My weekend was a nightmare

[coolgirl]

So this girl I don't know added me on Facebook and we started chatting. And exchanged numbers and got to talk on the phone. I thought she was a nice girl boy was I wrong. She is married is 35 year old and only been in the states for 2 years. She was texting and calling me every single day talking for hours non-stop she just seemed so needy. And I have not see her yet and we were planning to.

 

She speaks English a little bit does not know a whole lot, she does not have a license to drive, basically her husband chauffeur her around. She's always like constantly talking about her husband and how great he is with her and that he buys her everything, she said there is not a moment that goes by that we don't talk too each other everyday. She's like basically stuck to him like glue. She's like don't you want to get married and have a family of your own.

 

I said I'm not looking for marriage and that she needs to stay away from my personal life. So I come out of the show er she calls me saying I have a suggestion I told her I'm all ears. She's like even though i have not seen you your a great girl, I really like you, you have a great personality, she started to talk about her family and about her sibilings.

 

She flat out told me before I tell my brother anything I wanted to talk to you first. She wanted to set me up with her 35 year old brother. That lives in a different country. And she's like he's not the type of person to use anyone for their citizenship. She's like just get to at least know him and see if yall click at all. She asked me look at his picture if you don't see what you like just let me know.

 

So she sent me his picture. I did not like what I saw she is like we'll tell me what do you think and I'm like we will talk about it later because I was out running errands. I don't like letting people down easily and her not getting offended. Her husband was the one that made this suggestion to her. So I thought about it and told her that I'm sure your brother is a nice person I said no. And told her I have problems going on in my life and wouldn't be right. To drag someone else. We were suppose to met up but then she cancelled she said the reason me and my husband wanted to met you was because to talk more about her brother.

 

In the meantime another person added me on Facebook we started chatting seemed like a nice and decent man. I told her yea I met someone else and we're just friends and nothing more and they got the wrong impression, that I choose another man than her brother. Her husband told her I told you she's not a reliable and trustable person. Because she would tell me everything. And her husband told her mind your own business and stay out of her life.

 

She told me what's his name maybe I might know him. I told her and she texted me his profile information she said is this him. I said yup. She's like stay away from him, he's not a good person he messages everyone on there. I'm like so what he may have alot of friends. She's like he texted me too when he knows I'm a married women. That's not right. Honestly she was going nuts.

 

She canceled plans to see me this coming week but then she changed her mind. So last night out of my mistake I told her about a previous situation of mine that was getting to me I told her a little not to much. She's like send me his pic I might know him. So again out of my stupidity I did and she's like I know him. At first she told me her friend from back home talked to him before for 2 day's and didn't get anywhere with him this was 8 months ago and he and i were talking for a year then she said I don't know him that we'll but I have talked to him before.

 

She was like a ticking time bomb. She started saying he's a womanizer, don't talk to him, he'll use you and so much BS. I asked her one simple question and that was, was he your boyfriend and all hell broke loose with her. She lost it, by playing the victim card and im the enemy, that your unstable, you made my life a living hell, I will never forgive you. Your nothing but trash. That I'm a rude obnoxious person, and that I should had stay out of her personal life. She shared everything with me by her own choice, I do not give myself that right to be in anyone's business she decided to but into mines. I will take you to court by making false assumptions and accusations i swear to God and on my 3 grandparents grave I never did such thing. Shes like dont contact me dont call me. I blocked her but her voice messages come through. And she's from the same culture I am which is iranian.

 

She calls me up i didn't answer went straight to voicemail. Because I blocked her at first the 1 second of her message she started flaring up. That I'm a jealous person of her and her husband. And so much more crap. I'm like wow. Before I blocked her on Facebook I messaged her saying both of you go to hell and grow the h..... up. And take your childish act some were else. And that there fake people. And blocked her. She created another account again writing me a nasty message.

 

I have enough going on in my life this just was the tip of the iceberg for me. I'm literally done with people. I'm done. I canceled Wednesday. I said forget it.

 

So to anyone who's reading this I don't know what's going on out there. But please be careful as to who you choose a group of friends or dating for that matter. I know i made a mistake from my part and I do take full responsibility for my actions. Do not trust anyone easily when they even say hi to you. They may look innocent from the outside but inside is a whole different story.

[gebaird]

Oh my goodness, what is wrong with these people? I'm so sorry. The last thing you need is this kind of drama in your life

[JaggerJim]

This is why facebook needs to be eradicated off the face of the earth.

[browneyedgirl36]

This is why facebook needs to be eradicated off the face of the earth.

 

I agree that Facebook has issues, but...this is also about the OP's personal boundaries, which don't seem good. I have to admit, I don't accept friend requests from random people on FB -- I'm only friends on there with people I actually already know (or at least knew in the past, like in high school or college), so I don't understand the concept of befriending a stranger AND giving out my phone number/contact info to someone I know little to nothing about. There were a ton of red flags here -- the woman contacting the OP constantly, her intrusive questions, her aggressiveness in trying to foist her brother onto the OP -- it's all very questionable, and I can't imagine why the OP didn't shut the woman down sooner by blocking her.

