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zeino

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About zeino

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  1. I think she was inconsiderate to create extra expenses afterward though, and not being happy with what the OP's family could provide on top of the 6000. But maybe this is a cultural difference. Here, people who want to invite more than the agreed or reasonable number also offer to pay for it not to put anyone into a difficult situation. But then I'm a firm believer in destination weddings or very small events that people can easily finance themselves so that they are comfortable with whatever happens. (Unless they can afford things all by themselves.) My wedding was at a place called Butch
  2. Yes, you have a future mother-in-law who has overstepped your boundaries, at least to your understanding, which is important. Will this be sorted out by some fine-tuning in time or will you be one of the women involuntarily finding themselves on the justnomil section of reddit is to be seen. It will also depend on your fiancé and how much he is willing to team up with you (this doesn't mean being rude to his mother necessarily but it means committing to you and your wellbeing at least as much as to his mother. This has nothing to do with your background, his background. Once you have chosen ea
  3. I think coming from a culture where family's blessing is important is not the factor here. His parents seem to have crossed a boundary and he has allowed it. I mean it is one thing to not give blessing to a GF (no matter how much we disagree with it) but quite another to go and propose to your son's ex when the son has a different girlfriend. It can be quite within tradition I think (but correct me if I'm wrong) to give your son the freedom to date and then consider blessing or not, but they are not sitting and waiting silently, are they? They are arranging marriage with someone else. Have th
  4. Yeah, one should not force the science of statistics that much
  5. I don't think your relationship has been a lie entirely and I don't think this person was set to use you or something like that on purpose. At the same time, I don't think he is at a stage in his life where he can transform feelings - like feeling emotionally close to someone or whatever led him to take you to those emotionally important locations- to solid, coherent and sustainable action that make a relationship exist and continue in a satisfactory way for both people. Sharing feelings on the internet - my last relationship was LDR, too- is certainly easier than doing something solid about t
  6. I think the problem is not the presence or absence of sex per se but you two having different expectations about it. Both of you are responsible for having your own needs and wants met, otherwise you can start resenting each other. I think you have started resenting your partner already - snoring, dribbling examples. Like, when we are in a more lovin state, we can admit that we are sleeping next to a cute vacuum cleaner that we love and we can move them a bit to stop their noises, or their dribbling may not annoy us. It seems like you are not there. It's good to know what you want but also
  7. Kudos to you Kitty kat for taking action. At least, it's all out now so you can approach this more directly with the help of a professional. Take good care of yourself.
  8. Thank your for the clarification. And I don't know how off-topic we are getting here, or if we are, so apologies if I'm overstepping some forum rules. Honestly, when I read this, it gives me the impression that you think women have built a world full of double standards where many things are done by women rather unfairly to men. Maybe that's not your point and the proportion of the examples gives me that impression. You are right in the sense that certain factors of equality earnt by historical battles against inequality or their extensions may not be distributed equally in the society and
  9. I said "people". I don't even believe people are just "men" and "women" anyway, there are a thousand other genders people identify with. We all experience potentially abusive red flags from the genders we interact with, naturally. So, to me, if I say "he" , that means how I experienced it but doesn't mean it excludes the possibility that women are capable of these things. So I think there is nothing implying a double statement in our comments - if I saw something, I would also happily correct it. None of us are exempt from making errors like that - no matter what our intentions - and we all le
  10. According to some therapists, there is a connection between hypersexuality, sex addiction and unhealthy parental control from childhood onward, the symptoms of which your husband seems to be showing. These therapists also argue that the emotional incest the child is exposed to at a young age results in excessive masturbation and and sometimes homosexual or bisexual tendencies. I have no intention to pathologize non-heterosexual orientation, neither do I believe that watching gay porn hints at anything. People are turned on by these things sometimes but that means just that. However, yes, some
  11. Me, too. And I think rainycoast paid me one of the nicest compliments in my life. Thank you rainycoast! And now we can imagine Shelby's mother, my mother and Jibralta's mother coming together on a digital forum sharing their misfortunes about their children and declaring each other twins Something like: - You know what. I know my fault. I have been too good and only good. That's my fault. - Oh, I'm like that, too. I've been nothing but good. - Me, too, me, too. I've only been good. Just too good. - Oversensitive, yes, they are oversensitive. - And catty. - And alw
  12. It's a bit like gray rocking one's parent, isn't it? In a kinder, more personalized way maybe. (It has taken me a long time to achieve the "kind" bit and I still fail sometimes. But nowadays I feel like I don't have to be perfect in this.) But my mother is super self-sufficient and solitary at the same time. She is obsessed about privacy, which helps If my own actions were given to me as a list some years ago and if I was told that these would be my interaction with my mother, I would think this was a horrible relationship - no intimacy whatsoever. But now that I grieved over that and ha
  13. Some parents are ageless and frozen, aren't they? Like they have zero introspection or life events that lead others to stop and think (like why is my child distant from me) have almost no effect on them. You can ignore them for a decade, go back and after the initial coldness, they will open their mouth and the distance will be closed immediately because they can start from where you left a decade ago. My mother is a bit like this, only, if she cuts you off, you cannot go back. I went NC wit her for five years but she didn't cut me off, so we started contact again. She used to have a façad
  14. My dear Pelin, My little furry angel who came into my life at a time when I was most vulnerable, whose innocent friendship helped me stand up again after all that happened last year, and whom I lost so shockingly, so unexpectedly, so horribly… My friend, my companion, my team-mate. I’m sorry, so terribly sorry. That I know you would forgive me at a heartbeat if you were alive, that you would sit on my lap or my shoulder or somewhere to make me better, that you would give me a headbutt makes it all so more painful for me right now. I’m so sorry. So sorry. Please know, if you have any way o
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