mir232 Posted June 11, 2016 Share Posted June 11, 2016 I have never used a forum before, and i dont know if anyone will see this, but i really need some help. I have struggled with depression and anxiety since i was 14. I am now 20. My boyfriend of a year became abusive near the end of our relationship, i always forgave him though because I am so in love with him. Recently i found out he has cheated on me a few months into our relationship, I was so upset and my heart felt like it was falling out of my chest. I said to myself "block him on everything, never talk to him again" and i wish i was strong enough to do that but i found myself wanting him back. I have become so dependent on him, I am worried if i am not with him I want to commit suicide because i dont want to face my problems on my own, and being without him will just make me MORE anxious and MORE depressed. I need help. What do you guys think? WHY AM I SO ATTACHED TO HIM, why can i LEAVE HIM and move on like any normal person. He has lied and cheated and hurt me but i still dont think i can live without him and i need help, because i physically cannot leave him even though part of me knows that it is the best option oh and i asked him if he cheated on me time after time and he lied. also a couple times he would push me or push me against the wall etc really need some help. People will probably just be saying "leave him!" etc but i need more advice than that because i am so attached and dependent and i dont want to kill myself. i love him so much Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted June 11, 2016 Share Posted June 11, 2016 I'm sorry but he Is your biggest problem. You can't do this alone. Do you have any friends and family to turn to? You've identified a lot of problems here, depression, anxiety, attachment, dependence and most importantly, abuse. Have you called one of those domestic hotline to talk to someone who could set you up with counselling? i dont want to face my problems on my own Link to comment
melancholy123 Posted June 11, 2016 Share Posted June 11, 2016 Are you seeing a therapist? You really need one in order to work thru your problems. You need to learn to be strong and independent and move on with your life, you probably can't do this on your own. Please get some help asap. You likely "love" the person you wish he was, not the lying cheater that he actually is. Link to comment
mir232 Posted June 11, 2016 Author Share Posted June 11, 2016 thank you for the reply. I dont have any friends because they are all in a different country. I moved to new york over a year ago and have been with this guy since. I havnt called any hotlines, i wouldnt know which ones to call; also i am worried i wouldnt be able to afford counselling Link to comment
mir232 Posted June 11, 2016 Author Share Posted June 11, 2016 I am not seeing a therapist, I used to see one for my mental illness but had to stop due to the expenses. Link to comment
ParisPaulette Posted June 11, 2016 Share Posted June 11, 2016 Call this hotline and talk to someone, it's a start. Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted June 11, 2016 Share Posted June 11, 2016 What self help are you willing to do for yourself, Mir232? If you're given links to a site where there are people that can help you, will you use it or, are you just here to vent and remain within the abusive dynamic you endure? Here is a link to start: Please call an abused woman's hotline and get started on getting yourself back. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted June 11, 2016 Share Posted June 11, 2016 This is so disturbing, and hopefully you'll call the numbers posted above. We're always here for you, and please keep us posted. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted June 11, 2016 Share Posted June 11, 2016 thank you for the reply. I dont have any friends because they are all in a different country. I moved to new york over a year ago and have been with this guy since. I havnt called any hotlines, i wouldnt know which ones to call; also i am worried i wouldnt be able to afford counselling There are many free services in NYC. Have you googled free abuse groups or free counseling services for depression? Many non profits offer free services. Call 311. They can guide you. Link to comment
mir232 Posted June 11, 2016 Author Share Posted June 11, 2016 i am willing to use it, i WANT to want to get out of what i am in and live a happy life and im willing to do anything Link to comment
mir232 Posted June 11, 2016 Author Share Posted June 11, 2016 I really would love to go to an abuse group, I think that would be a big step forward. May i ask what 311 is? Im originally from england so i am not that sure what that means! thank you for your reply Link to comment
mir232 Posted June 11, 2016 Author Share Posted June 11, 2016 thank you for the link paris paulette, I am reading it now, it seems to also be a good site to become educated on the issue of abuse Link to comment
Hollyj Posted June 11, 2016 Share Posted June 11, 2016 I really would love to go to an abuse group, I think that would be a big step forward. May i ask what 311 is? Im originally from england so i am not that sure what that means! thank you for your reply / You must be more proactive. This is your life and safety. You really must get online and search for all the services the city has to offer. Its up to you. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted June 11, 2016 Share Posted June 11, 2016 Domestic Violence Hotline New York City Domestic Violence Hotline The City’s Domestic Violence Hotline provides safety planning, referrals, and connections to emergency housing for victims of domestic violence. This assistance is available to both male and female victims. The hotline provides assistance in over 150 languages. Call 1-800-621-HOPE for the New York City Domestic Violence Hotline, or call 311 and ask for the Domestic Violence Hotline. If you are in immediate danger, call 911. The Hearing Impaired 24-Hour Hotline is TDD: 1-800-810-7444 Link to comment
sexypink Posted June 11, 2016 Share Posted June 11, 2016 Please let us know how you are! What did the hotline say? Link to comment
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