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Should I delete my siblings from FB? (Really long story/background).


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We are all in our twenties, I am the oldest. Ever since childhood, we had problems with each other, especially with the sister born right before me, let’s call her Lizz. Of course, most children fight, argue, etc, but Lizz has always been different since she was a child, somewhat evil, and it has got worse with age. She was always stealing from me, be it money, new items, clothes, you name it. She has gone as far as dating my ex-boyfriends right after we broke up, when we were in our early teens. When we were kids she used to follow me in sneaky ways, hiding behind trees, bushes, etc, and as soon as she saw or heard something that she knew my parents would disapprove of, she’d run to tell, often exaggerating or lying about what she heard or saw, because she knew I would get beaten. She enjoyed watching my parents hit me. She’d just watch the whole time, and sometimes with a creepy smile on her face. She also brain washed my younger sisters, and unfortunately they followed her steps because she was the popular girl in school, and they wanted to be like her. They all got pregnant in their early & mid-teens. They partied and did drugs since very young, constantly getting into fights with others, and all sorts of trouble. They were also friends with my bullies, imagine how betrayed I felt for many years. Lizz and I shared rooms, which was hell. I’m not one to start a fight, so we often fought, because I had to defend myself, ending up with bruises and blood on ourselves. My mom had to call the police a few times. The stealing from me got worse with age, because their friends were included in stealing from me. They would wear my clothes in front of me, and lie and say that they bought the same clothes, so it was a “coincidence,” even though I never saw those same items again. They loved the drama, and I avoided it. I had a social life, and began partying when I was a bit older, but nothing out of control. I lost my virginity when I was a bit older as well. My sisters and I have nothing in common. For these reasons, and many more, we have never been close.


About 9 years ago, my mom moved states away because she wanted a fresh start, and to live closer to family who supported her. My sisters were abusive towards my mom, and my mom was supporting all of them, their children, and their drugged up boyfriends who did not work. This situation was hell as well, living in a crowded home. I moved away with a friend because I did not want to leave my home state, but eventually I decided to move states away with my mom. Ever since my mom and I moved away, my sisters have been blaming my mom for their poor decisions. They feel that she abandoned them when they needed her the most because they were so young, and with children. They often tell her that they hate her, that she’s the worst mother, etc. As for myself, they say I am stuck up, that I have always had it easy because I don’t have children, and my mom supports me with my education. My mom has told them many times that they are welcome to move in with us, but they refuse. My mom has paid the way for Lizz and her children the few times that she decided to move with us, but she didn’t even last a month, because she said she was bored to death and it was too quiet. Lizz thrives on drama, and our home was very peaceful. Lizz admitted that she missed the chaos so she always moved back. I know that my sisters are angry because they don’t have a babysitter for their children, for whenever they want to go partying. That’s all they wanted my mom for. They always treated her like crap. My mom visits them a few times a year, but she said she feels uncomfortable when she goes to see them because they constantly make her feel bad for moving. Sometimes, my mom will call me crying saying that she wants to come home because they make her feel guilty, and try to convince her to move back.


For 9 years, ever since I moved away, I have tried to reach out to my sisters, but they ignore me most of the time. The only times they reply is when they have questions about school, or when they need my mom to send them money. I have them on Facebook, and they constantly post pictures together saying things like “We will always have each other, and we are the only family we need, we don’t need anyone else, it has always been just us.” This is just an example, they say many other hurtful things, which are obviously directed towards myself and my mom. The two younger ones are doing a little better now, and decided to pursue an education and stopped using drugs. They told my parents that they looked up to me in that manner, so they wanted to be successful. That was the only nice thing they have said, and that was many years ago, right after we moved. Lizz on the other hand, has a few bad records with the law, has 5 different fathers from her children, and hasn’t really changed much. All three of them are still very close, and Lizz continues to brainwash them. Lizz has now managed to brainwash most of my old friends as well, which is interesting because they never hung out before, but she’s very skilled at doing so much evil, and brainwashing people. It’s scary to have a sibling like that. Even after I moved many years ago, I still can’t get away from her evilness. My friends don’t keep in touch with me anymore, but they talk to her all the time, I see it online.


I finally got tired of reaching out to my sisters, only to be ignored, and constantly seeing hurtful, indirect posts towards me. Several months ago I decided to stop reaching out, and guess what? They noticed. Now they are angry because I don’t reach out to them, even though they ignore me. I told my mom to stop begging them as well. So now they make indirect posts often, basically saying that we are careless, that we only care about ourselves, we never loved them, saying that they are independent and not a “mommy’s girl” who is spoiled, etc. They recently made a public post with my name on it, saying that my mom and I don’t exist, and that we are irrelevant. This is the only time that I have commented on a post directed towards me, because it was directed clearly at us, using my name. I still have them as Facebook friends, but decided to unfollow them, because I’m tired of feeling depressed over not having that sibling closeness with them. I can’t see their posts anymore, so they noticed that I stopped liking their posts as well. Even though they are distant, I still liked their pictures, and kids’ pictures, but I stopped it all completely. They are now leaving passive aggressive comments on things that I post, which is usually my mom’s cooking, or spiritual posts. I have been considering deleting them from my Facebook permanently, but I don’t know if I should. I feel that if I do, they’re gonna get crazy furious, and knowing Lizz, she’ll find a way to publicly post something horrible about me that isn’t true, just to ruin my reputation. She has over 1,000 followers, and many of them are people I went to school with. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I apologize for this really long post, ENA.

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Delete them block them, do whatever you need to do to be happy. I have sister that used steal from me and lie. She caused our entire family distress until we all finally had enough and cut all contact. This is difficult I know because it's hard to give up on blood.


And about her followers who cares what they think. You have friends & family that know your a good person and know your character. So let her go, she only looks spiteful and jealous at the end of the day.

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It sounds like you all had a rough childhood. You parents beat you? How have you found a way to forgive them?


Yeah, it sounds like at this point the best thing to do is block them all and move on. Try to find friends where you live now. If anything have some pity for them. You don't need to have them in your life but they are having a rough run of it... and it sounds like you are the one that got out.

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Equally you can work on emotional detachment and not getting triggered if you believe deleting them will bring you a loss (like reputation and if this matters to you) - it is a matter of calculating costs and effects I guess. If you don't emotionally detach, they can way new and creative ways of getting back at you anyway, probably using your mother etc.

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Yes, our parents were very abusive, especially my dad. I suppose I can try harder to emotionally detach myself. Maybe I'll save the deleting/blocking for/if when they do something horrible, hopefully it doesn't get to that point. I've already unfollowed them, so that I wouldn't feel sadness every time I see their posts. It's unfortunate that we don't choose our family. Family means a lot to me, though I've never had it. My mom is the only family I'm close to. I just watch others be close to their family members, though they have their ups and downs, that's very normal, but they don't have extreme issues like my family. I'm talking about the families that I know, I know other people have it worse.

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