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Everything posted by JoyceVib

  1. You are right! When being in the middle of it all with your heart being into it as well its not always easy to over see. I can believe people can idealise a relationship with someone else because their current one didn't give enough pleasure. Anyways, definitely not worth it. Really dont appreciate the fake promises, further more prove he isnt right though. Thank you!
  2. Unfortunately yes. I did block him everywhere. Seeing someone else is not a priority right now, not really feeling like dating at the moment. But working on myself would be an idea!
  3. Hi everyone! I posted a post last month, you can find it back in my previous ones. Long story short: A man I dated four years ago for almost a year recently told me he never really got over me, even while having a girlfriend for three years, and asking if I want to try again because he never felt a connection like this before. When we were dating everything was always good, never a fight and it felt secure and nice. He moved to another city and so did I. We grew out of the dating but remained friends. He broke up with his girlfriend (but never told her the reason of bei
  4. Thank you both for the replies! It gave me some new insight, Im glad I posted it here 🙂 Im gonna call him in an hour and talk about this, will also suggest a time out for a while. I think it would be good to use this time to work on myself as well. Feels like the right thing to do. Much appreciated!
  5. Thank you for the reply! He did break up with her. I know this guy for years (this is a privilege at least haha) and I always found him to be very trustworthy and a good man in general. I do think he likes me, we always had a great connection, I felt that too. But the way I see it, he now realizes how hard it is to give up a three year long relationship. I think he thought it would be easier. At least, I hope you are not right 🙃
  6. Hi lovely people, I havent been dating for some months, had numerous bad relationships and I thought it would be good to take some time to myself. I dated a guy four years ago, didn't really work out at the time without a significant reason, I just wasnt ready to commit fully. From all the guys Ive dated our relationship was the most stable, never a problem and we had a great connection. The last four years we decided to stay friends. He got a new girlfriend some months after and she was ok with us meeting from time to time. I have to admit I always had a weak spot for him, but
  7. Thank you for replying! Sounds like a tough time with your mom. For my point of perspective I never really pushed people away. People did push me away and let me down, and not for being a debby downer. I had a bad habit of finding people who werent good for me in the past. Maybe lately ive been more distant, more careful and a little more on my own. But still keeping contact with friends, just a little less. Actually I hide my depression, which can be exhausting too of course, not changing the mood to a negative vibe. I feel ashamed for it and dont want to burden people with it. Could be the
  8. Thank you for replying! I am currently seeing my my doctor and were still talking about the process. I Will contact her again about the medication. Hopefully it could help a bit.
  9. Thank you for the reply! I am working out more often and it is always a relieve. Hiking and biking mostly, but maybe I should try out other options too. This is good, I am curious what it would do for me if I try it more often. Thanks! Im sorry for your dad, must have been hard on you too.
  10. Hi lovely people, Ive come to seek out for some advice again. Its something I could discuss with my therapist, but she is on holidays for a month. I wonder what the experience or opinion is from like minded people. Ive been coping with depression for a while. I remember starting with therapy was a new step in to a positive direction. Still I do feel depressed and very negative. We started processing trauma therapy some months ago. Talking about all this makes me realize that its not weird to think negative, but on the other hand its so hard to see the world in a different view. Ive
  11. Hey amazing people, Im not doing so well lately. Things have been going better, but since a month a lot of things happened and I feel my mindset going back to a negative state. I have thoughts Im starting to believe again ("I am not fun", "no one really likes me", "who can I trust?"). Ive been in therapy for three years now. Im asking for advice, because I notice every week Im feeling a bit worse then the week before. Where I had hope before now its hard to feel at least a bit positive in a day. Ive stopped dating a guy last month, didn't work (as I told in my last post). This made a di
  12. Great advice, will definitely remember this. Thank you!
  13. Definitely not enough, and I wont be there for another run. This is not what I want at all. It did happen before that I didn't want a relationship while dating someone. I was always clear about my intentions/feelings tho, not pretending like I was in love with someone, asking for another chance, only to tell them later that I wasnt. Thank you for the reply!
