Asking someone out over long distance?

[Cordath]

Alright, so this is a continuation of a previous post of mine.

 

In summary, though, there's this girl in Wales that I can't seem to get over, and I've been trying to figure out whether or not my feelings for her are mutual. After me thinking "dear god this is terrifying" for two days in a row, I finally got her in a video call and it went really well! We hit it off amazingly and talked for well over two hours. The next day we got into another texting conversation as she couldn't call due to her being out of town all day. Here's a transcript of that conversation. For the sake of simplifying things, I'll from here on out refer to her as Delilah.

 

Me: XD You're amazing

Delilah: far from it xD

Me: ah ah ah, opinions remember?

Delilah: well no offence but your opinion sucks.

Me: well, I personally believe that MY opinion is amazing, so there

Delilah: you are amazing but I am not #fact

Me: I am amazing and you are as amazing as I #MoreFactualFact

Delilah: noooooooooo

Me: yup

Me: this is not okay stop making me feel good about myself

Me: well too bad, because you're amazing and there's nothing you can do about it. You're just stuck that way I'm afraid

Delilah: fight me

Me: *tackle hug*

Delilah: //gently punches your shoulder// i'll ing deck u m8

Me: *hugs tightly* nope. you're trapped

Delilah: fight me like a man. i'm very weak but whatever

 

It was at this point that Delilah fell asleep for some five minutes before messaging back.

 

Me: You need your rest, and I disturbed you. I apologize, I'll go now

Delilah: But I wanna talk to you

Me: How much on a scale of 1/10

Delilah: 10

Me: 0.0 I'm offended. You're at least a 12/10

Delilah: Mmmmmmmm that's not fair D:

Me: why not?

Delilah: I don't know but it's not and you're a nerd

Me: I'm even more offended now. I'm obviously tall pale, as f**k and handsome

Delilah: Well you're an attractive nerd. You know who's not attractive? Me.

Me: You know who says they aren't attractive but actually are seriously attractive? You.

Delilah: You know who's had enough of your compliments? Me.

Me: Um, hey, I don't lie. I've got a seriously strong sense of integrity

Delilah: You are cool.

Me: As are you ^-^

Delilah: Mmmmmmno. Can you cuddle me to sleep? I'm lonely and I crave affection

Me: Happily ^^ *cuddles Delilah affectionately*

Delilah: Hehe yay. Nerd.

Me: You mean tall, dark and handsome right?

Delilah: Ahah, obviously. But you're still an attractive nerd

Me: Fair enough, but so are you. Your eyes rock by the way

Delilah: My eyes are dumb and boring and waaaay too big

Me: Nope. Your eyes are perfect. They're actually kind of dangerous because one can easily get lost in them

Delilah: Noooooo they horrible. if I'm wearing a tight top most boys' eyes tend to wonder

Me: but I'm not most boys

Delilah: I know, you're cool. You're a good person who doesn't use girls and that's cool.

 

And that was that. Obviously, it was a big ol' bucket of cheese but never the less. I'm now wondering how I should go about proceeding here. I'd really like to ask her out, although I won't be able to follow through on that date proposal until I visit her next year. How does one go about doing that with someone who you aren't going to see for a while? A few of my friends also insist that I should ask her out over text for some reason, but I don't think that's the best idea...

 

Thoughts?

 

~Cordath

[Wiseman2]

Yeah, lots of cheese.

 

Ask her to be your gf, since going out is impossible.

Obviously, it was a big ol' bucket of cheese. I'd really like to ask her out, although I won't be able to follow through on that date proposal until I visit her next year

[Cordath]

Fair enough. What about the whole "You should ask her over text," thing? I'm seriously against it, but then again I know virtually nothing when it comes to getting someone to like you.

[Wolfshook]

What wiseman said.

 

How would asking out even work? You both take laptops to some fancy restaurant and do it sheldon and amy style?

[Wiseman2]

What are the alternatives if you won't be meeting her for a year?

