Still work with my ex-girlfriend, and she won't leave me alone.

[Krankor]

So, my ex-girlfriend dumped me out of the clear blue sky last June. We'd only been together about 4 months, but we'd had a long history before then. I was in love with her and didn't see it coming. I took it hard, but I've been trying to move on with my life.

 

The problem is; we still work together. For the past several months, she's been pretty good about giving me my space, aside from texting me once. She sort of tried to be friendly with me a few times at work but I pretty much blew her off and gave her the cold shoulder, and she seemed to get the message.

 

However, I'm the union steward at our job, and she had an issue with her last employee review. She first talked to the alternate steward about it, and he came to me looking for advice. I gave my objective opinion on the subject to him and told him that he should handle her grievance if she decided to file one because I really didn't want to deal with her. He must have told her what I said because she came to me looking for advice. For the first time since she broke up with me, I let myself get drawn into a somewhat lengthy conversation with her. I mostly stuck with the issue. Since then, however, she's made it a point to drop by whenever we work together. Sometimes, she talks about her union issue, even though I've told her more than once that the alternate steward will be the one to assist her, so she really shouldn't need to come to me. Other times, she just seems to want to make small talk.

 

I really don't want to talk to her. I hate that this is the case, but I still have strong feelings for her and am trying to get past that. These past couple of weeks of increased contact with her are setting me back. Having to see and talk to her isn't helping. How do I tell her to leave me alone without seeming hostile or bitter?

[Ms Darcy]

Pull her aside and tell her that you need her to stop coming to you and to deal with the alternate steward. Do it firmly but sternly.

 

Then remove her number from your phone/block it. And if she talks to you again, say "Remember what we discussed. No contact." And then ignore her.

[Brutal555]

Keep conversations short and only professional. No personal talking, Don't be the one that start a conversation ever. Even though you feel like you still have feelings behave opposite of that

[SherrySher]

Tell her that you hope her problems can be resolved somehow but that you're uncomfortable with her coming to you right now as you are trying to heal from everything and hope she understands. That's not bitter or mean and she should get the point.

[Wiseman2]

Be boring as hell. One word answers, interrupt with utter nonsense, be polite but disengaged totally.

she's made it a point to drop by whenever we work together. Sometimes, she talks about her union issue, even though I've told her more than once that the alternate steward will be the one to assist her, so she really shouldn't need to come to me. Other times, she just seems to want to make small talk.