  14. Im gonna study those last paragraphs so I wont forget. I think you are absolutely right. I believe rose coloured glasses are a real thing, I can see more clearly now in which ways he wasnt the right fit for me either. It still stings but Im glad to have an answer. Personally its hard for me to understand why he would ask for a second change, actually prove that he made major changes and act like/say he likes me and in the end not want anything serious. What is the purpose of it all? Me and his mindsets are probably not on the same page. Thank you for replying!
  15. Definitely! Ill keep that in mind. Thank you for responding.:)
  16. Hi lovely people, In my last thread I talked about a guy I started dating again (last time was 3,5 years ago), who wanted to prove things changed. We started dating again for 1,5 months. In my last thread I talked about him being distant at some times, leaving me not knowing what to expect. I still wanted to see if it could go anywhere and talked about this with him. I told him that seeing him was always fun, but I didn't hear a lot of him in between. He seemed genuinely happy to hear this and said he was happy I told him this. He started texting me way more. He seemed more close to m
  17. I really felt this one. This is exactly the thing that I couldnt understand, why do I feel insecure when I can clearly see him trying, a new changed version of him and everything feels right when we are together. I wondered if its my own fear of getting hurt, but this makes a lot of sence. Clears a lot of things up. I know he is a shy person, and he experienced traumatic things in the past too. He is in therapy now, I did the same two years ago. I believe that in our genes certain characteristics will always stay. We are born with them. I hope and see other ones can be formed and change.
  18. Thank you Wiseman :). Yes definitely true! I didn't have the best relationships in the past, so Im still figuring out what is the right way of someone making me feel good. What if its my mind that is creating a problem somewhere because of bad past experiences and traumas, this is something that makes me wonder. But truth, they shouldnt make me feel bad.
  19. I am more fly then human lately, I observe all the time haha. I will keep this in mind! Thank you for taking the time to reply!
  20. This is beautifully explained, thank you! I absolutely understand where you are coming from and Im sure I will read this again. I wonder if our inner compasses arent a bit broken sometimes, I am afraid to judge someone else in a wrong way because I might be overanalysing. Still this makes me understand that its always important to stand up for my gut feeling and protect myself if this situation feels unstable and makes me feel insecure. I should listen to that more too instead of reading into it too much. Would you recommend from your point of view to cut it off completely and find someone wh
  21. Oof this makes my head hurt haha. Maybe this is something to talk about with my therapist. Could be! I also find him to be attractive and we have a lot of shared interest + the same humor. I remember we watched the full moon for hours last time and talked about life and everything. Felt super nice. It feels genuine for me, he makes me smile a lot and I can tell that I am making him smile a lot too. When we are together the connection feels genuine and good, when not my insecurity comes up and makes me doubt everything. Main thing is that I wonder if its my thoughts, him or a combination of bot
  22. Thank you for the reply! I do really believe he has changed, he is open about emotions and we talk about feelings too now (just not the ones about where we stand together now). Also in the way he acts he is much more open and sweet. But I am not sure if he likes me as just fwb or for more. He did tell me he likes me a lot, but I dont know if its enough or if this could change with him in the future. A month is indeed not enough to tell if someone has truely changed. And with his active social media I still feel like he needs some kind of attention (posting a looot of selfies haha). Would y
  23. I get what you are saying and I agree. It wasnt the smartest move to make. I think it had something to do with an old connection I used to feel + attraction and some kind of hope in his words. I have been thinking to cut things off the whole week, because I feel insecure again. Then again I wonder if I am not acting out too soon. From his point of view he has been taking interest in me. He wants me to meet his friends, go on holiday together, take me out to dinner every time. Tells me every time that he finds me beautiful and unique and he loves to do things together. I know this is not every
  24. Hi lovely people, After a rollercoaster of a year I am feeling much better and positive. I started dating a guy again who I used to date in the past. Back then he was really emotionally distant, and I was always attracted to emotionally distant guys (I see now). I didn't date for a while, and I feel that I am finally ready for something more serious now. Back when I used to date him he made me feel super insecure (cancelling dates, sometimes not letting anything know so we didn't speak for a while, never talking about feelings, neither did I). I told him I didn't want to have contact a
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