Am I wrong to be upset when my husband talks sex with other females on facebook

[Caseyjones]

I have said from the get go that I walked out 2 days ago.

I did tell him I couldn't live like that

I came here for advice on if I've done the right thing.

 

I'm with a friend who has said I can move in so YES I will be leaving.

 

I didn't come here for you joke and judge me.

 

This is my marriage and my life I'm talking about. Not an excuse for you to make a stupid remark like that

 

This was for the "busy day" remark for Clinton!!!

[Caseyjones]

Can't delete threads here. But so much happens that it will get buried by everyone else posting. We all have posted threads that reflect deeply painful times in our lives. Part of the beauty is that we have moved past those times, and are still here, able to see past our old threads.

 

Thank you for your kind response. I just find it upsetting when my situation is made fun of when my heart is shattered here and I came for helpful advice not judgment.

[IAmFCA]

Thank you for your kind response. I just find it upsetting when my situation is made fun of when my heart is shattered here and I came for helpful advice not judgment.

 

Yeah it happens. Remember in print that tone is difficult to discern and try not to take it personally. Clinton is generally respectful, and I'm sure did not mean to make light of your situation in the way that it felt to you. He ay not have realized the timing. It is easy to overlook details in active threads.

[ThatwasThen]

Thank you all for your replies. I will be moving out of our apartment in the week.

Well, in spite of you saying you have left, you haven't actually gone. I doubt he believes you will actually go but of course he will when he sees the door shut behind you.

 

While you're gone, DO look into your codependency issues. If you don't, you will remain in your addiction to him or, you will end up with someone just like him in the future. I can give you links that will give you good reads regarding codependent relationships and symptoms and issues if you are ready to make the changes, let me know. No point in doing the work to post them if you're not really interested in changing the only person you have control over changing... yourself.

 

 

Now is there anyway at all I can delete my thread? It's so upsetting I just want it gone

Its only upsetting because you're starting to rise out of your denial.

 

* Adding:

 

Wow this was an amazing read.

 

I know this sounds weak but can I ask a question honestly?

 

Do I give up on him because he's damaged?

Or do I fight to show him that with help he can be fixed?

 

That's the battle I'm facing right now.

 

If you go to al-anon you will understand that you cannot change him. You only can change you. You can give him literature on alcoholism as well as rehab/detox information and then it's up to him to change himself but he never will as long as he has someone who enables his ways.

[Clinton]

I have said from the get go that I walked out 2 days ago.

I did tell him I couldn't live like that

I came here for advice on if I've done the right thing.

 

I'm with a friend who has said I can move in so YES I will be leaving.

 

I didn't come here for you joke and judge me.

 

This is my marriage and my life I'm talking about. Not an excuse for you to make a stupid remark like that

 

This was for the "busy day" remark for Clinton!!!

 

Must have missed the part where you said you walked out two days ago. Can you point out which post you said that in because I can't find it. Must be my poor reading skills

[IAmFCA]

CJ,

 

If your handle is representing something else, look into that as well

 

This is an anonymous space, a space to tell the naked truh. When statements contradict, it suggests to me that the poster feels a sense of shame and wants to defend against comments from others.

 

I understand this as I have felt it myself. Maybe this is something you can understand also.

 

When I want to lie on here, it is because I want others to know I know what's best, and I don't want them to know that I am doing something different, anyway.

 

I tell the truth, even whend i don't want to face it. It is a way of forcing me to confront my own reality with open eyes.

 

Sharing in case this is meaningful to you.

[IAmFCA]

There is no shame in learning how to love ourselves and others. Be proud of your story.

[jennydanielle7]

You did the right thing by walking out. Now it is time to concentrate on yourself, and starting doing some serious self-love. I notice from previous threads that you have somewhat justified and kept making excuses for him because of his childhood; however, putting empathy on someone who treats you like poop is a no-no. You are a grown adult, and so is he. What he has been doing is completely disrespectful and selfish. Doesn't matter if he is drunk or not.

 

I know many who had a terrible childhood and they end up fixing themselves and going to therapy. They also know how to treat their partners with love and respect. It really depends on the person. To me, it sounds like your husband has an alcohol problem and is showing you his true colors when under the influence. That's a major red flag. What do you think will actually happen when he is around actual women while drunk? Probably something not good.

 

A relationship is meant to be for two whole people who have fixed their baggage, put past pains aside, and who is emotionally ready to put their best selves out in the open and commit to the other person.

 

Unfortunately, it sounds like your husband is nowhere near fixed and needs help. Stop justifying his childhood, and do not go back to him. Put your needs first, and start loving yourself. You have put up with his crap for far too long, and he has not respected your boundaries. More and likely, he never will.

 

Pat yourself on the back for leaving, and please do not go back to him. It will be hard at first and he will possibly beg you to come back. But remember this, people do not change. There are a few exceptions, but its extremely rare.

 

Good luck and hugs.

[shiner501]

What you should be saying to him is "Welcome to Dumpsville, population one".

[Wiseman2]

Tell him he's making a fool out of himself and looks like a dirty old man.

He just gets drunk and doesn't know his own boundaries.

[PRMan5169]

I love my husband so much but he replies to other women's posts about sex. He also posts his own stories about women and sex.

I mean like if a random woman he follows posts a rude question, he will answer it.

As well as talk about things like how to make a woman orgasm - on his own profile.

He tells me it's just Facebook and it's not real life and he's never met these women but it's Upsetting me.

Am I right to be concerned or am I being insecure?

We are not talking now because we argue over it.

 

What are the green and red flags when social networking whilst in a relationship?

I'd love to hear any similar stories.

 

My wife would kill me and i wouldn't blame her. if you're going to be an be one in secret. why put it where other people can see it and embarrass yourself and your family and disrespect you. It's just wrong. i stay off facebook just becuase my wife is always on it and questions every LOL...

 

It is disrespectful 1000%.

[PRMan5169]

yeah that's no excuse, adding drunk to the mix just makes him more of a loser. some people need to grow up