Why do I feel like this?

[JoyceVib]

Hi everyone,

 

I broke up with my boyfriend five months ago. We were together for a long time, and the break up was very nasty (from his side).

At the beginning I was broken. After a while I learned to love life again.

Since two months things are different. I feel so down lately. I'm really insecure about myself. I had a strong connection with my ex, I loved him very much. He broke that trust (like every guy I had before him).

I work very hard lately, and I'm barely able to sleep. I used to have a lot of friends and go to many parties. Now people barely contact me anymore. I feel and act different towards them. Barely able to hold a good conversation. I used to laugh a lot, wanted to know everything about people. Loved being a good friend. I changed so much. I'm really cynic and sarcastic, even towards new guys I meet. They tell me I'm beautiful and I just tell them to shut up. I don't feel like myself anymore, I feel so different. I try to be and act happy, to make people happy, but somehow they also notice this.

 

Also the guy I'm dating now wants to see me very often, we even went on a little vacation this weekend and I met his friends and he talks about me (mostl sex-related I suppose).He's a nice and good looking guy, but somehow I can't be myself with him. He sits on his mobile often, mostly when we're cuddling and right in front of my face so I can see everything (he actually forces me to look at it, he wants me to look I see chats with other girls. I don't want to be a already and let him be. Last night he got a call from an unknown number. I was laying in his arms by that moment. He asked (happy) if it was the girl he was dating before me. He had told me a lot about her and the things they did together, untill she went away to travel for a while. The caller didn't answer, they accidently called him. He kept agreeing to himself that the caller was her out loud. Even to me. Then he put the phone away. Cuddled me again for a second and grabbed the phone again to text above my head, where I couldn't see a thing.

 

I just don't know anymore. I feel so insecure, wish I could go back to the old me, but it looks like its getting worse everyday. I just want to be loved and give love. And I'm so afraid I will stay like this insecure little girl with dark thoughts which I am now.

 

Someone with familiair experiences and/or tips would be very welcome!

 

Thank you for reading

[kbbcoop77]

Be by yourself for 6-12 months with no dating..you're just settling. Clearly you're not happy with him you rebounded too quickly

[Wiseman2]

Unfortunately dating jerks like this is depressing. Start dating guys who respect you and are over other girls or not multi-dating while cuddling you.

I see chats with other girls. He had told me a lot about her and the things they did together, untill she went away to travel for a while. Cuddled me again for a second and grabbed the phone again to text above my head, where I couldn't see a thing

[rich46]

Be by yourself for 6-12 months with no dating..you're just settling. Clearly you're not happy with him you rebounded too quickly

Very succinctly put, and I totally agree.

 

You rebounded without grieving, and now you are comparing this new guy to your last relationship, and it is understandably failing to live up to expectations, which is adding to the depression that you were probably already feeling after your original break up. In addition, your self-esteem has been hit because of what happened with your last relationship, specifically in terms of how your ex broke your trust, and this current guy talking about other girls is likely not helping your spiralling emotions.

 

As kbbcoop77 so rightly said, ditch this new guy and spend 6-12 months (or as long as it takes) building yourself back up again without dating.

 

I think it will do you the world of good.