How to stop anticipating?

[Wolfshook]

My ex managed to get to me about a month ago even though I blocked her on all of my social media and her mobile phone. She got to me through her sisters mobile phone and wrote me a message on Viber (I dont even know whether I had her sisters phone saved,it's blocked now though) how we need to talk,I told her to be quick if it's something important because I was busy. And then she said we'll talk some other day to which I just replied ok and closed the chat. Afterwards I blocked her sisters number too,because I really want to be left alone. Well,at least consciously.

 

But what's been bothering me is this feeling of anticipation of her contacting me again,though I burned all the bridges. I blocked her everywhere with the decision to move on (which is not going so bad,except for this problem).

 

What else could I do to stop anticipating her contact?

[melancholy123]

Distract yourself. If you find yourself thinking about her, do something else to change your focus. If you are sure she's blocked you should not be expecting her to contact you.

[Seymore]

As long as you keep responding to her you're never going to have peace.

[Wiseman2]

It's sort of cliffhanger because you don't know if it's breadcrumbs, miscellaneous drama, something important, etc. What do you think it's about?

And then she said we'll talk some other day to which I just replied ok and closed the chat. What else could I do to stop anticipating her contact?

 

]

[kbbcoop77]

Who dumped who?

[Wolfshook]

It's sort of cliffhanger because you don't know if it's breadcrumbs, miscellaneous drama, something important, etc. What do you think it's about?

 

]

I dont know ,and I cant guess . It could be any of those you listed. I gave her a week before I blocked her sisters number as well.

 

@kbbcoop77

She dumped me.

[SkellyWoozle]

You need to take your mind off things. Anything to distract you - join a club, go for a walk, meet new people. go out with friends, find a new hobby. Anything so as you've got less thinking time X

[kbbcoop77]

Do you know what she wanted to talk to you about? Do you have anything still tying you to her?

[Wolfshook]

You need to take your mind off things. Anything to distract you - join a club, go for a walk, meet new people. go out with friends, find a new hobby. Anything so as you've got less thinking time X

 

Yeah,I've been doing that for last 9 months,it just bothers me right in the morning and before I fall asleep.

 

Do you know what she wanted to talk to you about? Do you have anything still tying you to her?

 

I dont know, she pulled similair thing 2 months before that,telling me we should meet up because we have to talk about something, I agreed and then the day before meeting she bails out. I took it as breadcrumbs and decided to block her so it wont happen again. She never says what it is that we neef to talk about,it's just "something".

 

We dont have anything that would make us need to talk. On that field she's as important as a stranger to me.

[Wiseman2]

she pulled similair thing 2 months before that,telling me we should meet up because we have to talk about something, I agreed and then the day before meeting she bails out. I took it as breadcrumbs and decided to block her

 

]

[kbbcoop77]

Oh ok yeah sounds like she's looking for an ego boost, making sure you're still simmering on the back burner for her ..good job blocking her.

[Wolfshook]

Oh ok yeah sounds like she's looking for an ego boost, making sure you're still simmering on the back burner for her ..good job blocking her.

 

I realize that,but my heart is still kind of waiting. I want it to stop, it's not really bad during the day,but when I try to fall asleep it kind of hurts...

[nihongo]

It sounds like you have no desire to reconcile with her. If that's true, then you need to put your foot down. You keep opening the door by saying "ok, we can talk." If I truly didn't want to be bothered, I'd text her right now saying - "please do not contact me anymore. You've chosen to end the relationship and I've accepted that. I've moved on, so there is nothing more to discuss. Take care!" But I feel that deep down you can't let this relationship go and want to get back with her.

[Wolfshook]

It sounds like you have no desire to reconcile with her. If that's true, then you need to put your foot down. You keep opening the door by saying "ok, we can talk." If I truly didn't want to be bothered, I'd text her right now saying - "please do not contact me anymore. You've chosen to end the relationship and I've accepted that. I've moved on, so there is nothing more to discuss. Take care!" But I feel that deep down you can't let this relationship go and want to get back with her.

 

Well,I dont think much about reconciliation with her,it's been 10 months and she's pretty much stranger now.

 

I believe it would be childish to unblock her after month of not talking (and maybe 6 of not contacting her from my part) just to tell her that I dont want to talk to her (I tought blocking implied that).

 

But yeah, there is something holding me down deep inside me. I believe it's due to the fact that even though I've met girls,been on dates etc. I cant find somebody that would share similair interests and way of thinking. She was the closest to that.

 

It's just sad that even 10 months after there is this weight that is kind of slowing me down. It's a lot smaller now than it used to be,but it's still there.

[No1]

Why dont you just accept rather than deny? She has shown she can be cunning and finding different ways to contact you. Block one way she finds another, block that way and find another. So the more you block, the harder she tries. Why dont you just accept that its going to happen. But when it does, you simply dont respond. And this is what I was thinking.

 

If she finds an avenue to contact you, leave it open and dont block it. Right now its like there is a river between you two with hundreds of ways to cross, via by bridge, log, raft, boat, horse, balloon, and send you smoke signals, carrier pigeon, and the list goes on and on. You block one way, she finds another, you burn a bridge, she builds another somewhere and then gets you be surprise. Sometimes its nice knowing that there is only one way your enemy can cross. So keep one avenue open and that way she doesnt have to find another way? When she does text, you delete it. You can read it and delete it or you can just delete it. Accept she contacted you and relax.

 

As far as other girls you have been dating, it seems to me you are looking for an upgraded replacement and not another girl. Your X is one of a kind and every girl you meet will be a one of a kind. Rather than comparing them to your X and how close they come, just accept that they are going to be different and they can possibly fit your personality in another way.

[Wolfshook]

Why dont you just accept rather than deny? She has shown she can be cunning and finding different ways to contact you. Block one way she finds another, block that way and find another. So the more you block, the harder she tries. Why dont you just accept that its going to happen. But when it does, you simply dont respond. And this is what I was thinking.

 

If she finds an avenue to contact you, leave it open and dont block it. Right now its like there is a river between you two with hundreds of ways to cross, via by bridge, log, raft, boat, horse, balloon, and send you smoke signals, carrier pigeon, and the list goes on and on. You block one way, she finds another, you burn a bridge, she builds another somewhere and then gets you be surprise. Sometimes its nice knowing that there is only one way your enemy can cross. So keep one avenue open and that way she doesnt have to find another way? When she does text, you delete it. You can read it and delete it or you can just delete it. Accept she contacted you and relax.

 

As far as other girls you have been dating, it seems to me you are looking for an upgraded replacement and not another girl. Your X is one of a kind and every girl you meet will be a one of a kind. Rather than comparing them to your X and how close they come, just accept that they are going to be different and they can possibly fit your personality in another way.

 

I havent tought of this, it does sound interesting but at the same time I'm afraid it will make me wonder even more.

 

Well,I start comparing them when they fail to "impress" me,it's like automatic response once the initial overwhelming stage ends.

 

Maybe all that is needed is more time. We'll see how it goes.

[Wolfshook]

2 days ago I discovered she's with somebody else. My heart sunk,and I was feeling awfull through whole day. At the end I came to conclussion that I'm feeling bad because I expect myself to feel bad. Next day I woke up feeling the best I've ever felt. Same for today. Feeling of anticipation is gone, now I'm just kind of missing relationship with anybody,but that's huge step forward!