NC log - a place to vent

[luisannalui]

My feelings of missing him yesterday faded away by night time, thankfully. The feeling comes and goes. One minute I miss him soo much, and the next I know I'm better off without him. It just sucks. NC days this time are going by so slow. I feel each day that starts and ends. I wonder why it feels harder.

 

how many days of NC?

[lovelyworld]

how many days of NC?

 

I think 5, I'm not exactly sure. I kept breaking NC until a few days ago.

[katara42]

I think 5, I'm not exactly sure. I kept breaking NC until a few days ago.

I remember that realization of it truly being over. It was like some colour had faded from the world. But it was also like seeing clearly for the first time in a couple years. Ehugs

[lovelyworld]

I remember that realization of it truly being over. It was like some colour had faded from the world. But it was also like seeing clearly for the first time in a couple years. Ehugs

 

Yes, I think that's why it's harder this time

[lovelyworld]

So I catch myself not thinking of him sometimes, and it's such a weird feeling. And every time I think of him, I can't even think of the "nice" and "romantic" him. I think I'm feeling better, but that always changes. I still think "oh he must have forgotten about me already"...but I try to tell myself that it's ok because I want to forget him too. I've been keeping myself busy, in a good way. Distraction really is good. I'm also eating better. I'm just noticing positive things, but idk if it's too soon, and if I'll feel the opposite tomorrow.

[Vivi0476]

So I catch myself not thinking of him sometimes, and it's such a weird feeling. And every time I think of him, I can't even think of the "nice" and "romantic" him. I think I'm feeling better, but that always changes. I still think "oh he must have forgotten about me already"...but I try to tell myself that it's ok because I want to forget him too. I've been keeping myself busy, in a good way. Distraction really is good. I'm also eating better. I'm just noticing positive things, but idk if it's too soon, and if I'll feel the opposite tomorrow.

Its sometimes a bit of a rollercoaster ride. I think of it as a graph chart. You'll have dips and then peaks and then dips again. Over time the dips get smaller and the peaks get longer. As long as the momentum is upward you'll be just fine honey.

[Vivi0476]

So, my date last night with Southern boy was pretty phenomenal. So much so that he just showed up at my work. My husband NEVER showed any interest in my work outside what I was bringing home moneywise. He got his hair cut, then we grabbed coffee next door and he just asked to see me again tonight. Now, I'm no fool, and this feels WAY too soon for me but I like that he's this interested in me. Funny story about this guy, I met him a year ago through my husband at the pool hall We bonded over music and beer but I was married so I never entertained anything other than passing friendship when I'd see him out. He happened to see me on the dating site I'm on. He msgd me and asked what the Heck I was doing on there. I told him and he asked me out. He knows my ex and was a little concerned at first bcuz my ex had such a reputation in our town. I assured him that he'd moved 4 hours away and we were split.

 

Anyway, this is 1 more thing that's kept me from focusing on the divorce and focusing more on my life and me and fun.

[Liamking]

I broke up with my girlfriend of 9 years last week after I found out she cheated. She has contacted me every day since and I've responded. However, I've decided to end all form of communications. So this will be my first night of not talking to her in 9 years... Writing that was really an eye opener. However, I plan to write here anytime I get the urge to call or text her.

[katara42]

I broke up with my girlfriend of 9 years last week after I found out she cheated. She has contacted me every day since and I've responded. However, I've decided to end all form of communications. So this will be my first night of not talking to her in 9 years... Writing that was really an eye opener. However, I plan to write here anytime I get the urge to call or text her.

Sorry to hear about your breakup. Wishing you the best

[lovelyworld]

So, my date last night with Southern boy was pretty phenomenal. So much so that he just showed up at my work. My husband NEVER showed any interest in my work outside what I was bringing home moneywise. He got his hair cut, then we grabbed coffee next door and he just asked to see me again tonight. Now, I'm no fool, and this feels WAY too soon for me but I like that he's this interested in me. Funny story about this guy, I met him a year ago through my husband at the pool hall We bonded over music and beer but I was married so I never entertained anything other than passing friendship when I'd see him out. He happened to see me on the dating site I'm on. He msgd me and asked what the Heck I was doing on there. I told him and he asked me out. He knows my ex and was a little concerned at first bcuz my ex had such a reputation in our town. I assured him that he'd moved 4 hours away and we were split.

 

Anyway, this is 1 more thing that's kept me from focusing on the divorce and focusing more on my life and me and fun.

 

Happy for you Vivi it's good to have someone who shows interest in you like that when you're trying to forget a crappy ex

[lovelyworld]

I broke up with my girlfriend of 9 years last week after I found out she cheated. She has contacted me every day since and I've responded. However, I've decided to end all form of communications. So this will be my first night of not talking to her in 9 years... Writing that was really an eye opener. However, I plan to write here anytime I get the urge to call or text her.

 

I'm sorry...cheating is horrible, and 9 years is such a long time I hope you find comfort on this site

[GeekLover]

I've met someone off a dating site as well. We've been communicating almost every day since the beginning of January, which has been a nice distraction. We have yet to meet, but that may happen tomorrow night. We have tried to make plans a couple times, but they have fallen through. I guess I'll see. I know I'm not ready for a serious relationship at all right now, so I'll see what happens.

