiseman2]

The red flags are the rushing and patronizing, controlling attitudes, not a gay roommate or your assumption that he's afraid of gays, because he's ex military, whatever. When in fact he has Never mentioned being anti-gay.

 

So an entire thread on his presumed homophobia seems like you are avoiding the real issues.. Another red flag is a prior history of breakups. Deal with the facts and the real problems not character assignations on him and assumptions to avoid the real issues. He doesn't care if you get a roommate he only suggested why not move with him if you need to save money.

I dated him previously back in February and he was trying to rush things then too, which is one reason why I broke up with him. we spend most of our time at his place anyway.

[katrina1980]

Even if the guy is not gay, so what if your roommate is a guy? It's not like you have some kind of history (eg an ex or previous attractions). He really just sounds paranoid.

 

Hey I'm with you! Where do you live, maybe you could talk to my boyfriend! lol

[Batya33]

Hey I'm with you! Where do you live, maybe you could talk to my boyfriend! lol

 

Rational or not I would not be thrilled with an opposite sex straight roomie if they shared a bathroom/small apartment. Not about "trust" just about the fringes of playing with fire. But, I would make myself get over it for serious financial benefits for my partner.

[katrina1980]

The red flags are the rushing and patronizing, controlling attitudes, not a gay roommate or your assumption that he's afraid of gays, because he's ex military, whatever. When in fact he has Never mentioned being anti-gay.

 

So an entire thread on his presumed homophobia seems like you are avoiding the real issues.. Another red flag is a prior history of breakups. Deal with the facts and the real problems not character assignations on him and assumptions to avoid the real issues. He doesn't care if you get a roommate he only suggested why not move with him if you need to save money.

 

No this has zip to do with him being patronizing, controlling, etc.

 

He definitely has an issue with me moving in with this guy who happens to be gay. THAT is the issue, I thought I had made that clear, apologies if I didn't.

 

And based on our conversations and his reactions to various other discussions, I suspect he MAY, just may, have issues re homosexuality.

 

Not accusing him of anything at all, or assassinating his character, not sure where that came from.... I also said I would be discussing this further with him.

 

Because IMO it warrants discussion, guess you must've missed that.

 

But appreciate your thoughts nonetheless.

 

And just to know, I don't avoid issues. I tackle them head on which is what I am planning to do here.

 

Just thought I would get some unbiased opinions from the good folks of LS before I tackled it.

 

Thanks again for your thoughts.

[katrina1980]

Rational or not I would not be thrilled with an opposite sex straight roomie if they shared a bathroom/small apartment.

 

Not about "trust" just about the fringes of playing with fire.

 

It's a very large apartment with two large masters. We each would have our own bedroom and bathroom. Lots of space, lots of privacy.

 

Mentioned that earlier too.

 

But, I would make myself get over it for serious financial benefits for my partner.

 

Thank you for saying this Batya, I agree, I would too (if the tables were turned and it bothered me) which it wouldn't.

[Capricorn3]

Thread closed as per OP's request.