it still hurts

[tochjejo]

it's been almost half a year since he left me. half a year normally for me is such a long time... but now it seems like nothing. yes I do feel better, I was on dates, but no sparkle. with him from the first night we met we were like teenagers in love. I still lie down in my bed thinking of him, his face, eyes, his smile his touches and arms. crying hard of course. \i did everything people told me. went out, had fun, travelled, tried to be good at work etc. but obviously I still have feelings for him. I dont know how to tell myself to be brave and stop thinking abt him,I cant convince myself that there are good times ahead. I cant stop thinking that ill end up alone. that he was the one and i lost him. I want to enjoy my life. to be cheerful and joyfull and happy smily me... everyone says - just be one! but i cant..

[Wiseman2]

Stop comparing a 6 mo. long distance fantasy relationship to real local guys. Ending up alone is up to you. Whether you want to pine over a 6 mo. long distance fling or start dating and building real relationships.

 

Doesn't it seem odd to you that you are pining over him longer than you were with him? Get some therapy to find out why this is. Perhaps you are too depressed for normal relationships? Was he your first bf?

I do feel better, I was on dates, but no sparkle. went out, had fun, travelled, tried to be good at work etc.

Same guy?

[reinventmyself]

By lying in bed thinking of specific details of him is keeping this alive for you and keeping you attached to someone who is no longer in your life.

To some degree it's ok to miss someone but after a year you should have a little more distance.

Instead of inviting those memories and lingering in them, push them out of mind. It is a choice. IF you want to move on.

Sometimes people don't want to move on and they do exactly what you are doing. Reliving everything over and over in living technicolor to point it keeps it alive.

 

When my ex pops in mind I push it out and replace it with something else. Why? Because I don't want to feed into something that no longer exists and I want to move on.

You can too.

[kktang]

How do you push thoughts from your mind? It has been 3 weeks since my ex breakup with me, I tried to distract myself from going out, working (unproductively since I am not able to concentrate) etc. When I'm with friends/people I felt better but once I'm alone I miss him terribly. I met him shortly after a 1.5 years relationship, he has everything I envision in my future partner -- he is an awesome guy and we got along so well, similar values and stuffs. We dated for 3 weeks and were in an exclusive relationship for 5 weeks. I was enjoying the honeymoon period and suddenly he pulled the plug saying things were moving too fast he is not ready (he finalized his divorce paper in Feb) and gone from my life. I deleted all the messages and photos but I pass by his hometown everyday to work. I want to continue to live an amazing life be happy and see where fate take us when we reconnect again in the future. BUT I only feel sadness when he pops up on my mind, and I hate that feeling.

 

 

When my ex pops in mind I push it out and replace it with something else. Why? Because I don't want to feed into something that no longer exists and I want to move on.

You can too.