[katara42]

I met a guy too he gave me an advance copy of a textbook he wrote for my boy (grade 3/4 science). It's a nice distraction indeed. Going slow. Numbnuts still sending occasional msgs and getting ppl to contact me on his behalf (work). Smart science textbook guy more fun

[Liamking]

Thank you for all the encouraging words. It's tough but I think I'll be able to get through it.

[Liamking]

I didn't realize how persistent she'd be. She's calling me nonstop. She even called my office. How do I proceed? I don't want her to show up to my job...

[katara42]

I didn't realize how persistent she'd be. She's calling me nonstop. She even called my office. How do I proceed? I don't want her to show up to my job...

I've never dealt with that, so I don't know what to tell you. If you don't already have another thread try starting one about that topic and people with that experience can help you. Please always feel free to vent here as well.

[GeekLover]

Not even close to that problem. Haven't heard from him in almost 4 months and probably never will.

[lovelyworld]

Hi all : )

Surprisingly, I'm doing better. I actually almost dislike him now....I don't know how I was with such a person. When I reflect back, I realize how silly he made me feel when I would explain my feelings about things that bothered me in our relationship and he would just tell me that i'm too sensitive and can't take a joke, when basically he just wanted to flirt with others and be single. I don't want to be with a guy like that ever again.

I still think of him soo much, and of course there are the good memories, but they're all masked by the memories that he gave me this last time we made contact. Definitely not good memories, and I'm thankful for that.

 

I have this fear though, that in a month it will hit me big time at how over it is again. I've never been in NC with him for more than 2 weeks, so I just truly hope I feel better later....does it get easier or harder? Will the fact that a month without talking to each other make me feel better like this or will it make me feel worse? I know only time will tell. I know the highs and lows are expected....I guess I'm just scared about missing him again and feeling sad. I'm afraid of being too sad again.

 

Good news is that I don't cry about him anymore. Plus, the weather is getting lovely here...so the sun and vitamin D really help.

Really hope I keep feeling better and not worse!

[Angieeee]

I feel bad again because I broke no contact. My ex gf contacted me yesterday to tell me the loan place was calling her and that I need to figure it out. I told her I would remove her off the reference so they wont call her. The last thing she said is i need to figure it out.

 

I shouldnt have replied. She was kinda rude about it too saying how annoyyed she is and so on

[Queeny42]

I am glad to hear that it gets easier. I am on my first day no contact and I feel like I would tear my own teeth out just to get a text from my ex. Stay positive, you can do this, you have already come so far.

[lovelyworld]

I feel bad again because I broke no contact. My ex gf contacted me yesterday to tell me the loan place was calling her and that I need to figure it out. I told her I would remove her off the reference so they wont call her. The last thing she said is i need to figure it out.

 

I shouldnt have replied. She was kinda rude about it too saying how annoyyed she is and so on

 

Hey Angie, don't feel bad. It happens to all of us on here. I broke NC a lot, after saying goodbye to him again and again. And I'm hoping I never break it again now. Its so bad for me. Its ok that you replied, don't beat yourself up about it...just remove her off the reference. Sorry her tone was rude and impatient...I know alllll about how that feels

And don't think of it as breaking NC...just keep going with NC. It was just a minor setback, You'll feel better soon because I was crying last week and thinking no way will I ever feel as good as I felt before, especially after breaking NC.

Think of her rude tone and let it drive you to never contact her again...that's honestly what I do now and what keeps me from from texting him. You're strong

[lovelyworld]

I am glad to hear that it gets easier. I am on my first day no contact and I feel like I would tear my own teeth out just to get a text from my ex. Stay positive, you can do this, you have already come so far.

 

First day is the hardest : ( hope it gets better for you. Hang in there. Wish you luck

[EllaAugustine]

Went 30 days NC. Then we went civil. It's been two months. Last night, we were together. Like the happiest couple you have ever seen. But no, we didn't get back together.

 

Last night, was so special I even got to tick "tv drama moment" out of my bucket list. It was just like the movies except it doesn't end with us being together. You wouldn't let go of my hand. Laughing, joking, teasing, catching up. I stuffed my face at the nape of your neck when you gave me a piggy back ride on the way to mcdonalds. And by the cashier you hugged me from behind and I swayed to the beat of the music. Silly things we stopped doing when we were together. You took care of me and made sure I was safe. You walked me to my car and kissed me. You told me you missed me, so do I. Every day. But this was your choice. You say you're confused, you say it's not the right time, you don't know what you want, we're young. And I'll understand, because above all things, I want you to be happy, even if it means me not being a part of that picture. You texted me if I got home, I replied, and that was it. Strangers.

 

I don't know what love is, but I do know what I feel is real. And if this is what it is, then I'm glad that you're my first. I love you.

[lovelyworld]

Favorite quote for today is..."Nothing is permanent in life except change"

[AloneAgain999]

Even though I broke it off with him after I found out that he cheated and had a child, he was the one who said it would be better if we didn't contact each other. The weird thing is that I believe that he honestly loved me.

 

We were together for so long. I miss the routine of him, but it's getting easier each day. I don't look at my phone and expect to see a message from him anymore, or feel sad when I don't see one, and I don't feel the urge to tell him about my day, either.

 

I don't want to ever forget him, though. He hurt me but he was a big part of my life. If I let the memory of him go completely, then I lose a piece of myself and I'm not ready for that.