"You should ask her over text," thing?

[Cordath]

Video calling and saying something.

[Wiseman2]

Ok do this 6588775]Video calling and saying something.

[Cordath]

Alright, will do. Thank you

[Clinton]

Find someone local. You can't see her for a year. You sound young. When would you be able to be in the same spot permanently?

[Heather Dawn]

This is pointless - she's long distance (where are you?) and you won't even see her for a year. Asking her out makes no sense because you can't actually GO out with her; asking her to be your girlfriend before you've even met makes no sense; expecting anyone to be exclusive to someone whom they've never met for an entire year makes no sense.

 

Find someone local.

 

PS: There was literally nothing of substance in that conversation. How old are you?

[Cordath]

This is pointless - she's long distance (where are you?) and you won't even see her for a year. Asking her out makes no sense because you can't actually GO out with her; asking her to be your girlfriend before you've even met makes no sense; expecting anyone to be exclusive to someone whom they've never met for an entire year makes no sense.

 

Find someone local.

 

PS: There was literally nothing of substance in that conversation. How old are you?

 

I've been in a long distance relationship before, and that lasted for two years without any major problems. I know others who have done much better than that, so saying it is pointless is rather close-minded. As for my age, I'm 17, going on 18 in a couple of months. And before you run me into the ground saying I'm immature, inexperienced, and that relationships when you are young are absolutely pointless, let me say this. While I agree that most don't pan out or result in anything, especially long distance, it is, if nothing else, still a chance to screw up and learn about yourself in the process. I also agree that I am inexperienced, and that I have an infinite amount of learning to do in the future. I am also aware that you yourself have more experiece with this sort of thing than I. In terms of maturity however, I put many to shame in that regard. (That's not me being arrogant, It's a fact) As for dating locally, as I have explained to numerous people, it doesn't work. It is extremely hard for me to find people my age that I can relate to. So hard infact that I've found a grand total of two of them in my very short time here on this microscopic hunk of rock. 99.9% of the people in my town who are my age can be summed up very quickly. They like partying, they like staying up late, they like using excessive amounts of profanity, they are lewd, they like drinking/doing drugs, they like staying up late, they like sleeping around, they don't like commitment, and they happily do as the predefined and outdated system tells them to. I like doing absolutely none of those things, and anyone I have found who doesn't like those things is already in a relationship because they are a rarity. I prefer going on hikes and going to coffee shops. And as to conversation with substance, you should hear some of the pointless tripe that people spout. If there's one thing I'm good it, it's having a meaningful conversation. I can talk politics, religion, morals or what have you with people four times my age for hours on end. That's most likely why all of my good friends are in their fifty's and sixties. However, I hardly consider text to be a medium made for such a thing. That's what speaking is for. And moving anywhere won't help my situation as I have lived in multiple towns through my childhood, and have always failed to find others like myself. It just seems to be dumb luck when I meet someone with whom I can relate.

 

Now that I've explained myself, do you have any advice that could be a bit more pertinent to my current situation? I apologize if I came aross as rude here, it is just that I have heard what you said a million times before, am perfectly aware about the challenges a long distance relationship poses, have dealt with them, and quite frankly don't care about them all that much.

 

Thanks for your response

[Wiseman2]

You need to hang around a better group of people. You don't need to search the world to find decent people nearby, that is rationalizing. Dating at 17 is fine. How old is this person you're communicating with?

I'm 17. They like partying, they like staying up late, they like using excessive amounts of profanity, they are lewd, they like drinking/doing drugs, they like staying up late, they like sleeping around, they don't like commitment.

[Cordath]

You need to hang around a better group of people. You don't need to search the world to find decent people nearby, that is rationalizing. Dating at 17 is fine. How old is this person you're communicating with?

 

My age, younger by a few months. And yes, it is rationalizing, but I'm not lying when I say I simply can't find people I can relate to. I do try my best, but everyone I meet always seems to be too different from myself for me to relate to them and have engaging conversations.