 

coolgirl, this is a good lesson for you about being selective about whom you allow into your life -- giving out your contact information, sharing personal details, etc. This woman had NO right to any of the information you gave her and it became clear early on that there was something off about her. Next time, proceed with more caution, and if things seem off, cut the contact right away. My final advice -- to everyone -- would be to not just blindly trust strangers. Yes, everyone we're friends with now was once a stranger to us, but people have to show us they can be trusted before we invest too much into them. Lesson learned here, I'm sure. I'm glad to hear you blocked her.

[coolgirl]

Luckily, I'm glad this while shrade is over with. It has not effected me emotionally. I'm fine. I just slept it off. Lol But I do have a question she can't do squat can she by me saying something wrong by proving my innocence? Lol

 

Oh my goodness, what is wrong with these people? I'm so sorry. The last thing you need is this kind of drama in your life

[coolgirl]

Oh, yea lessen learned big time. This is why I don't have friends. And don't plan on having anymore.

 

 

I agree that Facebook has issues, but...this is also about the OP's personal boundaries, which don't seem good. I have to admit, I don't accept friend requests from random people on FB -- I'm only friends on there with people I actually already know (or at least knew in the past, like in high school or college), so I don't understand the concept of befriending a stranger AND giving out my phone number/contact info to someone I know little to nothing about. There were a ton of red flags here -- the woman contacting the OP constantly, her intrusive questions, her aggressiveness in trying to foist her brother onto the OP -- it's all very questionable, and I can't imagine why the OP didn't shut the woman down sooner by blocking her.

 

coolgirl, this is a good lesson for you about being selective about whom you allow into your life -- giving out your contact information, sharing personal details, etc. This woman had NO right to any of the information you gave her and it became clear early on that there was something off about her. Next time, proceed with more caution, and if things seem off, cut the contact right away. My final advice -- to everyone -- would be to not just blindly trust strangers. Yes, everyone we're friends with now was once a stranger to us, but people have to show us they can be trusted before we invest too much into them. Lesson learned here, I'm sure. I'm glad to hear you blocked her.

[Zaphod]

This is why facebook needs to be eradicated off the face of the earth.

 

Anti-social media

[Batya33]

Oh, yea lessen learned big time. This is why I don't have friends. And don't plan on having anymore.

 

 

This has nothing to do with making friends or friendships. Friends are a precious gift. And worth the time to invest in developing. Giving a stranger your contact information and engaging with the stranger to the extent you did has nothing to do with making a friend or developing a friendship. Please don't use it as an excuse not to seek out, develop or maintain friendships.

[browneyedgirl36]

Oh, yea lessen learned big time. This is why I don't have friends. And don't plan on having anymore.

 

Well...it's not about having friends or not having them. There are a LOT of really great people out there, just waiting to be your friend! The issue is trusting your instincts and developing -- and keeping -- good personal boundaries. It might be helpful for you to do some research into personal/relationship boundaries, as these are a huge factor in healthy relationships. If you don't have solid, healthy boundaries (i.e. making it clear what you will and will not put up with, taking time to get to know people to decide whether they are trustworthy, refusing to compromise yourself and your values just to keep someone in your life or keep them happy -- these are all aspects of healthy boundaries) people will walk all over you. I admit that, while I do have quite a few friends, it didn't happen overnight and the majority of people I meet do NOT become my friends, whether because our personalities are so different that we wouldn't get along long term, or our values clash, or...and I know this sounds weird, but...there is just something about them that doesn't sit well with me. That's OK. Everyone is NOT supposed to be our friend. You have the right to be selective about the people you call your friends; part of that is realizing, early on, that things are "off" and that maybe someone is not good friend material, and ending things accordingly. (This is not to say that someone can't seem OK at first and then turn out not to be down the road, but generally, people reveal things about themselves right away that let us know whether they'd make good friends).

 

A few key things to consider:

 

If someone is too full-on right away, wanting to be your best friend when you've just met (or, in this case NEVER met in real life -- only online): Red flag.

If a complete stranger or near-stranger is immediately in your business, trying to get details about your life or sharing way too many details about theirs: Red flag.

If someone you barely know is asking you to do things you are uncomfortable with or are unsure about -- whether it's to buy something they're selling or date their brother and is persistent/aggressive about it: Red flag. If they won't take 'no' for an answer, especially more than once, when you've been firm and clear -- BIG red flag.

If you feel ANY significant pressure from someone you barely know to do/say/be anything -- Red flag. Again, if you are uncomfortable, and you express your concerns and they persist and dismiss your feelings: HUGE red flag.

 

That uncomfortable feeling you felt all along -- the one that made you stop answering this woman's calls -- is the signal that you're personal boundaries are being violated. Unfortunately, you let it go WAY further than you should have, probably. Please understand that this is not just because it's not wise to have friends or because other people are bad, it's because you need to learn to sort the good ones from the bad ones earlier on and, once you spot the bad ones, get them out of your life right away.